It's time today goodbye

katekelly

Hi Folks,
Well I'm sorry I haven't been about much but operation, Arthur and work have all been intruding on my time of late. I think this was to take my mind off what is going to happen tomorrow. The day is nearly here for Ellie to go to uni. She is excited and scared and nervous. As for me well I think the word is bereft.I cannot believe that it is time for her to go, surely it was just a blink of the eye since she was a baby. My feelings are all over the place. I'm proud,happy and even a little bit jealous but overwhelmingly sad. What is pathetic is that her uni is only 40 minutes away so I'm sure I will see her frequently, speak often on the phone and pull faces at her on Skype. She has always been such a good kid ( other than when she was a baby) and always helps me when I'm having a bad day.
So if anyone has any advice as to how to stop this"pain" please let me know as I am beside myself .
Thanks Kate xx

tjt6768

hi Kate. It's a traumatic time for all but it does get easier once you see them settled and making friends.
Toni went to Norwich, a long way from Leeds.. At seventeen.. It killed us but we knew out was what she wanted. Our at least thought she wanted at the time. Long story.. Lol
And now she's even further away, south wales. We talk each day, see her as often as we can. But we know she is happy, settled, working, and with a decent lad that loves her..

I suppose I can't really offer advice on making it easier at the beginning as we were both a mess when she went to Norwich.. You have to let them do it though, it's all part of growing up.

All I can do is wish you both the best of luck.. Let us know how she goes on..
And you of course

joanlawson

Hi Kate

It's such an emotional time when children leave home, even though we are happy for them to be doing what they want to do and becoming more independent. For me it was a double blow because my twins both went off to uni at the same time. The house suddenly went very quiet after having lots of teenagers around ( they always used to bring half the sixth form home with them as we live near the school ) I hated it to begin with, but of course, they both came back in the holidays, and they've been coming back regularly ever since (plus three grandchildren too nowadays )

It's a real milestone for Ellie, and for you too. Good luck to her, and I hope that she will enjoy her student days. It will take you a while to adjust to life without Ellie at home, but I'm sure you will do eventually.

Joan

valval

when my youngest went felt like part of me had died (well when we took him and his gear) but it does not last long as you know they are living the life you have prepared them for when you hear how much she is enjoying it you will feel happy for her and learn to cope just be so proud of how she has turned out and try not to mention bad days to her as she sounds the sort who will worry about you val

dreamdaisy

What was it like for you when you left home? I expect you were excited and happy and perhaps not aware of how your mum might have been feeling. Children have this appalling habit of growing up, to them it takes an age, for their parents it is apparently achieved overnight. You have not lost her, she is just embarking on the next stage of her life and I am sure you have equipped her well to do just this. Stand back, be proud, watch her take flight. DD

tkachev

Hello Kate, I hope you are recovering well and the op has worked for you.

It is known as the empty nest syndrome and it is a sad time for any caring,devoted parent.

It isn't easy I know. You will miss her but like you say, she isn't too far away. We have to let them go but it doesn't mean we are not needed or loved. She will miss you too.

My missing started with the divorce when my 2 girls were suddenly whisked away for weekends or long holidays and I did feel bereft and lost at first. It will take time to get used to and you are allowed to feel sad. But her happiness at her new life will soon comfort you.

All the best.
Elizabeth xx

barbara12

Hi Kate
I hope you are recovering well, has for your daughter leaving for uni, there is no easy way, but just to say that bit by bit you get used to the idea....and talking on the phone really does help...wish I could help more...but leaving you some hugs to keep you going (((((())))

katekelly

Hello Everyone,
Well Ellie has gone. I managed to keep the tears at bay until we got in the car to come home and then they flowed for hours. I felt so bereft and arthritic that I had to go to bed. I think I fell asleep through sheer exhaustion. I slept for an hour or so then my mobile rang. "I'm all unpacked Mum and met a few of my flat mates". Then all of a sudden I felt better. I'm sure the tears haven't all been cried yet and I know I will miss her every second of every day but she sounded so happy and so full of life, expectancy and excitement I know that she will be ok. Yes my beautiful little girl has turned into a wonderful young lady but she will always be my little Ellie.
Love and thanks to you all xx

barbara12

Awww Kate you will get there my love, and like you say you are so very proud of her...and she will always be your little girl...now you get some rest and look after yourself.

joanlawson

Hi Kate

I'm glad to hear that you have survived Day1 and that Ellie is settling in with her new friends. Now you know that she is happy and enjoying herself, you will start to feel more relaxed.

We parents never really stop worrying about our children though, do we? I don't think we realise what we might have put our own parents through until we are parents ourselves.

When I left home in Yorkshire at age 18 to go to London, I think my Mum was worried about me going to the big city, but she did her best to hide it from me. I never really gave a thought as to how she might be feeling because I was so excited. It was only when my twins left home that I realised how my Mum must have felt.

Ankyspond

Kare,

Our eldest went to Aberdeen uni we supported him as you do with your kids now that didn't mean I wasn't devastated not to have him at home and to have him a nine hour drive away. We took him and when we left I cried all the way home, he is now in his final year and is so happy it makes it all worth it. I still cry when he goes back to uni as he is my baby no matter how old, we have two more coming up to do the same thing but I always try to remember it's their life and they need to make their own path in life and as long as their happy that's all that matters.

As for advice on how to keep keep in touchbwith her, visit (but not too often as she has to find her feet), always be there when needed and keep yourself busy and in time it will get easier. She is following her dream and she will love you more for supporting her, it's tough being a mum! Xx

frogmorton

Oh Kate :sad:

You poor poor thing. there is another lass whose son has just left too to go to University and she feels the same as you pride sadness and all the rest. I hope she sees this and knowing you are both suffering will help you both.

The day (well 48 hours after...was not awake till then!) l had Charlotte l remember saying to her Dad that we only had her 'on loan'. she is 16 now and I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All the sensible things you thought when they were little and now you want to hang on for dear life!!!

hugs and a box of these for you