Sorry

joann1

Hi everyone

Sorry i havent been on for a little while, but its just to let you no that i have not completely disappeared just got so much C**p going on with work at the minute, been back four week and already thinking of leaving, having to make alot of decisions, one of them to go along taking a greivence procedure out, just totally stressed out which is not helping recovery but such is life

i got bullied at scholl i didnt think i would ver have to put up with it at work!!!

JoAnn

cloud9

Oh you poor thing. I'm new here, so I don't know you but can understand. You don't have to put up with being bullied. Get some help and support. I'll be thinking of you.

valval

in all jobs there are some bullies it is part of life i am afraid but do not let them control your life they are just cowards at hart you must make the right decision for you val

joanlawson

Hi JoAnn

I'm so sorry to hear that you are having a tough time, especially with the bullying. At various times in my career I encountered one or two bullies, and it took me a while to learn how to stand up for myself. When I look back now, I think why did I put up with that? No-one has the right to make you feel so stressed at work and I certainly wouldn't allow it to go on now. I found that the best way to deal with them was to face up to them head-on, and to tell them straight that I wouldn't accept any kind of bullying behaviour. It isn't easy, but once they knew that I would stand up for myself, they usually backed down. It's sad because I'm talking about a couple of bullying headteachers I worked for, who you would think knew better, but as Val says, bullies exist in all jobs.

I hope that things will work out better for you soon.

Joan

barbara12

Hi Jo
Im so sorry to hear this, you get bullies in all walks of life, to be honest I had a shock when told that you can get them online, I suppose a bully is a bully wherever they are.
Joan is right, if you show you are weak then they strike,they have nothing better to do, and sometimes its a fact that themselves have been bullied.
Dont forget we are always here for you to talk to.
You take care of yourself, and remember how much better you are then the bullies.

joann1

Thanks Girls for your advice, i work in a gp practice and its the deputy manager, i think if i had been fully fit and not having so much going on personally i would be able to handle it abit better than what i am, i have managed to get some advice off acas and my local CAB who have been great. Had to stop my lovely better half from contacting work and giving her what for..... he picked me up from work on friday and came in which he never does my heart was in my mouth....the git.

On a better note we are celebrating our 18th yr of being together on tuesday (im only 31) childhood sweethearts and still going strong

x x x

NinaKKang

I'm sorry you're going through a rough time, Joann, at work and at home. Definitely DEFINITELY put a grievance in, she can't get away with this. Even if you do leave, she'll do it to someone else.

18 years together? Fantastic - are you doing anything nice?

Nxx

joann1

Getting married in august 2013 in cyrpus (at least i'll have some relief of pain with the heat)
i think i must have had the longest engagment ever (since 1998) haha

My good friend lisa has told me and keeps telling me that i will see my day with her.....the thing is im really struggling been back at work its got me worn out and it isnt helping that she is asking me to do things that they said they wouldnt and to top it off she has changed my working hours permanantly which means when the kids are on hols i havent got childcare for the hours she wants me to work (i have always worked 1 till 6 because of this)..... i have a blue badge for obvious reasons and she keeps telling me to move my car from the disabled bay even the girls i work with have noticed that i am getting singled out ARGHHHHHHHHH

God the joys of being an adult!!
x x x x

julie47

Hi joanne

Don't really know what to say except I am so sorry you are having a bad time at the moment and to cap it all, having to deal with a bully at work.
Hope things get better soon.

Congratulations on your 18 yr anniversary.
My OH and I were childhood sweethearts too

Love Juliepf x

tjt6768

Hi hun. Sorry to hear about this bully... You must do something about it though, don't suppose you've kept notes on any if the incidents? Diary etc...
As for telling you not to park in the disabled bay, is it a shared car park for workers & patients? If so and the disabled bay is for the patients but it's nearer than any of the workers bays for you then tough.
I think me and Ra will have to pay her a visit n duff her up a bit

Hope you don't disappear on us again, this is a good place for you to share your problems hun.

joann1

Hiya
To be honest i dont think they have ever said anything about the which disabled person can park in that bay, i just thing its the woman in question trying to be arkward with me, its the start of a new working week for me today (dont work mondays) so im hoping for a better one, the thing that they dont realize or seem to care about is that i was in hospital all afternoon/evening getting poked and prodded, blood tests taken etc to check for another blood clot as my calf has gone all swollen again yet they could not give a toss about this, they think that the operation i have had has fixed me and that is that considering i work in a gp surgery you would they the would no that it doesnt end there (especially with me).
I no that i am being pushed out but im seriously thinking of taking a year out to try and get my health back on track as this whole thing is messing with my head as well as my health.... sorry im starting to rant again

x x x x

traluvie

Hi Joan..

What an awful bully.. how dare she be like that to you,due to your health..
Like you say it doesn't help with your health all this added stress..
Can you not speak to occupational health about this?? if guidelines have been set she can get into trouble as she is not following them.. also changing your hours is unacceptable, she has a duty to be reasonable due to your children.. Although i understand it is hard, please don't let her get away with this,, she needs to be put in her place and learn that her behaviour is unacceptable and that it cannot be tolerated.. Acos and cab are good as you say.. i have used them myself in relation to work..
I wish you well and if i can help in anyway let me know..
You are not on your own..

joann1

Thankyou Tracey its good to no that there are people out there who can advise and let me no how they dealt with certain things
Jo-Ann
x

bubbadog

Hi Joann, I never thought I would talk about this, but here we go! I was sevearly builled in school to the point one day the group gave me black eyes and my mother went spare and was going to get the police involved until we found out the main bullies father was the sargent at the station and we had no chance! So I was allowed to study from home because it was nearly exam time. The bullying had been from the last 2 years of school! When I left school the relief was amazing, sorted college out got on the course I wanted, 1st day of college got to the course room and the bullies where on the same course! You should have seen their faces and then my face! The bullying went on through college, I was engaged then as well , so it put strain on our relationship but I was determined to finish course and get my diploma. Half way through the course one day we where have our short hand typing lesson and the teacher hadn't turned up, so while we waited for a replacement the bullies decided to give me a good 'doing over' they where bored so they smacked my head into the teachers hardwood table corner. To say there was alot of blood was an under statement. When asked who had done it no one would admit to it. I had stitches in my head. I was moved to different classes to finish the course. And after getting a job while I was still at college I managed to work and do the course and pass the diploma with distinctions!
Also I had a long engagement, 12years engaged then he plucked up the courage to set a date. Because we got a deal with our holiday to Barbados how tight is that!! It didn't matter we had the perfect day that I will never forget. I just wanted to add if you feel you need to talk to someone who understands I am here, just PM me.

frogmorton

Hi Joann

good to see you sorry l missed this :oops:

l do hope thinsg are going better for you at work. L would have advised you to go to acas too and suggest if you are not alreday doing so that you keep a note of everything date times and any witnesses.

On a brighter note l LOVED the story of you and your fiance l am toched to hear a story of young love surviving so well.

A romantic wedding abroad too...lovely

Love and hugs

toni xx

joann1

I no exactly how you feel bubbadog, it was the same for me the bullying started the last 2 years of senior school although it didnt get very physical there was alot of mental torture it was awful, i went on to have my son everything was going fine i used to see the bully around every now and again my son went to nurseryno problems there but who should happen to turn up on his first day at infant school yes the bully i couldnt believe it her daughter has been in every class with my son since, he is going into the last year juniors in september, he is fully aware of what i had to put up with aswell.
x x x

NinaKKang

Bubbadog, that's amazing for you to share such an experience in your life and for you to come out of it as you are is inspiring. Well done and thanks for sharing with us.

Nxx