Scared and upset

emmaspoonie

[/bHi all.I'm having such a horrible time at the moment and can't do anything about it so please forgive me for moaning. I have osteoarthritis in my right hip. I was born with a dislocated hip,the joint was rebuilt twice (once when i was 6months old and again at 12 years of age) and now it has got to the stage where it needs completely replacing. I was booked in for surgery on 7th October BUT i fell over in my daughters bedroom five weeks ago and broke my left foot. Went to the fracture clinic three weeks ago and he has put my hip op on hold until my foot has healed.I have to go back next week for an xray to see whether my foot has healed because apparantely,this type of fracture sometimes doesn't heal so i may need surgery on it to reset it and have a screw put in.
And so,for the past 5 weeks,i have been wearing this stupid heavy boot on my foot which has made my hip so much worse and so sore.IF it needs surgery ,then its back to the beginning again with wearing the boot,and i don't know how much longer i can go on like this.
That said,the other problem is that i'm petrified of having surgery. My BMI is 48(!!),surgeon said to try and lose some weight before the op which was going great till i broke my foot and became completely housebound.I would have it done with a spinal block and be awake if need be but can't bear to hear them talking about operating on someone as huge as me whilst they're doing it. Slightly irrational,i know but it seems okay for them to talk about how fat you are without any tact at all. My last surgery was 25 years ago and was horrendous and i guess i'm reliving that a bit,again irrational.Plus,i have two children to look after( and a great husband).My son is autistic and panics if i'm not with him. Its going to be hard for him with me being in hospital and i'll have to cope with the fallout when i come home as well as recovering from the op.
The pain in my right leg is really bad,aggrevated by the foot i'd imagine and my whole leg just throbs and i have pins and needles in my toes,presumably from nerve irritation. It barely feels like there is a joint there now,i can feel the bone moving back and forth and you can physically hear it clunk about.
Sorry for the loooonnnggggg post,i'm not even sure it makes sense but i'm telling all this in the hope that someone can say,"i know how that bit feels" and help me feel a bit better. Thank you.xxx

traluvie

Hi Emma,

Welcome to the forum..
You have come to the right place for people to understand how you are feeling..
I am not surprised your feeling down, having suffered with your hip from a young age, to be told your having an op and then to fall and break your foot and be walking round with that big clump of a boot on your foot, bet you feel like giving that doc a boot up his backside when he said about putting your hip op on hold..
The good thing is it is only on hold and hopefully won't be too long before your having it done..
Alot of people have fears about operations..I have had over 20 and i am 32 so to me it is second nature but for others i can understand it can be a daunting thing..At some hospitals if you are anxious you can actually make an appointment for them to show you around the ward and near the theatre, they talk through process try and put you at ease, this is normally done at pre op but will have to ask to make sure..
What pain meds are you taking? Might be worth mentioning things to GP if you are struggling with the pain side of things,see if you can ssort something out..
Don't apologise for moaning,, we all do it lol..

emmaspoonie

I'm on Naproxen and co-codamol but the co-codamol make me drowsy so i can't take them when the kids are about. I take them at night and am still in too much pain to sleep. :sad:

barbara12

Oh Emma
You so remind me of me...if you know what I mean, I was down to have my first THR 2 years ago, I have kept putting it off now my other hip has cached up...what I am trying to say you are not on your own, we all understand some if not all what you are going through...has for the cocodamols, they effect me the same, I feel to drowsy.
You have gone through so much, from being so young, I just wish I could offer more help, I just hope that your foot dosnt take that long to heal, then you can have that THR, dont forget we are all behind you, and dont worry about having as moan, it will help you to get it off your chest
you take care, and please let us know how you get on.

nearlybionic

Hi Emma
I can sort of understand what you are going through, and what you have had to go through in the past. I was born with bilateral hip dysplasia, and have had hip pain and problems all my life. It became unbearable a couple of years ago due to OA and I had a THR 2 years ago. It was a terrifying prospect, and although my recovery has not been all smooth sailing, it has really improved my quality of life.
I am sorry to hear about your fall and about your foot. What a blow that was for you! I hope it heals and you don`t need further interventions. Until you are able to have your THR, I would speak to your GP about other pain relief. I was given morphine tablets and morphine suspension for breakthrough pain, and didn`t find it made me too drowsy (I have 2 young children ) and it made the pain more bearable.
If you need to talk this forum is full of brilliant supportive people.
Take care xx
NB

dorcas

Hi Emma,

You have every right to 'moan' but on here we don't see it as moaning! it's sharing with folks who have the same or similar experiences and on whom you can rely for support and a few virtual ((((hugs)))) to see you through a difficult time.

I do hope the fracture heals without intervention and that you will get help with your two little ones if you have the hip op. It can be a worry to go into hospital when you have children to consider and even more so when one of them has additional needs. I'm glad you have a good husband on whom you can rely..... but maybe there are other supports (friends, family) who can help out a bit too?

I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience of surgery .... and there's no excuse for anyone involved in your care making you feel bad about your size. :shock: how dare they! :x
but you know. it may be different this time around and it's worth remembering that any concerns you have about 'attitudes' and your experience of prejudice can be discussed well in advance at pre-op appointment. Emotional welfare of the patient is every bit as important as the physical!

Take care and let us know how you are ...

Iris xx

vonski

Hi Emma and welcome to the forum. As has been said you have every right to moan but on here it's not moaning but sharing Hopefully your fracture will heal well and your hip op can be arranged. I think it might be a good idea to get the fit of your boot shecked out something may have swollen. If you're housebound now once you managed to get everything done and healed it will give you a new lease of life. A lot of people on here have had the hip operatio so able to talk to you about this hopefully be able to put your mind at rest.
Love
Vonski x

skezier

Hi Emma,

Welcome from me as well and hope the advice you have been given has helped you?

I think its true to say any health worker who says anything derogatory about your is out of order and well its inexcusable if they do.

I kinda think the endless pain makes you feel so down and maybe the gp could help you there with either a change of tablet or something a an add in? Might be worth asking them?

I really hope things will get easier for you and hope the fact this lot understand really does help you. leaving you a cyber ((( ))) and a hope today is easier for you. nice to meet you. Cris x

emmaspoonie

Wow,thank you all so much for the support. I had a HUGE cry yesterday which kind of exhausted me and for the first time in what seems like forever,i slept really well and wasn't in too much pain in the night.
I keep thinking i should go back to my GP for some different pain relief but i don't drive and couldn't walk there so its a case of ringing up the GP surgery at 8am (not easy when you have two children to get to school),hope you can get an appointment and then that someone is available to take you,and i'm not very good at asking people for help.
Anyway,just holding on for next Thursday when i will know what is happening with my foot.
Thank you again,it's lovely to meet such friendly,supportive and understanding people. xxx

stickywicket

If it's just the pain relief that you want to see the doc about, do they do telephone appointments? Mine do. Also, if it's really bad, what about a taxi? I know it can get expensive but sometimes it's a case of needs must. It is with me if Mr SW isn't about.

emmaspoonie

stickywicket wrote:

If it's just the pain relief that you want to see the doc about, do they do telephone appointments? Mine do. Also, if it's really bad, what about a taxi? I know it can get expensive but sometimes it's a case of needs must. It is with me if Mr SW isn't about.

My GP is awful. Only those that are well enough to go and queue outside the door from 7;30 am for when the doors open at 8am are likely to get an appointment. You ring for ages to get through,then get through and get put in a queue and when you get through,all of the appointments have gone. Its a lottery as to whether you get to see a Dr or not. :???:

stickywicket

I'm not 100% sure but I think this is now illegal. Why not take it up with your local PALS service?

skezier

Hi Emma,

That's bad and well flower I know it wouldn't be easy but can you change docs?

Sticky is right if they do the phone appointments they can put drugs up... mind did and well its a good idea to try ... but... Emma if you can change gp's cus this isn't right. You need the help and they should be providing. it! Another ((( ))) and a bucket of strength to help you through the day. Cris x

angie45

Hi Emma
Sorry to hear your op has been put on hold and you're having a rough time. I can sympathise with you on so many levels. Co-codomol makes me drowsy too. After discussing it with my GP I ended up taking 1co-codomol and 1 paracetamol instead of 2 co-codomol . I found it sort of took the edge off of the pain without leaving me zombified.
As far as the weight issue goes I know what you mean about insensitivity on the part of hospital staff it can leave you feeling raw and sensitive. I once had a surgeon stand at the bottom of my bed and discuss my weight with a colleague as if I wasn't there. I just coughed then turned to the nurse and said 'Isn't it funny how highly trained people can make mistakes like thinking that going to the bottom of a bed renders the person in the bed deaf.' He very quickly excused himself and left the room a rather nice shade of bright red.
I can also understand your worries concerning your children especially when one has additional needs and what you mean by dealing with the fallout when you get out of hospital. My daughter has learning difficulties and hated change when she was younger especially if that change was a missing mum. I was very fortunate that she doted on her grandmother and so I could leave her with my mum if I ever needed some breathing space and, lets be honest, as much as we love our kids we do need that space. It also helped tone down the fallout. Isn't there anyone else your little one is fond of that could maybe be there while you're in hospital and make the fact you're not there a little more bearable? It might help ease the fallout you face when you get home too. I do hope you find a solution to this problem and I'm sorry I can't help more.
I hope all goes well for you on Thursday and with your op.

hileena111

Hi Emma
Welcome to the forum....sorry its in such circumstances.
I would agree....change GP's I did {after my THR} and wished i had done it much sooner. This one is great....the other one!!!! He would scribble a prescription and have you out the door in a couple of minutes.
Ican only sympathise on a couple of levels....I had a smashed ankle and had to have an op and plate pins and screws but it was long enough before my THR not to affect it {hope your ankle op goes OK no intervention like that}
As for the THR I had a spinal block and was awake but none of what they really said sunk in {this was my THR}..
I think the first thing is change your GP.

Love
Hileena

angie1973

Welcome from me too!

I am glad to hear you got some sleep. You sound like one busy lady with the kids and slumping a big cast around with your foot. I'm not surprised the hip pain is worse.

I hope it all settles down for you soon. It's not easy facing surgery, and having someone tell you to lose weight is never nice to hear either is it. But pain is something no-one should have to put up with long term, so I hope you can get through.

My doctor is useless at getting appointments with some days, but he is very good at ringing you and prescribing over the phone. I do that now when I get tonsillitis as I get it regularly enough to warrant it. You should ask if you can do the same.

Gentle hugs from me anyway. Ange..xx