Decoding the human genome

joanlawson

Scientists decoding the human genome have discovered that just 78 genes separate men from women. But what are they :?: Here's a few ideas to help the scientists on their way. Can you add any more ideas to the list :?:

1. Women have the Oh dear, the toilet paper is on its last sheet; must replace it immediately gene. This is entirely absent in men who have the Oh dear, Can you pass me a toilet roll, love? gene!

2. Women have a built in calendar gene - we remember birthdays, anniversaries and appointments effortlessly.

3. Men have a gene which makes them blissfully unaware of impending emotional outbursts, but which sometimes backfires resulting in the registering of physical pain.

4. Men have the shed gene, where being locked up in a small wooden structure in quiet contemplation with a collection of garden equipment counts as stimulating entertainment.

5. Men have a gene which enables them to answer any question, no matter how complex or important, with Mmm.

6. Women have the take things personally gene.

7. Women have a 'recall every outfit they have worn for the past two decades' gene. Men cannot remember what they were wearing yesterday without looking on the floor next to the bed.

8. Women are the only ones with the noticing gene - we notice when something is dirty/nearly empty/out of place and then we bring into play the doing something about it now gene!

9. Men have an anorak gene, which triggers a lecture on thermo dynamics when asked a simple question requiring a yes or no answer

10. Men speak in sentences. Women speak in paragraphs.

Joan

prefabkid47

Men have the logic gene,that's all they need.................... :shock:

frogmorton

women have the 'it must be my fault' gene

men have the 'what did you do to it' gene

Nice one Joan

joanlawson

prefabkid47 wrote:

Men have the logic gene,that's all they need.................... :shock:

Logic merely enables one to be wrong with authority.

joanlawson

frogmorton wrote:

women have the 'it must be my fault' gene

men have the 'what did you do to it' gene

Nice one Joan

Very true, Toni. Women definitely have the 'constantly feeling guilty' gene as well as the 'running round in circles' gene.

barbara12

Joan I love it....but Im a bit worried I might have a man gene....I love my little shed..

joanlawson

barbara12 wrote:

Joan I love it....but Im a bit worried I might have a man gene....I love my little shed..

That must be a mutant gene, Barbara, but it's probably quite harmless

NinaKKang

Most of the women I know have the gene which tells them that something is wrong with some part of the way they look and they are not attractive, beautiful or sexy.

A lot of the men I know have the gene which tells them that they are downright gorgeous and any woman would be lucky to have them

Nxx

joanlawson

Sad but true, Nina :roll:

joanlawson

Men use I or me when they should use we or us. Women use we or us when they should use I or me.

ichabod6

You didnt list women's "envious" gene.

tjt6768

Wimmin are born with the 'look at me, I can open carrier bags & bin liners with ease' gene....

Whereas Menfolks are born with the 'I'm not afraid to drive down a motorway' gene, plus the 'I can reverse park easily' gene...



I know which I'd rather have..

frogmorton

Oh no :shock:

l too have a mutant gene Joan :shock:

l can reverse park better than anyone (see l didn't say 'man' )

But Tony yuo are so right about carrier bags

Love

toni xx

prefabkid47

men have the 'I can stick to the shopping list' gene and wimmen have the 'does this make my bum look big' gene