Be warned rant - arthritis when you gonna give me a break?

Ankyspond
Ankyspond Member Posts: 626
edited 10. Sep 2011, 13:42 in Living with Arthritis archive
Aaarrrggghhh, when is this disease gonna give me a break, I know the answer is never I just need a rant!

I know I have been back to teaching three days a week this week and stayed at my sisters looking after my nephews but they are so good and in bed early it really wasn't hard work so why, why, why do I hurt so much. I am having thatany hot flushes if I didn't have my eyes open I would think I was laid on a beach in Barbados! Every joint in my body is painful and tender, I feel like chopping my knees and ankles off, feel like I am walking on broken bones and to top it all I am so teary. I want to keep working and doing the things I do so I pop the pills and inject myself but to no availl when it wants to flare I don't get a choice. Same old nobody really knows cos the mask comes on especially at work (a teacher who can't do her job wouldn't have a job) and at home don't want the kids to see how bad I feel as my daughter is worried she will get it anyway.

Just really down guys sorry to rant but so frusterated just keep getting knocked down every tine I try to get up. Weekend will now prob be ruined as limited to what I can do just wish I could win for longer than a few days! After four years diagnosed I should be used to it by now I suppose.

Rant over, thanks for letting me blow off steam. Xx :evil
AS Sufferer
Live, love and enjoy life, live each day as though it's your last!

Comments

  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Anky I'm sorry your feeling so down and so tearful and I so know how you feel.

    Flower it will ease off, flares don't last for ever and it will pass. You have to remember that one my friend.

    Leaving you a ((((( ))))) and a hope it will ease enough to let you get some sleep. Cris xx
  • Julie10
    Julie10 Member Posts: 19
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi. I was so sorry to read your post this morning - it makes me realise that one day someone can be comforting others and the next day it is the turn of yesterday's "comforter" to suffer. I really hope you managed to sleep and that you have a better day today. I'm new to this so can't offer much but I do know the meaning of wearing a mask in school.

    Best wishes, Julie x
  • niecsey
    niecsey Member Posts: 75
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi ANky rant away!! I do it it does help :) understand how you feel lve had weeks of full on pain and never felt as low in my life.... hoping lm turning a corner now,, you do great even keeping your job!! Feel so sorry for you pain is pain at the end of the day and l know others worse off but pain is pain ans unless you experience yourself you cant understand. Thinking of you and hoping you feel refreshed soon xxx
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,154
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Rant away thats what we are here for.Mig
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi,
    You have a rant...we are here.
    I'm so thankful that my kids are grown and away from home....that sounds awful but I would hate them to be living here and see me with arthritis and be trying to hide it.
    Its only hubby I have to worry about and try not to complain toomuch in front of him.
    I'm retired and the job I do have is one i can do more or les when I like.
    I volunteer for arthritis care as well but a lot of that is ........do it when I can {within reason} LOL
    Love
    Hileena
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 30,027
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thing is Anky

    this is one of those things which gives you temporary reprieves every now and then...lulls you into a false sense of security....so l sometimes think we don't grieve totally for our 'lost' health.

    If this be the case when it hits again it is not only physical pain but emotional as well.

    I am proud of you for still being at work and looking after those gorgeous boys for your Sis. Those things actually help us mentally don't they? Distract us and make us feel good about ourselves.

    Hope this flare dies down very soon for you

    Love

    Toni xx
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi anky gosh it could have been me writting this this week have felt so down and frustrated try not to let lads know how bad it is from time to time as they worrie try not to tell oh as i always seem to be moaning to him about it bless him. but has been so awfull this week do not think the weather change has helped.
    so am leaving a bucket of ((())) to help you through can not help with arther he does have a mind of his own but sure you will batter him back down for a while val
    val
  • Ankyspond
    Ankyspond Member Posts: 626
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Cris, Julie, Niecsey, Mig, Helenna Toni and Val,

    Oh you are all so kind and full of such wise words of wisdom, thank you so much for taking the time to listen to me ranting. You are all right it comes in flares (as I well know) and its so hard to comprehend it. We all prob do too much when we feel good and then pay for it after but thats our life I suppose.

    I did have a pretty bad night's sleep last night to be honest, had the fan on all night and still fell like I was in Barbados. Been up early and took the pills its as we all know just a waiting game until it eases I suppose. Hope its in time for work again on Tuesday.

    Thank you all you wonderful people for the support it means so much to me, made me cry again. xxxx
    AS Sufferer
    Live, love and enjoy life, live each day as though it's your last!
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Arthritis give us a break? Ye gods anky, it won't do that. It loves playing with us, toying with our emotions and physical abilities, it makes us think that things are easing and luring us into feeling brighter and better then it chooses its moment and snaps its jaws around us, drawing us deep into its maw. It's a beast of a disease and this is what it does.

    What we old hands know, however, is that this will pass, things WILL ease and WILL feel better, you WILL feel better AND brighter, you WILL recover your strength for the battle and remind this beast it CANNOT have everything its own way. Take care. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Anky I really do feel for you, and so wish I could help...here are some hugs ((((())))) to keep you going...and please rant away even if it helps a little...xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • niecsey
    niecsey Member Posts: 75
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    (((((((((((((((( Hugs)))))))))))))))) xxx lm still new to this but not too pain l hope you feel better soon sweats are awful :( x
  • sarahthornton
    sarahthornton Member Posts: 44
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Anky,

    As the saying goes, it's good to talk. In times like this it is even better to rant, especially to people who understand what you are going through. I am a teacher as well and know what it is like to have to pretend in school that you are fine. We are probably too good at that, as people seem to believe us and not bother giving us any help, but that is another story.

    I hope the flare up calms down very soon and you start to feel better. Don't worry about being teary, it's better than bottling everything up. And that is what we are all here for.

    Big higs, take care

    Love Sarah xx
  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Anky I hear you!!! :cry: It is rubbish when it comes back with a vengeance. I suppose work doesn't help, then trying to be positive for others is tough. Its good to let off staem on here. I did yesterday.

    I hope you have a good weekend, despite it all and that it improves for you soon.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Anky, I think Frogmorton has said all I'd wish to say and probably put it a lot better. So.......

    .......all I can add is that, if it feels like Barbados, put on the steel drum music (for me it'd be cricket as well but we're all different), close your eyes, pour yourself a rum & coke or whatever does it for you (Actually, best do that before you close your eyes) and organise the family into cooking jerk chicken or whatever rocks your boat. I'll be round in an hour.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Anky :grin:

    I know and understand what you're going through. :eek: It's good that you've taken time to rant... because it does help to 'let go'. :wink:

    If you can, spend time this weekend doing something really nice... just for you... you so deserve it. :!:

    thinking of you and hoping you can kick arther and the horrible sweats into touch. :wink:

    Iris xx
  • Ankyspond
    Ankyspond Member Posts: 626
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you all it does make me feel a bit better reading your comments and knowing you are all with me, I will beat this flare just waiting for it to peak. Good night with the TV remote tonight and lots of Malibu and Coke. xx

    DD thank you I know you speak wise words but sometimes just gets to me the little bugger. Xx

    Thanks Barbara I am feeling the hugs you sent and appreciate them. Xx

    Niecsey thanks doesn’t how new or old the support is very much needed, my husband keeps telling me to drink plenty don’t think he quite gets it. Xx

    Sarah, its great to talk to people who understand or just let me rant as the OH sometimes gets fed up with hearing about it although I know I must be bad as he is very concerned and wants me to go back to hospital but he doesn’t understand its not that easy. Teaching is a challenge at the best of time and even more so with this disease, I teach ICT in secondary so always on my feet but do love my job. Thanks again. xx

    Suzygirl I suppose it was just my turn to let off steam, it will be somebody else tomorrow unfortunately that’s how it goes we all know that. Thanks for the good wishes. Xxx

    Sticky I think Frogmorton said it very well indeed and very accurate, prob cos like all of us been there and done that. But I am loving your idea of Barbados, gonna get the Bob Marley out later, sip some Malibu and Coke (if the painkillers don’t work that will), might even put my shorts on, don’t get an option with the cricket I am married to an Australian so cricket it law in our house. But think I might stop at putting the sun cream on, ha ha. Xx

    Dorcas, I am sorry that you know what I am going through I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, I do try to be positive but there is sometimes it just gets me. I think I am being taken out for a nice lunch tomorrow to have a really lazy day. xx
    AS Sufferer
    Live, love and enjoy life, live each day as though it's your last!
  • Ankyspond
    Ankyspond Member Posts: 626
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    skezier wrote:
    Oh Anky I'm sorry your feeling so down and so tearful and I so know how you feel.

    Flower it will ease off, flares don't last for ever and it will pass. You have to remember that one my friend.

    Leaving you a ((((( ))))) and a hope it will ease enough to let you get some sleep. Cris xx

    Cris I didn't feel as though I thank you properly this morning for your post I was half asleep, I know it will pass just want it to peak so I know I am on the right side. Frusterating that they never have a pattern, know will be asleep soon as feel so tired. Just wish I had the tan to go with the Barbados flushes, ha ha. Thanks sooooo much. xx
    AS Sufferer
    Live, love and enjoy life, live each day as though it's your last!
  • Ankyspond
    Ankyspond Member Posts: 626
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Julie10 wrote:
    Hi. I was so sorry to read your post this morning - it makes me realise that one day someone can be comforting others and the next day it is the turn of yesterday's "comforter" to suffer. I really hope you managed to sleep and that you have a better day today. I'm new to this so can't offer much but I do know the meaning of wearing a mask in school.

    Best wishes, Julie x

    Sorry I never replied fully this morning, thank you soooo much for your reply. It certainly is like taking turns to comfort each other but I suppose that the great thing about this forum that we all know what we going through and what to expect (unfortunatley). I am hoping to sleep a bit better tonight, the Malibu will help with that (will prob have headache in morning then, ha ha). We all wear masks I sometimes think I should lower mine a bit, maybe one day........ xx
    AS Sufferer
    Live, love and enjoy life, live each day as though it's your last!
  • Ankyspond
    Ankyspond Member Posts: 626
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    niecsey wrote:
    Hi ANky rant away!! I do it it does help :) understand how you feel lve had weeks of full on pain and never felt as low in my life.... hoping lm turning a corner now,, you do great even keeping your job!! Feel so sorry for you pain is pain at the end of the day and l know others worse off but pain is pain ans unless you experience yourself you cant understand. Thinking of you and hoping you feel refreshed soon xxx

    Wanted to reply properly was sleepy this morning (still am now), sorry you are feeling the same its so draining and wearing isn't it. I really hope you turn the corner and I am just behind you, would be nice if we could change the gear to make it go faster hey? Only people who understand the pain is all of us who have it unfortunatley. Waiting for it to peak so know it will ease. xxx
    AS Sufferer
    Live, love and enjoy life, live each day as though it's your last!
  • Ankyspond
    Ankyspond Member Posts: 626
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    mig wrote:
    Rant away thats what we are here for.Mig

    Thanks mig, I try not to rant to be honest like to support not rant but hey a moment of weakness got to me late last night. xxx
    AS Sufferer
    Live, love and enjoy life, live each day as though it's your last!
  • Ankyspond
    Ankyspond Member Posts: 626
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hileena111 wrote:
    Hi,
    You have a rant...we are here.
    I'm so thankful that my kids are grown and away from home....that sounds awful but I would hate them to be living here and see me with arthritis and be trying to hide it.
    Its only hubby I have to worry about and try not to complain toomuch in front of him.
    I'm retired and the job I do have is one i can do more or les when I like.
    I volunteer for arthritis care as well but a lot of that is ........do it when I can {within reason} LOL
    Love
    Hileena

    Hileena, I too am glad for you that you don't have to hide it from your kids its so hard. My daughter who is 15 really got upset last year and I took her to the consultant with me and they spoke to her about it, she has been ok since then but worries all the time. She is great and always helps me and really does know when I am bad but I don't need to tell her and make it worse. Our middle one 17 year old boy, well say no more he's a boy and although he knows and will do things if I ask him to he is busy living his life (which I love) he passed his driving test yesterday so is now driving around in his classic mini everywhere. Try not to complain to hubby much cos he doesn't really understand but even he knows I am bad now without me saying anything, thanks again. xxx
    AS Sufferer
    Live, love and enjoy life, live each day as though it's your last!
  • Ankyspond
    Ankyspond Member Posts: 626
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    frogmorton wrote:
    Thing is Anky

    this is one of those things which gives you temporary reprieves every now and then...lulls you into a false sense of security....so l sometimes think we don't grieve totally for our 'lost' health.

    If this be the case when it hits again it is not only physical pain but emotional as well.

    I am proud of you for still being at work and looking after those gorgeous boys for your Sis. Those things actually help us mentally don't they? Distract us and make us feel good about ourselves.

    Hope this flare dies down very soon for you

    Love

    Toni xx

    Toni, you have hit the nail on the head with the way in which you described it, so accurate. I did relay this to my husband earlier, not sure it went in but hey ho! I sometimes wonder for me personally which is worse the physical or emotional pain, I hate not being in control of how I feel. Thank you so much for the comment about being at work and my lovely nephews that really made me smile and I agree I think they keep us going and give us a feeling of worth and meaning. Distraction is always good, they told me get a tens machine I did and put it on my husband on high it distracted me so much everytime he screamed I forgot about my Arthritis the trouble is he won't do it anymore (how inconsiderate). xx
    AS Sufferer
    Live, love and enjoy life, live each day as though it's your last!
  • Ankyspond
    Ankyspond Member Posts: 626
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    valval wrote:
    hi anky gosh it could have been me writting this this week have felt so down and frustrated try not to let lads know how bad it is from time to time as they worrie try not to tell oh as i always seem to be moaning to him about it bless him. but has been so awfull this week do not think the weather change has helped.
    so am leaving a bucket of ((())) to help you through can not help with arther he does have a mind of his own but sure you will batter him back down for a while val

    Val wanted to reply properly I am sorry that my post reminds you of what you going through, its awful isn't it. As I just said in reply above my kids are great especially my daughter and to be honest when I am this bad I don't need to say anything they know I am bad but don't like to worry them, there is a strong chance they will get it and don't want to make it any more anxious for them. I used to think the weather made a huge difference and I still think it does a bit but I have been quite bad all summer to be fair so my jury is out on that one. Hoping it will peak soon so know I am on the right side. xx
    AS Sufferer
    Live, love and enjoy life, live each day as though it's your last!