The ABC of life
rondetto
Member Posts: 2,540
The ABC's of Aging... A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line! F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I is for incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L is for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow! P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new! Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears! U is for urinary; big troubles with flow; V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.
W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found. Y is another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest that I still have-- in my mind.
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, And I am keeping twenty-six doctor s fully employed!!!
H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I is for incisions with scars you can show. J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend. L is for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow! P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new! Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears! U is for urinary; big troubles with flow; V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.
W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found. Y is another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest that I still have-- in my mind.
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, And I am keeping twenty-six doctor s fully employed!!!
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Comments
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Very good, Ron! Not read your jokes for a while. Here's one I love:
A female police officer arrested a drunk man and told him "you have the right to remain silent. Anything you do say will be held against you". To which the man replied "boobs"
Nxx0 -
Oh rondetto, that is wonderful, and so apt. As for you, young Nina, that was rude! (but very funny, nonetheless!)
I have a number of very good jokes but alas . . . . . . . they are too 'rew-wood' for here. (that is my attempt at transcribing a Suffolk accent.) DDHave you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben0 -
Nina!! He he, And.....anything you say will be taken down.....knickers!!
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Thanks DD The rude jokes are the best ones, everyone knows that.
And Ron, only a problem if said female is wearing any!!
Nxx0 -
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Brilliant rondetto
loved the poem
and nina loved yr joke.
juliepf x0 -
Thanks Jules.
xxx0
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