ConCERN

mellman01

well CERN seem to be having problems with dear old Einstein’s law of mass and energy commonly known as E=MC2, they have sub atomic particles going a fraction of a millisecond faster than light speed, thing is I know why, look I don’t want to panic you but the Cane and Able’s power supply comes from Lens own neat invention deep within said tavern, he’s invented a stellar generator by fiendishly harnessing a small black holes gravity to produce copious amounts of cheap clean but sadly dangerous energy.
You see fat Kev was looking for the Taverns cat and accidentally hit the black hole release switch instead of the bloody light, I know what your thinking if the energy is so plentiful why not leave the light on, well there’s the problem the black hole sucks all the light into it anyway so there’s no point! Ha Gotcha!!.
Anyway where was I oh yes, Kev was pissed up on gin and let the thing escape it and the cat are now heading towards the centre of the Earth via Skegness so Tony’s caravan is probably by now being dragged into the event horizon, lets see you chin that ya way out of this ya ard norther loony!..
So that’s why CERN has a problem, Lens black hole is really sucking the sub atomic thingy’s in from Skeggy, now here's the nasty bit, once it’s finished with Tony his caravan and Skeggy it will consume the entire Earth so were all doomed, buy on the up side there wont be anymore Slade farm!!.

valval

it can not consume skegness no way where will all the chaves go

tjt6768

we have been prepared for such an event here in Skegness. Ra had invented an anti black hole makerer.. Don't ask how it works, something to do with newtons law and gravity and some blue tack. That combined with the power of his whiskers will easily neutralise the threat,.diverting it to Lincoln.. No bad thing :shock:
Now, who you disrespecting anyway ya Southern poof :green Lol

joanlawson

Well I don't really mind if we get sucked into a black hole. At least we'll all go together, and we might end up in a better universe where arthritis doesn't exist. Just imagine that......no more creaking joints, no more stiffness, no more pain So come on, CERN, do your worst :!:

tjt6768

I'm afraid you may be disappointed my dear and sweety JL...
I've been occupying an alternate universe for the past nine yrs now. And other than Anne Diamond being President of the United States, blue tack being green track, Melbourne being the first ever city to be occupied even though it's under water, Ken Dodd being assassinated by hizbula, fish and chips being illegal, Leeds United on top of the premiership, parsnips being sold at b&q, Cagney & Lacey being nominated for an oscar this year, trench coats banned, Birmingham being clean :shock: , Ray Winston winning I'm strictly a ballroom dancer get me out of the big brother house winner two years running, the word ergo deleted from the Oxford English dictionary, Lego being called Pego, Charlotte Bronty still being artificially alive in Downing Street, (best place for a bit of fiction) Skegness being recognised as THE centre of the universe, wimmin's clothes sizes being standardised.worldwide.
Nothing much is different :roll:

dreamdaisy

I don't understand any of it but I LOVED the title. DD

mellman01

I'll vouch for Toni Joan he's in another parallel universe alright!.

joanlawson

mellman01 wrote:

I'll vouch for Toni Joan he's in another parallel universe alright!.

I think I like Tony's parallel universe because it makes me laugh

BTW, You have received this message before I even thought of writing it

tjt6768

hello from the other side Joan.. From the darkest recess of the world, a strange place where it is normal to call someone duck... From....

Skegness :shock:

Lol

Hope you are ok, glad that you like my universe, feel free to visit from time to time but it's a strange place to live permanently :eek:

mellman01

Yeah I was wondering that and all, you can't bend them in a magnetic field so how can they go from CERN the 700 miles it takes then hit the detectors?, also the sun is throwing out billions of them and they stream through us ever second and don't stop for s**t do the teir dectors will have millions of them coming through it each second so who do they know their the right ones or not?

valval

mellman01 wrote:

Yeah I was wondering that and all, you can't bend them in a magnetic field so how can they go from CERN the 700 miles it takes then hit the detectors?, also the sun is throwing out billions of them and they stream through us ever second and don't stop for s**t do the teir dectors will have millions of them coming through it each second so who do they know their the right ones or not?

permanent marker lol

tjt6768

they're neutron carrier pigeons Rehab
Good to see ya matey