Angry and frustrated!

magenta

Hello,

I need to let off some steam-sorry!

Went to hospital today for a follow-up appt. regarding my op on my jaw 6wks ago. Wasn't seen by the consultant that arranged the surgery. Knew then that the appointment wouldn't go well as for nearly 5yrs, the amount of drs that have seen me for the 1st time, seem to always know what's wrong with me and try to bombard me with rubbish ideas.

He hadn't looked at my mri scan (or notes, it seems)so after I told him the op hadn't worked, he said 'yes, because it's muscular pain you're having, have you ever clenched your teeth?'. I said yes, for 20yrs but that's all in my notes. 'Hmm, have you ever heard of Fibromyalgia?' Yes I replied, I have it-it's also in my notes!! You can try a splint-yep. Try eating soft food-yep. Cutting a very, very long story short, he still said it was muscular. I got upset and that's when he said he could refer me to a psychologist-'not that I think you're needing that kind of help, but if it helps with your pain etc, etc'.
He told me 'there's no magic golden pill you know' that will cure me-but I can prescribe you Methocarbamol!!! Great, more tablets!
The last straw was when he asked if I was 'down' and I asked 'why, because I'm crying because I'm so frustrated with you and the way the appointment is going?' He just looked at me blankly and then asked if I ever wanted to harm myself??????????? and started checking out my arms for cut marks.
I left feeling so angry and upset that a nurse took me into a private room to calm me down. She's told me to phone my consultants secretary tomorrow to complain. My husband is furious and he's going to help me draft a letter.
I feel so let down and angry. I feel it's been 1 step forward and 5 back-back to the beginning of all this carry on. Why do drs not look at your notes? Why just cos I'm upset, does it mean I'm depressed and why has he labelled me with being unstable?

Thanks,
Magenta x

Melrymax

Aw I am so sorry to hear that. I would certainly complain. The ward I work on it is very lucky if the notes are read ( it is very busy and mostly emergency admissions) but with a planned appointment they should be up to speed with everything. Even more so as it is a follow up.

magenta

Thanks Merlymax and Lynne,

I'm so low about this. I've just been going over and over it in my head and I can't believe some of the things he said. He said at one point, I should have a bath!!! I should run a hot bath and sit in it for 15mins before bed and I'll get a sleep. When I said I couldn't because it aggravates my neck and shoulders, he just again looked blank-' You really need to relax '-yeah, and you really need a slap!(I didn't say that).

Lynne, I also have another hospital appt. tomorrow for an ENT doc-4th appt. this week so far! I don't know how much more I can do before I give up.
I hope you are both well,

love Eileen xx

jilly

Eileen so sorry to read your post , i didnt know you had even had a op with not coming on the forum.
How dare they treat people like that , i have had all this they look for you to be depressed, I have had them say all the same things to me you finish up in tears because of frustrastion because they never listen they should have to feel the same pain and frustration as we do
Trouble is there is nothing you can do they have all the power , I hope you are feeling ok and not to upset , keep your chin up . .....jilly xxx

magenta

Hi Jilly!

How are you? How's the hot wheels?

I've had this before, the depression bit but never the self harming! He was an ar$e. I will have to phone the consultants secretary tomorrow. He was the one that done the surgery-he took one look at my mri scan and said I was definitely a case for surgery, no other option. Problem is, I don't do complaining about drs. I worry that it will affect my care but I suppose I'm not getting that right now eh?

Anyway,

I'm glad to see you posting again and hope you and hubby are well,
love Eileen x

tjt6768

Oh Eileen, I'm really sorry that I've just seen this. What a total w@+%3r...... :evil
What is this obsession they have with depression..... They seem to attribute all our aches n pains to it... I've had similar experiences. So has Janet. After losing her Dad, one GPdecided to regale us with tales of his late Brother for half an hour then told her to smile more and buy some lemons :???: :eek: :shock: I felt like smacking him in the face...

I really hope that you do get in touch with the secretary & arrange to see the original bloke hun. Best of luck...

julie47

Morning eileen

how are you today?
I was sorry to read about your appointment and how the consultant made you feel angry and frustrated.....the horrible man.

I think you are right to put in a complaint and hope that you have frafted that letter.
Take care
juliepf x

jillyb1

Just read all this , Eileen , do hope you're feeling bit better today after lots of hugs from your hubby . Do get that letter written and posted ; no one has the right to treat you in such an awful uncaring way . Jillyb

frogmorton

Oh Eileen :sad:

The most diabolical mess.....l am not suprised J is fuming :x l am too after all the time and all the appointments and all the waiting and referrals her and there and then somewhere else....

I hiope you have phoned the sec...complained and requested an appointment with the right man which J can attend with you :evil

Love

Toni xx

hileena111

What an awful an appointment and what an awful doctor..l..no wonder you are frustrated.
sending you loads of ((((((((((()))))))))))


Love
Hileena

constable

Sorry I have to posted until now. Hope that you are feeling a bit better today, and you and hubby are already composing a letter of complaint about this doctor. How dare he treat you in that fashion, has he no feelings. Well obviously not. And for the nurse to suggest to you to do this letter makes me wonder whether you are not the first.

These doctors think that they are aboved the rest of us and (as you can see) it makes me so angry.

I am sending big hugs of comfort.


Karen xx

magenta

Hi everyone and thanks for all your replies.

I've phoned the secretary and she wasn't aware of me supposed to be phoning. My consultant had been in surgery all day yesterday so he probably didn't get to speak to the nurse that spoke to me.
Anyway, she listened to everything and I said I was thinking of complaining about the dr and I didn't want to see him again. She told me that the dr was leaving in August so I'm thinking 'is it worth complaining'? By the time my complaint gets seen, he'll be away. I do think this must have happened before as the nurse was immediately advising me to complain.
Basically, the secretary is going to try and speak to my consultant tomorrow and go through everything with him and she'll phone me. I'll just wait and see.
Thanks for all your support, it means an awful lot to me,
Eileen xx

hileena111

Hi Eileen,
I think you are right about not complaining......If he's leaving in August thats not long now and it sounds like this has happened before.Maybe he's got the boot!!!!!!!
Its up to you......It might be more stress than its worth if he's leaving or would you get satisfaction out of it??

Love
Hileena

madwestie

Eileen, Sorry i have only jsut seen this I am sorry you had to go through this it does seem that some dr's and consultants seem to lack people skills ( an understatement I know).
I do agree with Hileena if he is going in August then it is a lot of extra stress for you unless you feel that it would help you to put it all down in black and white.
I would make sure that you speak to the original Consultant and that you get an appointment to see him to discuss the problem.

Try ( i know it is hard) not to let one stupid man get you down he is not worth it and you need all you strenght to fight this horrible disease.

Love Tracey

julie47

Hi tracey

I was thinking you should yes, still complain because he could be the same horrible person somewhere else......BUT... I have just read hileenas reply and think probably she is right. You do not need the stress.

I am sure you will make the right decission and I hope you get your phone call today.

Take care
juliepf x

stickywicket

I'm with madwestie and Julie, magenta. Laudable as it may be to do what you can to stop this guy messing about with other people's lives, unless you feel it would actually help you I'd just let him beggur off out of yours. You have enough pressure right now.

magenta

Hi All,

I've never been the complaining type so I was apprehensive about doing it in the first place. When they told me the dr was going back home (Canada) I instantly thought 'Nah, why bother?'
I'd thought my next appt. in October would have been with him and that's why I was going to complain-cos I didn't want to see him again.

Got my phone call. My consultant will fit me in to his September clinic and told the secretary he was sorry about what happened. I only want to get my jaw fixed!

I'll let you know what happens and thanks again guys,

Eileen xxx