Should I stay or should I go?

Starburst · 19. Sep 2011, 10:40

Well, today was my first day at university and it went really well except for an inpromtu campus tour which required me trekking up 4 flights of stairs. :???:

A few weeks ago, I booked an appt with rheumy nurse for Weds morning. This was the only suitable time because my rheumy wants to talk to me too. I emailed the uni and they said it was fine for me to go. I mentioned it today to my tutor and she wasn't overly thrilled with me missing the first few hours of an induction day and I got a stern few words about attendance. I muttered something about trying to re-arrange it and she encouraged me to do so which started her off on a tirade about attendance again! I'm now in a panic and not wanting to start off on the wrong foot but this appt is also quite important. We're discussing medication, possibly increasing MTX as I reacted badly to sulfa. The chances of co-ordinating another time between my rheumy nurse and rheumy are slim to none. I know my health is important but to me, this is equally important. Any input would be most appreciated.

Sophie x

bertyboy · 19. Sep 2011, 10:52

hi Sophie i dont know much about uni ins and outs but i would say put your health first because with out the right meds you are more liable to need more time off , its not as if you are trotting of to a pop concert x

vonski · 19. Sep 2011, 11:05

Hi Sophie
This sounds awful doesn't the Uni have Disability policies if not they should. People like your tutor do put students off don't let her ruin it for you. Is there another class you could transfer to?
Vonski

dreamdaisy · 19. Sep 2011, 11:17

You are having to do this for health reasons, not frivolous ones. Whilst at your rheumatology appointment (and yes, that does come first) gather some leaflets and info about arthritis and leave them in her pigeon hole (if such things still exist, it's years since I was at university): good teachers are always willing (and able) to learn from their students. It may also be worth bearing in mind that she could be having a bad day as yet again term time has had the temerity to interrupt the holidays.

She is in the wrong here, you are not. Let us know how the appointment goes, yes? Take care. DD

Ankyspond · 19. Sep 2011, 11:40

Oh Starbest how awful,

Now I am all for education and not having time off as I teach but this tutor is a disgrace if he/she knows details of your medical visit. Yes it is important to be there for induction but without getting your medication right you will not be able to continue with your studies to the best of your ability and may end up having time off and struggle with the work. We all know how hard it is to focus and function when this awful disease kicks in and the last thing you want is to start to feel down and end up struggling.

In this situation I would try to change the appointment but if you can't or you have to wait a lot longer I would go to the appointment. I would contact the tutor and explain fully about your medical issue and explain the importance of you going and say you hope they understand and support you, also ask for any info which you may miss. By doing this she is aware of your arthritis and she can see that it s genuine and if she has anything about her she she be very understanding and supportive.

Please don't be afraid of telling them at uni about your disease there may be help they can offer and support they can give you. Xxxxx

tjt6768 · 19. Sep 2011, 11:46

She is totally out of order, you should have stopped her in her tracks and asked..

'Is it cos I'm disabled?' She would have pooped her knick knacks and realised how unfair she was being.... They are meant to be ultra pc, where is that crap when you need it.. Lol

Best of luck but please get in touch with someone at the uni about this AND more importantly, go to your appointment..

Let us know how you get on

julie47 · 19. Sep 2011, 11:54

Hi starburst

I think I would go to the rhummy appointment. Have you made a friend who fill you in with what you have missed so that you could catch up?

Then for your next app you can perhaps go at the end of your day or when your time table allows.

As for attendance make note how many times the lecturers and your tutor don't turn up or have to rearrange a time though out the years you are there. Your excuse is genuine.

I wish you luck with both uni and your medication

Juliepf x

dibdab · 19. Sep 2011, 13:09

Hope this sorts for you, you're appointment is really important and I'm sure you need to be there. Have you informed the uni about your RA and the need for regular appointments- they have a responsibility to make reasonable allowances. My hubby is a uni lecturer and often tells me of the frequent notes the tutors get about students with specific health needs- he often has to provide written notes, handouts in large print, special modifictaions on field trips and the like. Be courageous in asking for the help you need-there should be a student services department who can help you voice your needs.

Hope that the rheumy appoinment is fruitful-it's a ridiculous disease and we all need all the help and support we can get to live with it.
Take care. X

valval · 19. Sep 2011, 13:51

hi go to appointment it important and you will not miss anything important is it with your tutor she can keep you the notes if so if not email who is in charge and explain to them am sure they will be only to glad you showed that you want to keep up good luck val

stickywicket · 19. Sep 2011, 14:05

As others have said, you need to keep that appointment. I’m not sure whether your tutor is a departmental one or one responsible for your pastoral care. I hope it’s the former because there wasn’t much pastoral care going on there.

It’s possible that info has been lost in the pipeline and the uni is not as fully aware of your problems and needs as they should be. Or that they are in general but not enough has filtered through to the people who need to know.

It’s a disappointing start for you, Starburst, but don’t let it put you off. This is one person on one day, admittedly a person and day that mattered a lot. If this wasn’t the person responsible for pastoral care then ask to speak to whoever is.

Keep the uni well informed of what’s happening for you healthwise. It’s hard when you’re new but only you can tell them. You can do this.

Starburst · 19. Sep 2011, 15:11

Thank you for all the replies. I have taken everything on board.

I tried to find the disability support people today but only ended up with a phone number which I will call tomorrow. They do know about my arthritis but this particular lady didn't. I checked my student handbook and she isn't my course tutor, just for this induction week. I'm guessing she didn't know that I have a genuine reason and was just trotting out the standard line. I'm prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt. Also, I phoned a college friend who's on my uni course too and she said she'd text me so I can find them on Wednesday even though I'll be a bit late.

I do want to make sure everyone is aware of my situation because at college, I got lost somewhere in the system and had a tough first few months.

I was a bit antsy this afternoon (ok a lot!) but I have calmed down now. Breathe, Sophie, breathe!

barbara12 · 19. Sep 2011, 15:19

Hi Sophie
Im sure once they are aware of your situation things will change, you can do it, and don't forget we are always here when you need a rant.
You go for it.

stickywicket · 19. Sep 2011, 15:54

Well, that’s the good news, Starburst. I’m very glad, for your sake.

You sound as if you have everything under control now so well done you. That wasn’t an easy first day.

I hope the disability support people will be of help to you.

Ah yes, do keep breathing. It does help!

traluvie · 19. Sep 2011, 16:01

Hi Sophie..

I was furious when i read your first post, how rude..and although i read further down that she wasn't your normal tutor, still she should not have presumed your abscene wasn't genuine, and she have asked in a more appropiate way, ie "Iv'e noticed there's a drop in your attendance, i was wondering if there was a reason for this?, anything we can help with?"..
do not let this woman worry you though..You need to go to your appointment, speak to someone at the college you feel comfortable with and explain whats going on and see if they can andvice and help you in anyway, they should be working with you to make it successful for you to be able to go to uni..
Hope everything goes well, keep us posted luvie..
(((((X)))))

dibdab · 19. Sep 2011, 16:22

Well done you for taking control of the situation-and we all need a space to rant when this thing gets on top of us. I guess the truth is that anyone who doesn't live with it simply has no idea just how wearing it is-so tell them!!!!! Maybe it's worth picking up some literature when you go for your appointment on Wednesday-I know my head teacher(I teach 5/6 yr olds) was grateful for the leaflets and now she understands a bit more she often asks if there is anything that I need to make the work environment a bit easier to cope with.

Hope the appointment goes well for you, and that you settle in quickly to uni. Blessings-Deb

Should I stay or should I go?

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