Petition for NO MORE

NinaKKang

We all know what's been going on here recently - there has been a lot of arguing, falling out and general nastiness, not the usual banted we normally have on here. If we're not careful the forum will change for good and we'll lose our friends and the support we all get from this.

I'm not here to point the finger or blame or even try to explain what's happening. I just want it to STOP. No more "getting back" at people or trying to prove or disprove what someone else is saying. Aside from it being upsetting and annoying when threads are taken over with the same arguments, it's also very boring.

So please post your thoughts on here if you agree.
Ta
Nina XX

barbara12

Its a yes for common sense....good thinking Nina...of course it had to be a women..

NinaKKang

chris7

Hi Nina

I do so agree with you but sadly the forum changed some time ago, when I and many other regular posters on CC left in disgust, in the knowledge that the "untouchable one" can do exactly as he pleases to amuse himself and will continue to do so.

I too wish that I had not lost many friends and the support here, and just wanted to speak up for those who long since gave up on this site or the forum as a whole because of the regular attempts at provocation which can lead to the upsetting atmosphere you speak of.

I believe in this instance one forum member made his views clear but was ignored, I regret your plea for common sense will go unheeded but thanks for trying.

Take care
Chris

coco67

im afraid to say it but chris is right. and as long as it continues this place will go down hill even further.

Poppyg1rl

We should all know how to behave ourselves, everyone is entitled to opinion, and we should accept that. We may not always agree with all that is said, but we should be mature enough to respect that.
Come on people, as in the infamous words of Brian in the film 'The life of Brian' "surely we should be united against the common enemy" in this case blasted Arthritis not the Romans
Much Love, Peace and Harmony to all Xxx

ichabod6

Who is the untouchable one?

constable

I only started here in February and i has been a godsend for me, I was going to leave then decided (with help) to stay. Everyone should be able to get on and be considerate of others. Most of us are.

Karen xx

valval

chris7 wrote:

Hi Nina

in the knowledge that the "untouchable one" can do exactly as he pleases to amuse himself and will continue to do so.

I too wish that I had not lost many friends and the support here, and just wanted to speak up for those who long since gave up on this site or the forum as a whole because of the regular attempts at provocation which can lead to the upsetting atmosphere you speak of.



Take care
Chris

this is just carrying it on please do not let us start on here as well we all need this forum and need to get along together i know it hard as we are all so different but we do have arther in common and that enough for any one to fight against val

chris7

Hi Val

I'm sorry you felt it necessary to edit my post in your quote here when the first line of which and the last was particularly pertinent to this thread Nina felt compelled to start.

You are indeed right "we all need this forum" and it is sad that some members particularly newer members are expected to leave quietly and without fuss when they and I, as I commented earlier would have appreciated the continued support and companionship. I have missed posting on chit chat but have accepted that some things will never change.

It is a very sad state of affairs when as you say we should all be battling arther together.

take care
Chris

coco67

it is very sad, i used to feel a lot less alone dealing with arthur when i joined here but now its like treading treacle in a lot of areas, hard going and not very pleasent.

valval

coco you are right and it makes us all uncomphy do not let it put you off please val

dreamdaisy

One thing mystifies me. We all share a common problem, we are all affected to differing degrees but we all understand the difficulties we face. That, however, does not mean that we are all bound to be bosom pals all the time. We can't be. We only know of people what they type, we think we have an understanding of characters and personalities but actually we don't, all we have is our own take on how someone writes. Someone once used this analogy of the forum to me: it was viewed as a huge house, many rooms, larger ones, smaller ones, all occupied with arthritics and a huge number of conversations going on all the time. As I see it, people wander from room to room, join a discussion, maybe have a small tiff then wander off; surely if they don't like the rows in the corner they can go and talk to those who aren't arguing.

Leaviing the forum because of others' fallings out is ludicrous. It doesn't help the life and freshness of the forum, it doesn't help to keep things on a more even keel, it deprives the leaver of help and support (tho that is their choice by leaving), other people are entitled to their opinions (though it seems to me that some seem to think they are more entitiled than others) but isn't that just life? I am sure we all have people in our 'real' lives that we purposely avoid, don't talk to much, I know I do. It's easy enough to ignore those on here that wind one up, I learned that lesson early on in my membership here, and it's still a useful one. None of us are more special than ony one else on here. We have a disease common. That's all. DD

chris7

Dear mystified DD

I am bamboozled too, :???: it would appear that one member of the forum has been issued with a formal warning and two week suspension for reasons which baffle me!? I must clearly have missed something somewhere, which is entirely possible? Perhaps more than one member has received such a warning, but I personally have my doubts on that one and would be glad to be enlightened? Though who knows I may now get a warning too for such a audacious comment.

I would personally find it hard to as you say "to avoid someone" who appears to be setting out to provoke, and have sympathy for anyone who felt it necessary to defend themselveses in that position, but then what do I know? I have had these dilemmas once before as you know and will no doubt have them again in the future. What is that quote along the lines of "history repeats itself, it has to no one listens!"

In the meantime we can all rest assured that action has been taken and we are all safe to post as and when we feel so inclined which is good news for everyone. Hope you feel a little better after your hol.
take care
Chris

NinaKKang

Thanks for your votes and messages everyone. I tried :sad:

Nxx

rugbygirl

Having missed a lot of the forum as of late I am completely oblivious to what has been going on but I for one will say that DD is right. We cant all be expected to get on with everyone because of the one common element of arthur, however at the same time we are mostly adult here and we should behave as such. If we dont want to be drawn into a discussion that we are uncomfortable with, then we should avoid it. If we are interested in certain discussions then join in. No one is telling us who we have to talk to. If I dont like things being said then I wont post, the same as if I dont know someone because they are new to the forum, I tend to see how things flow with them before I start writing.

It can be the same with other forums. For example I use a recycling forum local to me and most people will offer and then request but there are those chosen few who decide to request all the time and expect people to part with things to help them out. I wouldnt mind if it was things that were in the way for me but things like 'its my sons/daughters birthday and I need the following' then continue to list presents, party favours, banners etc. It is just not good manners and in my opinion too many people are about for free handouts when the most important thing in life is good manners! They cost nothing and if we cant use manners then we shouldnt be on here where things can be misread and misunderstood because we dont see/hear the other person and how they are actually saying something.

Sorry guys off my soap box now. Didnt mean to offend anyone

Poppyg1rl

You did Nina, and I for one am very grateful. You know what? people are all different and I know there are arguments and disagreements from time to time BUT, I wouldn't be without this forum I LOVE coming here and having a good chuckle at Rons jokes! reading in utter wonderment when Mel vents his spleen :shock: hearing about people's day and what they've been up to, bring able to offer advice if I can and Tony's music thread is a joy so come on people, we are lucky to have this forum, and lucky to have each other.
Thankyou everyone for making my first year of Arthritis a little more bearable Huge hugs to all Xxx

ichabod6

For rugbygirl

The first paragraph of your post is the most sensible and
understanding statement made on this or any post on this
site for a long long time.

mig

what ever or who ever is upsetting the forum must stop it ,i have not been a member too long but it has lifted a load off my mind, isnt that what we are all about :!: Mig

lupin15

dreamdaisy wrote:

One thing mystifies me. We all share a common problem, we are all affected to differing degrees but we all understand the difficulties we face. That, however, does not mean that we are all bound to be bosom pals all the time. We can't be. We only know of people what they type, we think we have an understanding of characters and personalities but actually we don't, all we have is our own take on how someone writes. Someone once used this analogy of the forum to me: it was viewed as a huge house, many rooms, larger ones, smaller ones, all occupied with arthritics and a huge number of conversations going on all the time. As I see it, people wander from room to room, join a discussion, maybe have a small tiff then wander off; surely if they don't like the rows in the corner they can go and talk to those who aren't arguing.

Leaviing the forum because of others' fallings out is ludicrous. It doesn't help the life and freshness of the forum, it doesn't help to keep things on a more even keel, it deprives the leaver of help and support (tho that is their choice by leaving), other people are entitled to their opinions (though it seems to me that some seem to think they are more entitiled than others) but isn't that just life? I am sure we all have people in our 'real' lives that we purposely avoid, don't talk to much, I know I do. It's easy enough to ignore those on here that wind one up, I learned that lesson early on in my membership here, and it's still a useful one. None of us are more special than ony one else on here. We have a disease common. That's all. DD

I must agree with this. I have been on another forum for another condition and they voice their opinion ...... so what happens on this site is MILD. It takes all sorts to make the world go around and that pleases me greatly ...what a boring world this would be if we all thought and said the same things, agreed with each other. I do however understand that if you are having a bad day..... people are generally more sensitive to comments made. Isn't great that we have the freedom to speak our minds and place posts like this ...great to be British.This site is brilliant and may it continue..

NinaKKang

Thanks for your posts, everyone. This has been really successful and, I think, everyone has contributed to remind us of why we're all here: common pain and friendship.

Nina X