Am I just being crazy?

pickle · 23. Sep 2011, 15:50

Hello, sorry to bother you all but I really need a bit of perspective on whats happening for me at the moment. I basically feel like I have lost complete control of my life and don't know if I am over reacting or not. I have arthritis, crohns, fibro, reactive depression and chronic pain. To add to it all I have developed a fistula that just wont calm down so I am also dealing with an open wound. While I should be used to this cos I've had it for two years I just cant manage it at the moment. The constant infections with it have really irritated my joints and whenever I have to change the dressing it just highlights the lack of movement I now have in my back. My employer has been really good but I am having to drop some hours and am now off sick on half pay until this blasted thing at least pretends its going to heal. I'm sorry to rant, just need to get it all out. I know that there is no real answer and I'm sorry to be so negative but it has all just built up for me lately. I guess I feel I am losing a somewhat tenuious grip on my physical and mental health. Why does this awful disease have to rob you of so much? If it was just the pain then that would be one thing...everything that goes with it is the hardest bit to manage. Again, sorry to offload all of this but leaving it to sit in my brain is only making it worse...Pickle

valval · 23. Sep 2011, 16:12

right stop and breath deep in and out in and out. now it quite normal for you to get like this with all you have going on but you are coping and i am sure in the end things will improve but as you say it anoying the way it makes you feel val

mouseymousey · 23. Sep 2011, 16:34

Hello Pickle, Have you told your GP how you are feeling? Its easy to explain how you are feeling physcially and forget about mentally. No doubt the two work together. For this evening could you try to unwind a little? Treat yourself to something - maybe a soak, a good book, chocolate. Hope you feel a little better soon.

stickywicket · 23. Sep 2011, 17:17

You have a lot to deal with, pickle, and I don't think you're over-reacting. We all deal with the same old rubbish better at some times than others, sometimes for no obvious reason. Please don't apologise.

Do you have family and/or friends who could help? I don't necessarily mean physically (though that would help) but just someone to lean on emotionally, a kind shoulder or voice, even on the end of a phone? It might help to ring the Helpline here. I believe they're very good. Don't just suffer in silence. That's isolating and only makes things worse.

tjt6768 · 23. Sep 2011, 17:36

Hi Pickle.. Blimey, you are having a tough time.. No need to apologise, none of us asked to be inflicted with this terrible disease.. It can be so cruel
I'm glad that you seem to have a decent employer. What is it that you do, if you dont mind me asking?
Sticky had already made my next suggestion in regards to the helplines here. Could be worth a chat.
AND,.us lot are always here too..

Best wishes..

skezier · 23. Sep 2011, 20:01

Hi Pickle,

I think you have every right to feel as you do, one of those things is enough.

I so hope you will feel a bit better tomorrow and that thing..it will heal and you will feel a lot better once the crohn's eases up and backs off a bit.

You hang in there ad leaving you a (((( )))) and a hope. Cris xx

Ankyspond · 24. Sep 2011, 04:01

No, nope, nah you not being crazy just a normal human being with a crap disease and lots on. Don't beat yourself up about it, hope things get better soon. Xx

dreamdaisy · 24. Sep 2011, 04:09

Are you just being crazy? I don't think so. Given that all you are dealing with at the moment it's no wonder you are feeling as you are. I don't know your personal circumstances re family etc but, if possible, stop putting yourself under pressure, try to relax (I would think that a stressed body won't heal easily), perhaps consider a course of anti-depressants (I am on them and boy have they helped) and come and talk to us a little more often: we are here to listen. DD

mouseymousey · 24. Sep 2011, 09:04

How are you doing today Pickle? Hope feeling a bit better.

scozzie · 24. Sep 2011, 12:08

Hoping you have a better day each time you wake up.

julie47 · 24. Sep 2011, 12:22

aw pickle I have just read your thread. I hope today you feel a little better.You poor thing you have so much to conntend with, no wonder you feel so low at the moment.
I have no great advice just wanted to send you a hug and saay I hope you feel better soon. ((((((()))))))

Love Juliepf x

pickle · 24. Sep 2011, 12:42

Thank you so much all of you! I am so grateful for all of your support. I feel a little better today, can kind of see the wood for the tree's now. I did speak to my GP back in June about what was going on for me in a head space kind of way. He was concerned that i really needed extra emotional support and referred me to the community mental health team in my area. I'm still waiting though...I have chased it up and have been told that there is just a massive waiting list and I'll have to wait. I guess the hard part is that I just never thought that all of this would come along with the arthritis. My husband is really good but he puts up with so much of the day to day physical stuff that I really dont want to worry him with this too. Anyway i have resolved to pull my socks up and I will be acting on the great advice I have been given, thank you again. I hope that life is treating you all kindly today. Pickle x

spacey · 24. Sep 2011, 14:25

hi Pickle no definatley not crazy but maybe overwhelmed. I also have ulcerative colitis, arthritis,fibro and chronic pain amongst so others and struggle at times like you saying not being able to see the wood for the trees. Somedays are better than others but for me most of the time I am still seeing each day as a potential good one. i hope your socks stay up but dont worry if sometime they slip down!

Am I just being crazy?

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