Who decides if you are disabled?

kev4

I had to fill in a form recently and one of the questions was,

Do you regard yourself Disabled?

I just didn’t no how to answer it, who decides if you are disabled?

stickywicket

kev4 wrote:

Do you regard yourself Disabled?

The key's in the question, Kev4. Do you regard yourself as disabled? It's not asking if you are registered disabled or get any disability allowances or use disability aids. Think hard about it. It was a huge step for me to admit I was disabled. I was using wrist splints, knee splints, surgical shoes, kitchen gadgets, all sorts of stuff and still trying to tell myself I was basically OK, just needing a bit of help here and there. It seemed like I was crossing an enormous chasm by admitting to being disabled but there was also a sense of relief that I could stop pretending. I hope you make what, for you, at this point in time, is the right decision.

dreamdaisy

I think we have to decide for ourselves. Am I disabled? Yes. It is no big deal. What makes me so? It's simple, I cannot live as others do. I can't walk without crutches, I can 'walk' for about five minutes before a nice sit down is required, I cannot stand to do basic household chores so yes, I think I am. I am not bothered by it. I think it is a matter of coming to terms with it for oneself, as sticky so accurately pointed out. DD

dachshund

Hi Kev.
i think people want to get on as best as they can and they can do it better with aids that help thats good because there is not always other people around.
joan xx

hileena111

Hi Kev,
Yes it is hard to know......do YOU consider your self disabled.....for ages I didnt....I dont receive DLA or anything like that....my blue badge is the most i have so I would have said NO I dont consider myself disabled. I was in denial for a long time.....not letting the OT help me by giving me gadgets etc
Now if I fill a form in like that I accept that I am disabled although I still dont get DLA but cant do things other people do or at the speed they do things at. I quite happily accept any help from the OT now and think of them as "coping mechanisms" not as giving in

Love
Hileena

constable

I had to answer that question on my pre-op assessment, and I didn't know what to put. The nurse explained it was how I see my self, so I answered yes.


Karen xx

weejean

Hi Kev

It is so hard to think of yourself as disabled as there is a bit of a stigma with the word. For years I would never say it and if someone else suggested that I was disabled then I would be offended. I eventually came to terms with my illness and realised that I was disabled as I couldnt do things the way other people did and I needed help with a lot of everyday tasks. It was the best thing that could have happened, my disabilities are a part of me and make me the person I am. I am disabled and to be honest am now proud of it instead of trying to deny it. The only person who can decide whether you are disabled or not, is you. Take care xx

rugbygirl

Hi Kev

I think the answers you have been given here are the right ones. There is a huge stigma about being disabled because we have always been able bodied. Then this disease comes along for us to deal with and we start to think differently. I used to think (when I was a lot younger) that being disabled meant something like having two heads or not being able to speak/move without help. I didnt want to admit that I was disabled but when I thought about it - I cant do the things I wanted to do easily, I need help to get about and I need to deal with this.

If I admit to myself that I am disabled then I am able to get the help that I need and there is more of an understanding if I cant do something. I am not relying on handouts and support but I am not going to hide the fact that I am not in the position to do things as easily as anyone else.

By saying you are disabled just lets others know that you arent quite as capable as others.

valval

the answer for me is no, so far mainly under control do have to plan ahead and take medication but can lead fairly normal life. i know that will not be long term but because the rhummy gave me meds that help early on with luck dammage will be far in the future, no benifits or badges just work so far val

skezier

Hi Kev,

Welcome to the forums, I hope you will find it helpful. Anyway they are a good lot here.

I agree you decide really... they might check you out and see if you actually meet their criteria but it you who has to answer....

Its hard but I guess if you have trouble dong the ordinary things in life and are finding aids are usefully then the answer is yes....

but to say yes is so hard......

Years back they pulled you in and gave you a medical and then registered you as disabled. You got a green card and a % of disability.... I don't think that happens anymore though....

I honestly don't knon cus my green card was meant to help me find work but it never did so I went self employed and forgot about it....

Seriously if you need any help with ordinary day to day thing, including walking, then you should probably day yes.

Nice to meet you. Cris x

kev4

Thanks for the help

I think I no the answer, just reluctant to accept it.

frogmorton

That'll be you Kev.

Give it some thought....how you are affected in day to day life, what things you are prevented from doing (stairs etc) and then - if you need to take the plunge

We will hold your hand if it helps??

Love

Toni xx

dachshund

Hi Kev
i think being disabled to me is someone who needs aids to help me do things.
i was born with cerebral palsy and so my life to me as been ok
our parents said you were born life this so do as best as you can
we (sue) ran a riding school for disabled for over 30 years it was not till i had arther that it changed.
i would say life is what you make it just do as best as you can
and then its worth it.
joan xx

weejean

kev4 wrote:

Thanks for the help

I think I no the answer, just reluctant to accept it.

Kev, your almost there. You know the answer deep down, it just takes time and a bit of courage to accept it. You will be fine and we are all here supporting you through everything. Sending you hugs x

Colin1

YOU MATE
COLIN

hileena111

I know it is really you yourself that should decide.
I struggled at the beginning and kept saying I am not disabled and not accepting help from the OT or anyone else.
I still dont think of myself as disabled but I'm afraid I've got to the stage of filling in forms....I write disabled.....I discoveed how much it helped me....getting things from the OT etc.
I dont think of myself as disabled.....I dont get DLA and only use a stick occasionally when its needed but other people knowing i have arthritis and cant do things they can do or at the speed they can do them has made life a lot easier.
I'm sorry thats a bit contradictory but difficult to explain how you feel sometimes
Love
Hileena

frogmorton

It is tricky

at one time you used to get 'registered' disabled by Social Services in my area.

They used to fill in forms and register you and it was a passport then to getting thinsg like free taxi tokens/VAT exemption. So there was a clear route to go down.

Now it is as you say Hileena, a personal choice and likely a gradual acceptance.

Love

Toni xx

theresa4

The social service thing stopped when being labelled was considered a burden, cruel, pidgeon holing people, limiting choices jobs etc..
You decide now as its your choice you have the power. unfortunatley not accepting that status means you pay VAT on items you buy to aid your everday life and limit yourself to other things you are entitled to as disabled.
I have to admit the first time I clicked yes when I was oredering some kitchen aids it was quite upsetting but it made a big difference to what I was paying and being at the time on sick every penny counts (little did I know Id never go back to work). Now its just a word it means I have some limitations and need an extra hand sometimes.
When youre ready it will come.

Theresa xx

bubbadog

It took me along time to admit to myself that I was disabled, it was a case of splitting the word dis-abled I was no longer fully abled to walk without help, I couldn't do certain things I was abled to do because of my illness hence I was disabled and then I had to except it.