not coping, :(

nearlybionic

Hi
I haven`t been on for a while as I have been trying to get my head together, unsuccessfully. I have been continuing my Hydro and although it was due to end last week, my physio has booked me more sessions as she thinks I need more, which I am glad about.
My hips are still giving me jip, and my THR side has felt `wobbly` again, which always scares me after the dislocation.
I am not sleeping well, not sure if due to arthur or my overactive mind. I have been feeling low and have had a few panic attack type episodes, which I have had in the past but not for ages. I feel on the brink of tears most of the time, and can`t talk to anyone, as there are lots of more serious things happening to others (my friends hubby recently diagnosed with inoperable cancer) , and I feel like I am being pathetic.
My hubby was officially made redundant last week and we are going to struggle financially too.
I don`t really expect any answers but just needed to off load.
NB

tjt6768

Hi NB.. You have been missed. Sorry to hear about what you are going through. I'm just about to log off as I need some more sleep. Send me a pm and we'll catch up later on eh?

Best wishes hun.

jillyb1

Oh , NB , you really are going through the mill at the moment . Can't be of much help but wanted to send love , hugs and positive vibes to you and your other half . Jillyb

stickywicket

nearlybionic wrote:

I can`t talk to anyone, as there are lots of more serious things happening to others

NB, hand on heart I think virtually every time in my life I've felt like that I've been wrong. There will always be serious things happening to others but that in no way negates what you are going through although it might make it hard for you to talk to the usual friends.

You are going through a tough time and tough times must be shared, otherwise they get tougher. Your husband has been made redundant, you're not sleeping well and feel on the brink of tears most of the time. Of course you do. You're worried and very naturally so. Hence the panic attacks.

Whatever you do or don't do I think you need to talk about this, NB. I can see you mightn't want to 'worry' your husband with it though it might be something you could work through together. (Mabe he, too, is worrying alone about the redundancy). Maybe the GP could help. Maybe another friend. Maybe - last resort - us here.

Whatever you do, please don't see this as 'pathetic' or trivial. It most certainly isn't.

Poppyg1rl

Oh NB,
What an awful time you're having! I sympathise and identify with the 'other peoples worries are much greater than mine' situation. You are going through an incredibly tough time, anyone would struggle to cope with it all, and your mind can't quite shut down at night, thing is if you get run down due to lack of sleep or flare due to stress you will be suffering even more.
Any chance you could see your GP and ask for something to help you sleep at night? If you can sort the sleepless nights out that's one worry to cross off the list. Could you and hubby get an appointment with the CAB? they'll be able to help re any benefits you could claim re redundancy.
Talk to us anytime NB, pm me if you want to chat
Sending love strength and hugs your way X

tkachev

Oh dear NB I think most people would be upset with just one of those problems but you have had a whole load dumped on top of you.
Lack of sleep can't be helping. Thinking about all the nasty problems must keep you awake. I think a trip to the GP about lack of sleep and panic attacks is an important first step. He will be able to address these.Yours fears about the hip are also not unfounded as you have had a dislocation before so you should address this too.

I do hope you can start to feel better soon but if not do come back on AC for some support.

hugs for you NB ((( )))
Elizabeth

traluvie

Hi Nb..

You have alot going on at the moment..Your concerns are just as important as anyone elses... We are here for you to unburden anytime...we no how hard things can be..
As the others have suggested i think you should see your GP for something to help you sleep, a good nights sleep makes all the difference..
I think you and hubby need to support and help eachother, he will no doubt need a shoulder to cry on like you.. and together you can fight the world..
Regarding financial help i would ring CAB and they can advise and help you apply for any benefits you are entitled to.
Sending you big hugs(((((X)))))

tillytop

I am so very sorry you are having such a rough time NB but please do not feel you are alone with it. I have been spending much time recently floundering in the mire too and feeling so alone and isolated because I don't know who to talk to. But I was encouraged by a fellow forum member who has become a very good friend to share on the forum, as you have done, and the support I received was fantastic and really helped me through the darkest days. Have you considered calling the AC Helpline? I haven't done so, but others have said how much that has helped them. Please do keep posting NB - even though we probably can't do anything, we can be here to listen and support you as best we can.

Thinking of you.

Love Tilly xxx

frogmorton

Hi Nearly

when you say all the things that have been happening around you l can see why you feel so stressed at the mo....l think l would too in your place.

Glad the physio has not finished because l would be worrying about my hip too just like you. Horrible thing to have happened....is there any way you can get it looked at to get some reassurance??

You come here and vent if you want to.....that's what friends are for....you are probably busy supporting yours and your hubby so let us support you!

Love

Toni xx

nearlybionic

Hi Tony
I have pm`d you
Thanks

nearlybionic

Hi and thanks Jilly, Sticky, Poppy, Elizabeth, Traluvie, Tilly, and Toni
I really appreciate you listening, and taking time to reply.
I know I probably do need to see the GP, but I can`t face it, not yet. If I feel as bad tomorrow, I will ring. It is hard going to talk about things like this though. It takes time to explain, but the gP`s often don`t have the time to listen, not their fault - stupid targets to meet....so many consultations in a day etc...
I am worried about my hubby too. He is a proud man and this sort of thing (redundancy) takes its toll on his pride. He has been working today, probably won`t get paid much if anything as he is showing a prospective client his work standard etc. He is a hard worker.
I wish I could increase my hours to help, but I know I am struggling with the hours I do already. And this makes me feel more useless!
Here i go again....more tears..
I will try to look in again later.
Thanks again xx
NB

ironic

Hi NB,
Of course you are at low ebb with all that is going on. It is good that you are having the extra phyiso and hydro appointments and hopefully you will be able to discuss your understandable worries about your hip.
I knew you would be putting pressure on yourself to work more hours but that is not an option at the moment and there is no way that you should beat yourself up about it. Your husband will still be in shock mode and his mind will be racing trying to think of which direction to go next. Give yourselves time to sit down and think things through.
Hang on in there flower,
Hugs to you both.
Lv, Ix

elnafinn

Hi NB

I sense the sadness and desperation in your posting and so feel for you. You have so much going on and with the latest bad news that is really a terribly hard blow for both of you and your OHs pride and sense of worth.

As you are not keen to speak with your gp yet for the reasons you have given which is very understandable, why not call the helplines here? You do need to talk and you never know, you may well feel a little lighter after speaking with them. Nothing lost by picking up the phone and dialling their number and everything to gain.

Sending you gentle hugs,

Elna x

barbara12

Hi NB
We are always happy to listen, you have had such a bad time, I think everything has suddenly hit you.
Like the others I am glad you are having more hydro...It cant do any harm.
I would certainly see your GP, and try to explain everything, I know its not always easy...but I do hope you can
Heres some hugs to be going on with (((((()))))
And you know were we are ...xx

stickywicket

NB I really feel for you. And I feel more than ever you need to talk to someone. What about Elna's suggestion of the Helpline? That seems to me to be a great idea.

It might even be that, if you still needed to see your GP it'd be easier because things would be clearer in your mind. You and your poor husband have so much bad stuff going on right now. It's no wonder your body is protesting.

Please be gentle with yourself. And don't be afraid to ask for help. We all need it at times.

nearlybionic

Hi
Thanks again everyone xx
Sticky- I have used the Helpline before and will consider it. I don`t think I could talk without tears at the moment. And to top things off tonight my back locked and I have sciatica down both legs....could really do with a nights sleep.
I will see how I feel in the morning.
Thanks xx
NB

Poppyg1rl

Hi NB,
You poor love, sciatica on top of everything else you're going through, not fair. When you feel ready, please do call the helpline, they can help even if all you do is sob down the phone, I've done it and felt so much better for talking to them even if I did cry and mumble my way through it.
But only when you're ready. I'm sending you love and Hugs NB (((()))) x

stickywicket

Morning NB. How are things today? Did you manage to sleep OK? Thinking of you.

traluvie

Hi NB,

Just was checking in to see how you were feeling this morning.. Hope you managed to get some sleep in the end..xx

barbara12

Morning NB
I am still thinking of you, dont forget we are always here if you need to talk...
and I do hope you managed some sleep
You take care

hileena111

Hi NB
I'm sorry I didnt see this yesterday.......
Dont think you are pathetic or think that others are so much worse off than you....that is silly.
What you are having to cope with is dreadful....like someone {sorry cant remember} said....that one of thiose things would knoock any of us for 6 ...{not the exact words} never mind all of them...ant now the sciatica ...I'm so sorry petal ...I just dont know what to advise......You do need to talk to someone......

Your husband....well he is proud etc and might not want to talk about it but on the other hand it might help him to get it off his chest as well....I think that we uually think that our husbands dont need to do this but maybe they do.

The Helpline.....They must be used to people sobbing when they ring them.

Us.....no matter how much you think you are "venting" go ahead.

pm.....me if you want to although I dont know that I can give much advice but i can listen

Once again I'm so sorry petal.....
Love
Hileena

stickywicket

Morning NB

Still thinking of you and hoping things are a bit better. If not, you know where to come.

frogmorton

Hi Nearly

How are you feeling today? I do hope a lot more like yourself??

By the way l rang the helpline more than once and the first time l just cried and they waited patiently. So if you want you give it a go.

Love

Toni xx

dachshund

Hi Nearlyb.
how are you feeling today they say things are sent to try us and they have all come together for you.
i sure the doctor would understand about how you feel.
i hope you can get a good nights sleep.
((((((((nearlyb)))))))) joan xx

skezier

Hi nearly,

i am so sorry to see this, you didn't need more.

Sciatica is evil but the gabapentin or preagbs are very god for it if they are suitable for you.

Was wondering how you were doing but so wish it was a bit better for you. Leaving you a bucket of extra cope, a ((((( ))))) and so much hope that it will all ease off for you soon. Cris xx

hileena111

Hi NB
Justy popping into see how you are and have you come on the forum.
Take care love
Hileena