Breastfeeding In Public

elainebadknee

Hi

Have heard about the above issue before on radio discussions and yesterday experienced it for myself..
Was sat in leisure centre reception as gym instructor was running a little late, sat on a couch, one was to my left...In walks this woman, parks her buggy next to me on couch to left, sits down and just before you know it, in full view of me (no back turned or long top to be discreet) pulls up tshirt, waps out boob.....The kid obviously wasnt too hungry as it didnt take to it or maybe it could feel my embarassment but this womans nipple was on show for about 5 mins...I couldnt move as was on a low couch and had said to reception would need help to get out, it was really uncomfortable and there was a baby and mother room available too.....
She had no consideration for other people at all and I will say I found it ignorant....I dont want to see that and certainly not at close hand with no dioscration used.....To me its as personal as deciding whether or not to go naked or not in holiday on the beach........She should have been a considerate person firstly and a mother secondly.....

Elainex

tkachev

I have got to say you would never get me doing that in public. I would just be so embarrassed. However I have seen it in shopping centres and I just ignore it.
Elizabeth

joanlawson

No offense, Elaine, but I have to disagree with you. I don't think we should feel so embarrassed at what should be a natural thing. My daughter breastfed all three of her children ( one to over a year old ) and I was often with her when she did it in public places like cafes. Sometimes there is no option if the baby is very hungry, although my daughter was always very discreet about it and tried to find a quiet corner away from other people. She also perfected a technique whereby she didn't expose her breasts to public view, so I don't think that many people would have even noticed.

Sadly, the attitude of people towards women breastfeeding often puts them off doing it, which is a shame as it's been shown to be the best thing for the baby.

I think you've got it the wrong way round- a mother should always consider her baby first and foremost, and other people afterwards.

Joan

elainebadknee

Yes Elizabeth

It is very embarassing and not consierate at all..

Elainex

tkachev wrote:

I have got to say you would never get me doing that in public. I would just be so embarrassed. However I have seen it in shopping centres and I just ignore it.
Elizabeth

elainebadknee

HI

Well sadly you have missed the whole point of my post...I said had this woman been discreet and found somewhere appropriate to do this not a problem....But she didnt and that is where my issue was.....You do not for whatever reason just wap your breast out there and then, if that was the case people would be weeing everywhere and children would not be potty trained!!!
Whatever anyone does whether it be sexual contact, breast feeding and nudity you have to consider others around you and im not changing my mind on that......

Elainex

joanlawson wrote:

No offense, Elaine, but I have to disagree with you. I don't think we should feel so embarrassed at what should be a natural thing. My daughter breastfed all three of her children ( one to over a year old ) and I was often with her when she did it in public places like cafes. Sometimes there is no option if the baby is very hungry, although my daughter was always very discreet about it and tried to find a quiet corner away from other people. She also perfected a technique whereby she didn't expose her breasts to public view, so I don't think that many people would have even noticed.

Sadly, the attitude of people towards women breastfeeding often puts them off doing it, which is a shame as it's been shown to be the best thing for the baby.

I think you've got it the wrong way round- a mother should always consider her baby first and foremost, and other people afterwards.

Joan

barbara12

Yip I agree with Joan on this one, when I had my sons it just wasn't done, so it was so hard to get out and about, I was once part of a team promoting breastfeeding...and this was the thing that put most mothers off, not being able to feed there babies outside there homes.
Although it can be done in a discreet way...ie cardigan over shoulders...or top partially undone with nothing on show.
But its the most natural thing on earth a mother feeding her baby, its just certain country's that dont see it that way....such a shame..

joanlawson

Whatever anyone does whether it be sexual contact, breast feeding and nudity you have to consider others around you and im not changing my mind on that......

I don't think you can put breastfeeding in the same category as urinating, sexual contact, or nudity in public, Elaine. All these would be offensive to other people, but women shouldn't have to feel ashamed to feed their babies in public in my opinion. In other parts of the world, it's the most natural thing, and no-one would consider it unusual or wrong, but in western society breasts have become equated with sex, which is why so many women are reluctant to breastfeed.

julie47

Elaine I am with joan on this one.

I think the lady could have probably been a little more discrete, with perhaps a long tee shirt. But I think it is lovely to see women feeding their babies in the most natural way ever.

I breast fed my daughter and there is nothing more satisfying than seeing your little one grow up and healthy and strong by you feeding them yourself Rather than buying the powdered stuff. It is a lot less hassle and cheaper and it is more relaxing and loving. I did always do it discretely.

Juliepf x

valval

yes i do feel it right to breast feed but if you or i got out breast out in public we would get arrested i do not like kissing in public either there time and place for everything and yes i did breast feed and had clothing that allowed discresion no need for everything to be on show it just showing off and seeing what they can get away with what will they be like as parents i do not want to think about val

elainebadknee

Hi Barbara

Well discretion should be in their minds and did i once say its not natural but why do it right next to people who are not expecting this....

Im not budging on this one...

Elainex

barbara12 wrote:

Yip I agree with Joan on this one, when I had my sons it just wasn't done, so it was so hard to get out and about, I was once part of a team promoting breastfeeding...and this was the thing that put most mothers off, not being able to feed there babies outside there homes.
Although it can be done in a discreet way...ie cardigan over shoulders...or top partially undone with nothing on show.
But its the most natural thing on earth a mother feeding her baby, its just certain country's that dont see it that way....such a shame..

elainebadknee

Hi

Well I can and I will be entitled to my opinion...It is a mothers decision to do this...and they still should use discretrion ie, longer coat, cardigan whatever to make this not so in your face......I am not equating it with sex, you have me totally wrong.....It is natural to those who choose to do it and I still think that being less than a metre away from myself with short t shirt is not right...I couldnt help but look and didnt want to...
I will not change my mind and expected a backlash but still stand by my right of expression of opinion.

Elainex

I don't think you can put breastfeeding in the same category as urinating, sexual contact, or nudity in public, Elaine. All these would be offensive to other people, but women shouldn't have to feel ashamed to feed their babies in public in my opinion. In other parts of the world, it's the most natural thing, and no-one would consider it unusual or wrong, but in western society breasts have become equated with sex, which is why so many women are reluctant to breastfeed.[/quote]

elainebadknee

Julie

Well i wouldnt have had a problem with that and agree its natural, the manner in which this woman did this was not natural in anyway whatsover...Im no prude or biased but you have to weigh up situations....

Elainex

julie47 wrote:

Elaine I am with joan on this one.

I think the lady could have probably been a little more discrete, with perhaps a long tee shirt. But I think it is lovely to see women feeding their babies in the most natural way ever.

I breast fed my daughter and there is nothing more satisfying than seeing your little one grow up and healthy and strong by you feeding them yourself Rather than buying the powdered stuff. It is a lot less hassle and cheaper and it is more relaxing and loving. I did always do it discretely.

Juliepf x

elainebadknee

Val

Yes if women want to breast feed then they are entitled to but I dont think as many would do this as bluntly as this woman did.....I was squirming and didnt want to be there, it was like invading her personal space cos she wasnt bothered who was looking.....
And im have rbought up the following about other things in public....Its not what you do, its how you do it...Isnt that how we all get brought up, taught how to restrain ourselves, do natural things but when its appropriate to? I think so..
Im not sorry that I posted this subject, it wasnt the nicest thing I experienced, in fact it was damn right a horrible situation to be in...

Elainex

valval wrote:

yes i do feel it right to breast feed but if you or i got out breast out in public we would get arrested i do not like kissing in public either there time and place for everything and yes i did breast feed and had clothing that allowed discresion no need for everything to be on show it just showing off and seeing what they can get away with what will they be like as parents i do not want to think about val

joanlawson

valval wrote:

yes i do feel it right to breast feed but if you or i got out breast out in public we would get arrested i do not like kissing in public either there time and place for everything and yes i did breast feed and had clothing that allowed discresion no need for everything to be on show it just showing off and seeing what they can get away with what will they be like as parents i do not want to think about val

I don't think many women flaunt their breasts on purpose when they breastfeed, Val. You might get the odd one, but I must say that I've never seen anyone doing that.

The trouble is that the baby doesn't know anything about there being a time and place for everything. When a baby is hungry, time and place mean nothing. There isn't always a convenient mother and baby room, and some women are even driven to feeding their babies in toilet cubicles because they are ashamed to feed in public. This seems very wrong to me.

Why are we so worried about the odd glimpse of a woman's breast :?: When feeding a baby, it's doing what it's intended to do after all.

joanlawson

elainebadknee wrote:

Hi

Well I can and I will be entitled to my opinion...It is a mothers decision to do this...and they still should use discretrion ie, longer coat, cardigan whatever to make this not so in your face......I am not equating it with sex, you have me totally wrong.....It is natural to those who choose to do it and I still think that being less than a metre away from myself with short t shirt is not right...I couldnt help but look and didnt want to...
I will not change my mind and expected a backlash but still stand by my right of expression of opinion.

Elainex

I don't think you can put breastfeeding in the same category as urinating, sexual contact, or nudity in public, Elaine. All these would be offensive to other people, but women shouldn't have to feel ashamed to feed their babies in public in my opinion. In other parts of the world, it's the most natural thing, and no-one would consider it unusual or wrong, but in western society breasts have become equated with sex, which is why so many women are reluctant to breastfeed.

[/quote]

Of course you are entitled to your opinion, Elaine, and I respect that even if I don't agree with you. I didn't say that you were equating it with sex, but that in our western society breasts have become equated with sex rather than the function they were intended for. This is why women are often afraid to breastfeed in public. I agree that the woman could have sat further away from you on this occasion.

elainebadknee

Well I certainly am and of course not everyone agrees....I am not of the western opinion that you quote and at the risk of sounding like a parrot "its how its done" that makes a difference...Others on here say that they have seen others do it and other members of public wouldnt know but this was so far removed from that scenario that it was unreal.....Im not even saying further away, turn your back........I was expecting her to cuddle the baby, or make a call not what she did...

Elainex

Of course you are entitled to your opinion, Elaine, and I respect that even if I don't agree with you. I didn't say that you were equating it with sex, but that in our western society breasts have become equated with sex rather than the function they were intended for. This is why women are often afraid to breastfeed in public. I agree that the woman could have sat further away from you on this occasion.[/quote]

stickywicket

I am reminded of a tale my Mum used to tell about the woman breastfeeding her child on a tram in 1940’s austerity. The child wasn’t particularly interested and, in the end, the mother said, in exasperation “Look, if you don’t want it I’ll give it to that gentleman over there.” I never did discover the outcome.

As far as I’m concerned it’s their primary use. I love to see it and I loved doing it.

valval

i have no problem with breastfeeding did it myself and that was when there was no where to go but did not flaunt myself in public.
i also do not like to see men re arrange them selves in public or scratch also hate builders bums or ladies thongs there are things better left to the imagination but this my opinion and i am entitled to it.
got on train the other day not many seats and gentle man i sat next to said i not being funny but just want to warn you got a cheese burger i want to eat (just in case i was vegetarian) why could the mother not have shown the same respect

prefabkid47

Thought I would put my views from a male perspective (I can see your point rehab!!).

I have no objection to breastfeeding in public,but many could attempt to be a little more discrete and respect the feelings of others.It seems sometimes they feel they have a point to make and have to broadcast their views.This is not limited to this subject.Consider the gay movement,I and probably 95% of the population,couldn't care less about someone's sexual inclination.But why do they have to shout it from the rooftops and go on marches?I am strictly heterosexual but have no need or desire to shout it to the populace.I've nothing to prove!

lupin15

I breast fed all four of my little darling and can see no reason why a person should not be allowed to do so. It was obvious that this woman did not have any problem with exposing them and maybe should have thought a little more about how it may affect others. But having said that when you are breast feeding they stop being sexual items in my eyes and became milk bottles that did not cost me a penny. I am glad to say that my daughter is breast feeding her wee one and if she had to fed her in public i am sure she would...and should be allowed to do. At the end of the day if her baby is hungry it should be fed.

elainebadknee

Well your prerogative not mine!!

Elainex

rehab44 wrote:

elainebadknee wrote:

Hi

Have heard about the above issue before on radio discussions and yesterday experienced it for myself..
Was sat in leisure centre reception as gym instructor was running a little late, sat on a couch, one was to my left...In walks this woman, parks her buggy next to me on couch to left, sits down and just before you know it, in full view of me (no back turned or long top to be discreet) pulls up tshirt, waps out boob.....The kid obviously wasnt too hungry as it didnt take to it or maybe it could feel my embarassment but this womans nipple was on show for about 5 mins...I couldnt move as was on a low couch and had said to reception would need help to get out, it was really uncomfortable and there was a baby and mother room available too.....
She had no consideration for other people at all and I will say I found it ignorant....I dont want to see that and certainly not at close hand with no dioscration used.....To me its as personal as deciding whether or not to go naked or not in holiday on the beach........She should have been a considerate person firstly and a mother secondly.....

Elainex

Crikey Elaine, only 5 minutes? I would have watched that all day!
:shock:

elainebadknee

Exactly dont just assume that everyone is fine with your behaviour cos its more than often not the case if youre overstepping the line re considerate behaviour...

Elainex

valval wrote:

i have no problem with breastfeeding did it myself and that was when there was no where to go but did not flaunt myself in public.
i also do not like to see men re arrange them selves in public or scratch also hate builders bums or ladies thongs there are things better left to the imagination but this my opinion and i am entitled to it.
got on train the other day not many seats and gentle man i sat next to said i not being funny but just want to warn you got a cheese burger i want to eat (just in case i was vegetarian) why could the mother not have shown the same respect

elainebadknee

Quote again at the risk of sounding like a parrot...I dont see it as sexual either but an inappropriate place and time to do this sort of thing.....And as my initial quote stated the child wasnt hungry at all.....

Elainex

lupin15 wrote:

I breast fed all four of my little darling and can see no reason why a person should not be allowed to do so. It was obvious that this woman did not have any problem with exposing them and maybe should have thought a little more about how it may affect others. But having said that when you are breast feeding they stop being sexual items in my eyes and became milk bottles that did not cost me a penny. I am glad to say that my daughter is breast feeding her wee one and if she had to fed her in public i am sure she would...and should be allowed to do. At the end of the day if her baby is hungry it should be fed.

elainebadknee

Its not about coming far and not hiding....DISCRETION!!!! And if it makes you feel like that fine but opinions are our own......


Elainex

Oh and ps....There are lots of things that come naturally but we still rein it in out of respect!!

rehab44 wrote:

Elaine, I thought that maybe you would have been proud that wimmen have come so far and no longer have to hide away to do something which in my mind is quite natural, beside the fact that I lurv woman, it also brings a smile to my face when I see a woman and child doing what comes naturally, makes me feel quite protective, in a manly sort off way of course

joanlawson

prefabkid47 wrote:

Thought I would put my views from a male perspective (I can see your point rehab!!).

I have no objection to breastfeeding in public,but many could attempt to be a little more discrete and respect the feelings of others.It seems sometimes they feel they have a point to make and have to broadcast their views.This is not limited to this subject.Consider the gay movement,I and probably 95% of the population,couldn't care less about someone's sexual inclination.But why do they have to shout it from the rooftops and go on marches?I am strictly heterosexual but have no need or desire to shout it to the populace.I've nothing to prove!

Unfortunately, both women and gay people have been oppressed and discriminated against over many years ( still are to a certain extent ) No wonder that they sometimes feel a need to broadcast their views to the world :!: If you had suffered discrimination because of your gender or sexual orientation, you might feel like shouting from the rooftops or going on marches too. I don't agree with using breastfeeding as a form of protest, but I can understand why women feel driven to take action in this way when they encounter so much opposition and negative attitudes towards breastfeeding in public.

Oh heck :!: Rehab's going to think I'm one of those bloody feminists now :!: ( perhaps I am in some ways- ''loud and full of it'' occasionally, ''obnoxious'' never, I hope )

elainebadknee

I have already said why I felt this was the case...Do it but not right next to a stranger and facing them.....Its natural yeah but consider others....

Yeah im liking the feedback!

Elainex

rehab44 wrote:

elainebadknee wrote:

Its not about coming far and not hiding....DISCRETION!!!! And if it makes you feel like that fine but opinions are our own......


Elainex

Oh and ps....There are lots of things that come naturally but we still rein it in out of respect!!

rehab44 wrote:

Elaine, I thought that maybe you would have been proud that wimmen have come so far and no longer have to hide away to do something which in my mind is quite natural, beside the fact that I lurv woman, it also brings a smile to my face when I see a woman and child doing what comes naturally, makes me feel quite protective, in a manly sort off way of course

Sorry to go on about this, but what is disrespectfull about breast feeding? Ok it is in a public place, but this is the 21st Century
Good thread though