Friend In Need

elainebadknee
elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
edited 17. Aug 2011, 06:52 in Community Chit-chat archive
Hi

Im a bit hacked off with someone who ive only just got back in contact with after being at school with years ago....We have previusly been out for a couple of days and had good times...But then arranged another one and this got cancelled at 11.00am when were due to go out at 12.30...They said they were too tirred as they are an me sufferer, had done too much and as it was rotten day anyhow just dismissed it....
Get this, my car broke down yesterday, am on my own had to call out AA...Sent a text to said person just asking if can get me some bits if near a shop...That was at 2pm....Never heard a thing till after 6pm, saying sorry been at mates all day....Then on another site out till 2am....Have also offered some plants and said if they wanted them to come for them whether im in or not...
Feel like this was a brush off, text didnt even ask had i got home okay or nothing and this person claims not to have a social life, hardly ever gets out or goes anywhere...Funny that would seem to be doing plenty of that this week? Im quite annoyed cos thought this person genuine and now think not so.....Tempted to delete from phone and networking site.....
Dont get me wrong id do anything to help someone out and i felt as if this isnt reciprocated...I mean wouldnt one just answer message saying hope you get on okay re car, sorry am away??
Im kind of sorry i got back in touch right now and feel my trust has been once again taken for a ride...

Elainex

Comments

  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Elaine
    Im sorry to hear this, I know you both seemed to be enjoying the walks.
    Just an hunch, maybe she was finding the walks a bit to hard, its not nice how she has let you down like this, but if I was you, just send another text and say that you will understand if it was the walks, or if not could she be honest with with you , and say what it really is, and that you would understand.
    I do hope you resolve things rather then break the friendship.
    Love
    Barbara
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Barbara

    I cant really be bothered with all that...Im just going to ignore it for a bit and not suggest any more times to go out.....Leave it to her, if she is knackered fine but its obvious she isnt and was telling fibs.....Not nice...

    Elainex
    barbara12 wrote:
    Hi Elaine
    Im sorry to hear this, I know you both seemed to be enjoying the walks.
    Just an hunch, maybe she was finding the walks a bit to hard, its not nice how she has let you down like this, but if I was you, just send another text and say that you will understand if it was the walks, or if not could she be honest with with you , and say what it really is, and that you would understand.
    I do hope you resolve things rather then break the friendship.
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Elaine,

    I'm sure she has problems with the M.E and finds she has to let people down on a regular basis but I also know it is so frustrating to have last minute arrangements changed.I think its best to ignore them for a while and see what happens and let the make the effort. There's only so much effort you can make and you have done your bit.

    Hope you well and good luck with the diet Elaine,

    Elizabeth xx
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Elizabeth

    Well she has issues with her illness i know that but dont say youre too tired then be out all weekend plus ignore important messages! Plus there is moans of not enough money for stuff but still smokes and has had a holiday too...More than some...
    Im gonna leave it tired of being a doormat...

    Elainex
    tkachev wrote:
    Hi Elaine,

    I'm sure she has problems with the M.E and finds she has to let people down on a regular basis but I also know it is so frustrating to have last minute arrangements changed.I think its best to ignore them for a while and see what happens and let the make the effort. There's only so much effort you can make and you have done your bit.

    Hope you well and good luck with the diet Elaine,

    Elizabeth xx
  • NinaKKang
    NinaKKang Member Posts: 663
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    My gut instinct is to do the same, Elaine, and just leave it. Life's too short to spend it trying to fathom out people who are a drain on your energy and happiness.

    Nxx
  • joann1
    joann1 Member Posts: 263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    This sounds all to familiar Elaine...Had a few friends like that...your there for them when they need you but when it comes to you needing them its a completely different story...my better half always tells me im a soft touch and people no that.. i tend to disagree with him although in the end i always seem to be papped on!

    Jo-Ann
    Jo-Ann
  • dfawke
    dfawke Member Posts: 19
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    we have all had funny mates like that, lifes tough enough so dont let this get you down.
    good mates make the effort to stay in your life and vice versa, the bad ones just filter out.
    so just see how things go with your new found friendship and wait to see if she contacts you.
    good luck donna x
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Nina

    Im kinda tempted to delete phone no and facebook as that was how we got in touch .....I hate being treated like this...

    Elainex
    NinaKKang wrote:
    My gut instinct is to do the same, Elaine, and just leave it. Life's too short to spend it trying to fathom out people who are a drain on your energy and happiness.

    Nxx
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jo-Ann

    Well im afraid i dont suffer things like this gladly....Have cut quite a few people out of life but will say they have to do something quite severe for me to do that....
    I cant be doing with this...

    Elainex
    joann1 wrote:
    This sounds all to familiar Elaine...Had a few friends like that...your there for them when they need you but when it comes to you needing them its a completely different story...my better half always tells me im a soft touch and people no that.. i tend to disagree with him although in the end i always seem to be papped on!

    Jo-Ann
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Donna

    Well no cos didnt get in touch till few months ago and can do without people like that again quite nicely thank you!!
    Wont hold my breath waiting for contact...

    Elainex
    dfawke wrote:
    we have all had funny mates like that, lifes tough enough so dont let this get you down.
    good mates make the effort to stay in your life and vice versa, the bad ones just filter out.
    so just see how things go with your new found friendship and wait to see if she contacts you.
    good luck donna x
  • joann1
    joann1 Member Posts: 263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I dont blame you Elaine, some things just need to be done, you will probably feel alot better for getting rid, sorry if that sounds harsh, but you no what i mean
    Jo-Ann
  • NinaKKang
    NinaKKang Member Posts: 663
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Nina

    Im kinda tempted to delete phone no and facebook as that was how we got in touch .....I hate being treated like this...

    Elainex
    NinaKKang wrote:
    My gut instinct is to do the same, Elaine, and just leave it. Life's too short to spend it trying to fathom out people who are a drain on your energy and happiness.

    Nxx

    If I were you, Elaine, I wouldn't delete her phone no because then you won't know if it's her calling :D God, aren't I catty! But I would go ahead and delete her off FB. Obviously, it's up to you and only you know the whole situation...

    I have a similar "friend" who was always asking for my help and said we were great mates, then she left the fire service and I didn't hear from her for ages until she needed a reference for a job! I've said I'll provide a reference (who am I to stand in the way of someone else's happiness, etc etc) but I've kept my distance otherwise. My daughters find it a bit of a relief because her young son is very naughty and used to hit and kick them (the kids on Supernanny are nothing compared to him)!

    Nxx
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well no word since sunday and knows ive had a rough time....


    Elainex
    joann1 wrote:
    I dont blame you Elaine, some things just need to be done, you will probably feel alot better for getting rid, sorry if that sounds harsh, but you no what i mean
  • elainebadknee
    elainebadknee Bots Posts: 3,703
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Nina

    Im tempted to delete from phone still and deactivate fb account but cant find out how to yet.....
    I wont say anything but i dnt need her/vice vrsa....

    Elaienx

    If I were you, Elaine, I wouldn't delete her phone no because then you won't know if it's her calling :D God, aren't I catty! But I would go ahead and delete her off FB. Obviously, it's up to you and only you know the whole situation...

    I have a similar "friend" who was always asking for my help and said we were great mates, then she left the fire service and I didn't hear from her for ages until she needed a reference for a job! I've said I'll provide a reference (who am I to stand in the way of someone else's happiness, etc etc) but I've kept my distance otherwise. My daughters find it a bit of a relief because her young son is very naughty and used to hit and kick them (the kids on Supernanny are nothing compared to him)!

    Nxx[/quote]