Is it me or has a 'meds' thread disappeared?

traluvie

Loving the story Tony..

Making me giggle

tjt6768

After a much disturbed night of sleep, our intrepid hero set out to find Mellion Driftwood.. All he had to go on was that he could be found in the lands that lay South...

After two days of walking he came upon a small shire, by the name of D'erbay... It seemed as good a place to rest as any and he headed off in search of a the tavern..

Right in the centre of the place was a little market square, vendors selling their usual tripe, bags of broken biscuits, toad heads, vuvuzelas, long handled toenail clippers etc etc... He wasn't here for trinkets however and quickly dismissed the urge to buy a second hand Jason Donovan CD, some cheap triple A batteries and a ten pound meat bag from the 'butcher' :shock: .

As he turned a corner he saw it, the most ominous looking place he had ever laid eyes upon, 'The Drain & Mable Inn' proprietor: Mrs J Lawson..
GULP....
He could barely see through the windows, they were all splashed with what looked like, could it be... BLOOD :shock: :shock: DOUBLE GULP.

Oh well, he thought, no turning back now, he desperately needed food and a bed for the night and there was no other Inn anywhere to be seen.

His hands were trembling as he stood outside, trying to make out what that terrible noise was, it sounded like someone was being strangled... Surely it was just his mind playing tricks on him...
He steadied his nerves and entered.....

As he entered the place fell silent, he closed his eyes for a second for fear of what he might see.....

Opening his eyes ever so slowly he began to make out figures, shapes, Oh Gods, headless figures, werewolves, vampires, frankenstien's bride, blood and gore everywhere, up the walls and along the length of the bar...
As he stood motionless and very afraid one figure started to make toward him, frankenstien's bride......
This was it he thought, I am going to die....

"Happy Halloween" said the bride....... In a semi-Yorkshire accent..
"I'm Joan, the landlady, come on in out of the cold young adventurer... Come and join the party.."

Party? He thought to himself... Idiot, lol..... But, but, what about those screams he enquired...

"Oh that was just Rehabus on the karaoke machine"
"That's his best singing voice you know!" Said Joan..



To be continued...........................................................

dreamdaisy

Oh this is wonderful stuff! Thank you tjt, that has put a broad, broad grin on my face. DD

PS Just realised - it ain't you writing this, it's the mighty Ra!

tjt6768

Shhh DD, I am his ghost writer, back in the 90's he was found guilty of forging Hitler's diaries and is not allowed by law to ever tell another story :shock:

tjt6768

While the revelry continued downstairs the kind landlady with the semi-Yorkshire accent showed him to his room...

After the mess downstairs he was dreading what state the rooms would be, but to his surprise, his room was spotless, clean linen on the bed, fresh robe etc....
A huge boiling kettle over the open fire, disc shaped pouches filled with Ye Tea of Tetley (Listen, I have no idea at what point this story became more medieval than alien, just go with it, it's meant to be a strange planet, ok? :shock: :roll: )

He made himself a large brew using the only available recepticle other than the tiny bone china cup, a spitoon... This'll do he thought..

After that he collapsed on the bed, dreaming about what beasties, villians and vagabonds he would meet on his adventures....
He knew that his travels would take him through the land of Brumite, home to the notorious skally Delious Foghorn, it was rumoured that he once rode a three wheeled chariot all the way from the land of Scum back home as a bit of a jest... :shock: The very fact that the three wheels had remained on the chariot through the land of Scum was a great surprise... Those that dwelled in that part of the world were a strange breed indeed... It was a land of red dragons and fat comedians.. Not a savoury place at all.

Maybe he could meet Delious Foghorn, tell him of the perilous trip he was making, he may just join him, and Mellion Driftwood should he be persuaded to join too...



As he slept, downstairs the festivities were over and all bar one of the party go-ers had dissapeared, Rehabus remained, he would help the landlady clean away the mess in the hope that she might, let him 'stay the night'...
Little did he know but Mr Lawson was due back any minute, and he happened to be the Sheriff....

After a hardy slap and a good telling off Rehabus decided to call it a day before the sherrif got back, he headed for his room that he had rented for the night... He was only up these parts for the party, was hoping to get a groping :roll:
He had better get some sleep he thought to himself reluctantly, it was a long way to his homelands of Brumite :shock: :shock: :shock:












To be continued..................................

tjt6768

The next morning while eating his breakfast of dodgers made of jam & fried gruts, Stony began chatting with Rehabus, turned out they had a lot in common, both suffered with constant pain, both loved to grumble and both were members of the secret AC society, a society made up of all types of creatures, but membership to this society came with a price, your very soul....
Rehabus told Stony tales from the great wars, he had been a soldier back then. Had fought in the battle of Skidmark, a notorious and viscous battle between two tribes, the Brumites & the Geordites of the North. The battle would decide who had the strangest accent. The Geordites were led by an insane warrior who went by the name of Gazzar. Legend has it he turned up to the battle in his dressing gown with four cans of meade and a bag containing fried potatoes and fish.. It was said that he often used the plant that Stony was in search of too...
Stony & Rehabus sat eating together for an age.

Our two soul-less diners soon figured out that they were bound for the same destination, Brumite...
I was decided, they would travel together, better two than one, the road they would take would be a dangerous one....


To be continued............