where's tony

constable

Hi all,

Where's Tony, haven't seen him on here for a little while, is he ok, or maybe on holiday.

Karen xx

jillyb1

Maybe they're having a few days holiday ; miss his zany humour . Jillyb

bubbadog

Tony's in Skegness for a week or two! Still keeping us upto date on what he's upto and Ra's stories!

joanlawson

Well we only think he's in Skegness. It could be just a cover story put out by Ra. Perhaps they're both on a secret mission to save the world, the universe, and everything, for all we know :!: That cat's capable of anything :!:
Tony's pretty fantastic too :!:

constable

Thanks for that, you know what it's ilike you always see someone then wonder where they've gone.

Karen xx

limpinglenny

I found Tony's posts by accident and he is very witty, I think he has a fan in me.

I understand what you mean Karen about always seeing someone and the next day they have gone.
Like my uncle Benny he went out to get a paper and my auntie Betty I know Benny & Betty sounds like comedians. never saw him for 3 years, he had moved in with a woman called Rita in another town and had two kids with her. It wasn't until she filed for divorce on the ground of abandonment that a friend met him working in the prosthetic department of that towns hospital that my auntie found out. She still went through with the divorce. This all took place in the late 1970's.
OK I know its not all that interesting but maybe to some :shock:

LL! X

constable

Oh Lenny

I Know that you are newbie but I have to say, you do make me chuckle, thanks for that.

Hopefully see you around the forum again.


Karen xx

dreamdaisy

del, del, you know perfectly well. (Ooooh! Po-try!)

Tony is indeed in Skeggy - well, that's what I believe anyway!

Hello LL (limpinglenny) - I loved that little story, it's amazing what some folk get up to isn't it? Thank you for the tale. DD

barbara12

Thought it was quiet... hope they are having a good time wherever they are..

joanlawson

Do you think Tony's ears are burning because we're talking about him behind his back :?: ( all nice comments, anyway :!: )

limpinglenny- I liked your poignant little tale of Betty and Benny. It sounded like a classic Alan Bennett story, even down to the names and the fact that Benny was discovered working in the prosthetic department among all the artificial limbs. Rita obviously had something which poor Betty didn't :!:

Joan

limpinglenny

Rita had a wooden leg which unscrewed and she kept her bottle of gin and Benny's prophylactics when they went out for an evening in their Morris Minor.
I sure they met when Benny was carving her a new leg one with her favourite scene from when Red Butler couldn't be giving a damn.
Poor auntie Betty, was left a old guitar and an empty bottle of booze (keep guessing) and in a run down council house at the back of the gas works. Auntie Betty had to break a promise she made to her self when she married Uncle Benny in 1959 after a quick fling, Uncle Benny was Scottish, she promised that she would never work again and live off her husband, unfortunately she had no choice and he got a job in Ticklers Jam Factory.

The Jam Factory was just down the road from the soup factory, the soup factory once burst its boilers and gallons of hot soup come running down then hill, Grandad ran out the house to get some for his lunch but all he could find was a colander and a fork.
He worked years as a wringer outer for a one armed window cleaner he use to help to wring out the shammy, he was always an unlucky man, my Grandad, he got a nettle rash from a Loofah and he was so shocked about it he slipped to the deep end of the bath and drowned.

Anyhow back to Auntie Betty, she got a job in the jam factory as a pip picker and she worked in the part of the factory that made the seedless jam and along with 19 other women she had a pair of tweezers they picked the pips out of the pulped berries as it past on a conveyor belt and between the pulp coming they used to charge for to pluck your eye brows, there used to be a long line on a Friday afternoon and the 20 women used to do pluck the eye brows for 2/6 and for an extra shilling they would style your hair and set it with a comb dipped in the pulp that dropped on the floor. That all stopped when they brought in hair nets but the plucking carried on. The women won the initials PPP (Plucky Pip Pickers)

Auntie Betty had a quick affair with the assistant factory manager but it didn't last long, he died after he fell into a vat of raspberry jam and it took the funeral home 3 days to get the pips out of his bits but he had a very healthy glow about him, his widowed wife said its the best she has ever seen him. She said that in his will that he was to be buried with half the family wealth so his widow wrote him a cheque and tucked it into his breast pocket.

Auntie Betty lives on her own now, with a poodle called Bullet, don't ask me why and 8 cats. She makes extra money by plucking eyebrows and the occasional Brazilian, the only skill she picked up in her only job. She is now know locally as the Top and Bottom woman, or "Ya know the woman that stinks of pee and cat but does a cool job of your eyes innit"

LL! X

joanlawson

Thanks limpinglenny, that really made me laugh out loud :!:

Please can we have an Auntie Betty thread :?: I'm a fan of hers now

tjt6768

:shock: My God.. What's all this? Lol

Sorry but this really is a fleeting visit.. I'm shattered.. Been trying to fit a new sink in for mi mum, hers broke... That's fun when you're already in pain n your hands hurt... But it's for mi ma.. Lol

Thanks for the concern folks... Cheers to the newbie too..
Liking the tales mis-fortune, cheating and skullduggery etc.. Your family sounds like mine, are we related? Lol


Yes folks, I'm in Skegness, well, I'm really on a secret mission to terminate john prescott, but I am not allowed to talk about that..

Signal ain't great and dad being dad had forgotten his wifi password.

I'll pop in when I can, but I'm going to try and tile the bathroom around the sink we've fitted tomorrow... I'll do owt for mi mum..

Goodnight folks

joanlawson

There, I said your ears would be burning, didn't I Tony :?:

It's lovely that you are doing the sink and tiles for your Mum, but take care not to overdo things, won't you? It's not that long since your op, so you don't want to set yourself back. Have a good time with plenty of rest too ( that's an order :!: )

tjt6768

well at least I don't need to wear ear muffs :shock: :shock:
Leave you lot to your own devices for a couple of days n you all stay talking about me :eek:

I'm still in bed at the minute, totally jiggered after yesterday. Don't think I'll be tiling today, lol

Wish that the signal was better, I keep getting booted off..

Hope we are all ok today? Weather had certainly changed here, it's what my Dad likes to call Eastenders weather......
...
..
.
DULL & OVERCAST!!!
:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

tjt6768

Well I can't lay here any longer, all I can hear is mi Dad shouting at himself, he's making a loaf & he's just knocked the whole thing over... Lol, bless him.. I've gotta get outta here..

I'm getting dressed, bugger resting, I've rested enough.. Gonna go meet mi Ma & Janet in town, get some tiles maybe...

Laters peeps

tjt6768

Well... I came to skeg for a rest. Mums bathroom sink ended up broke, we bought her a new one, n mi uncle fitted it... Then because the old was in a unit, the lino had been cut around it.... We'd bought her a proper sink & pedestal.... So.. I ended up buying floor tiles, then with the new tiling, that made the rest look tatty.. Bought paint, paper... So today, I've done the glossing, re-grouted the tiles. Tomorrow is another day. The walls need painting, also the feature wall needs papering.
It is killing me but it's for mi mum so I'll recover. Lol

Hope everyone is ok

Might be around tonight

valval

you only have one mum tony you look after her and give her a big hug val

tjt6768

Cheers Val.
I'll do whatever I can for mi folks.. I know we are skint, but so are they. And it's only money, lol

I hope everyone is alright this evening..?

I'm in so much self inflicted pain.. Only here till tuesday lunch time. Got the emulsioning and wallpapering to do. :roll:

joanlawson

Ah Tony, you are such a good son to your Mum. I'm sure that she appreciates all your hard work, and her bathroom will be transformed by the time you have finished.

I hope that you will manage to get some rest too eventually though, and that you haven't overdone it after your op.

Good luck with the decorating :!:

tkachev

Tony you are a star doing all that for your family. I have new bathroom floor tiles. I bought them about 5 years ago and still waiting for them to be laid.


Elizabeth

valval

tkachev wrote:

Tony you are a star doing all that for your family. I have new bathroom floor tiles. I bought them about 5 years ago and still waiting for them to be laid.


Elizabeth

tony will do them lol

constable

Tony

It's lovely to hear how much you love your mum and dad. But you'll need a holiday to get over all the work your doing. I have new shelves waiting to go up been waiting six months, bedroom needs clearing, thats been a year, how do you feel about popping down here for me

Karen xx

barbara12

Hi Tony do you do plastering.... you see to your mum and dad wish I had mine...bless you I am sure they appreciate it..
And then rest.....

tjt6768

Hi folks, so sorry that I have been awol.. Had zero internet signal in skeg for some bizzare reason..


So.... I will start a new thread in a minute..

tjt6768

rehab44 wrote:

tjt6768 wrote:

Hi folks, so sorry that I have been awol.. Had zero internet signal in skeg for some bizzare reason..


So.... I will start a new thread in a minute..

Skeggie is a bizarre place at the best of times

You are not kidding, they have a better class of numpty than any other place I know :shock: