I was visited last night by the GRIM REAPER...

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sbolam
sbolam Member Posts: 374
edited 1. Aug 2011, 06:42 in Community Chit-chat archive
but I fought him off with a vacum cleaner.....


Few...


Talk about Dyson With death :lol:
04_pain.jpg

Comments

  • NinaKKang
    NinaKKang Member Posts: 663
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    ALL the best jokes are puns - love it! :D
    Nxx
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    wondered what this was going to say thankgoodness was not negative. made me smile thanks val
    val
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    You think that's bad....

    Last night my wife was counting through the copper in the penny jar when she just burst into tears...
    I think she's going through the change....




    The other day I was at the petrol station when I started sobbing, I couldn't help it, I just started to fill up...
    :grin:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I walked past a gang of youths yesterday and one of them threw a piece of cheese at me, which hit me on the back of the head. I turned round and shouted, "That's not very mature!"

    I used to like Russian dolls until I realised they were full of themselves!

    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

    I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

    Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.

    Joan
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • sbolam
    sbolam Member Posts: 374
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I just got a letter back from Screw Fix..... It says they regret to inform me they are not a Dating Agency!!!!
    :lol:
    04_pain.jpg
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    :lol::lol:

    you all made me smile thankyou
  • prefabkid47
    prefabkid47 Member Posts: 1,316
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    just come out of hospital after having a neck fusion............I've never looked back!
    ''Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy''. Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I had curried pelican at the local Indian Restaurant last night, meat was delicious, but the bill was enormous!! :grin:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    In a recent survey it was found that six out of seven dwarves aren't happy!! :eek: :lol::lol:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    you mad beggars.... I love um :lol::lol::lol:
    Love
    Barbara
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    My Wife said to me this morning..
    "You're the laziest bugger I've ever known, pack your bags & leave"

    I said "You pack em!"


    Lol
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I've just tried to buy tickets for an Elvis tribute act. Right nightmare, it was on an automated telephone system. I had to press 1 for the money...2 for the show..!
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Local police hunting the 'Knitting-Needle Nutter',who's stabbed six people in the ar$e in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some sort of pattern !
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Did you hear about the dyslexic Yorkshireman?
    He was found wearing a cat flap :shock: :grin:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Police have found some naked photos of Miss Piggy in Kermits garden pond. They think its frogs porn :eek: :eek: :lol:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • sbolam
    sbolam Member Posts: 374
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I bought a wig yesterday..I swear its made of **** hairs...as the thing kept blowing off.... :lol:
    04_pain.jpg
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

    It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

    Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

    When the wheel was invented, it caused a revolution.

    When they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart.

    The Buddhist refused pain-killers during the root canal because he wanted to transcend dental medication.
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • sbolam
    sbolam Member Posts: 374
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    i used to work as a mime, It only now i can talk about it.

    I used to make shoes for clowns..thats no small feet.

    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
    04_pain.jpg
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