Well-being of children in the UK

joanlawson

In a study by UNICEF of children in 33 countries, it seems that children in the UK are very unhappy in comparison to children in countries like Sweden and Spain. In family and peer relationship well-being tables, the UK ranks at last position.

British parents are trapping their children in a cycle of "compulsive consumerism" by showering them with toys and designer labels instead of spending quality time with them. The UN children's agency warns that materialism has come to dominate family life in Britain as parents "pointlessly" amass goods for their children to compensate for their long working hours.

While parents said they felt compelled into buying more, the children themselves said spending time with their families made them happier. UNICEF UK said the obsession was one of the underlying causes of the riots and widespread looting which gripped the UK last month, as teenagers targeted shops for the designer clothes and goods.

Researchers found that consumerism was less deeply embedded in Sweden and Spain, which rank significantly higher for the well-being of children. British parents work longer hours and are simply “too tired” to play with their children, whom in turn they can no longer control.

Profoundly depressing :?: Does it ring true :?: Is there a remedy :?:

Joan

tjt6768

this also means they are too tired to chastise them when needed. So it's not just the nicer things kids are missing out on but discipline too. Another reason why so many youths are the way they are...
Bring back good old discipline and also good family time.. Both equally as important I think.

This country is in such a sad state eh?

joanlawson

You are right about discipline, Tony. I think that some parents are afraid to discipline their children these days, and they allow them to get away with bad manners and behaviour. Maybe they feel guilty because they don't give them enough attention, so just let them do what they want. Also, I think that television is often used as a convenient babysitter, and kids have lots of computer games etc. in their bedrooms, so they aren't mixing with the family as much as they used to.

tjt6768

whatever happened to good old family life eh?
Change is definitely NOT always for the best...
We brought Toni up to have manners and respect, she knows the value of money and hard work. We spent quality time with her as much as we could.. She was also given what we could give her, got her all the up to date toys, but most if them were educational, little computers etc. other than that all she ever wanted was drawing stuff, sit her down with pens and paper etc, she'd be happy for hours.
She was brought into line when needed though. She's turned into a lovely young woman that we are very proud of. I would be ashamed to be the parent of some of the sods out on the street these days. They need a good hiding if you ask me. Them and the corrupt politicians!

skezier

Hi Joan,

Its interesting that ad I think in part very true,......

I spend a lot of time with my mates great grand kids and be honest we just talk and they love it. They don't get that kind of interaction from the parents partly cus they are so close together and the next baby is time consuming.

I might have been the same had I had my own so can't comment on that bit. Can't on a happy childhood either but I do know these kids and I just have this interaction... Its often stopped and they are told to go watch tv but they want the attention and well I do get a bit annoyed they never seem to be able to get it.

You know I don't like materialism and I agree thats whats happening..... I don't know the cure but hope one day someone will before its too late.

Hope you and your oh are ok and a purr to Tommy. Cris xx

stickywicket

When mine were 12-15 school holidays were a nightmare as I had their friends round almost every day because their parents 'Don't want us messing up the house and trailing dirt in'. I still feel a mixture of pride & sadness when I remember overhearing one of them say "I like your Mum. She talks to us." It really shouldn't be something a 14 yr old notices.

frogmorton

Very interesting Joan and l tend to agree

in answer to your questions:

It is profoundly depressing

Yes it does ring true and no there is no remedy because people want too much these days due to TV other media etc meaning that often both parents have to work in order to provide these 'necessities'

Sticky

those kids...they are now round here I have three girls and a teacher once said to me - "have them at yours if you can cope. Then you will know the answer to two of your biggest worries....where are they and who are they with."

Love

Toni xx

valval

i chose to work part time to bring our two up as we wanted them ought up if you give them to others to do the job you have no say in the out come. we did not have much money but always took them away some where even if it was relatives and spent quality time with them watched there school plays football cricket you name it we were there they always knew if the **** hit the fan we would stand behind them they are not perfect and the oldest has given us more scares than enough but they are great lads who help others and would not change a hair on there heads.
if parents put things before time spent with children ,holidays abroad,cars, houses larger than they need before they know it it is to late and yes grand parents are there and very important to give time and balance to there lives

joanlawson

The importance of parents devoting energy and love to bringing up children is well understood and politically accepted and flogged by all parties, but maximising income ( sending both parents out to work ) and encouraging consumption are touted as necessary for economic growth. The latter often undermines the former. Parents work all hours to increase family income ( we opted out of EU Working Hours directive ) and are often too exhausted or too busy to give their children the attention they need.

A whole generation of children are growing up without the quality of family life they deserve, and I believe it is a ticking time bomb for the country. No amount of material things can give them the guidance and nurturing they need, so no wonder children in the UK score so low in terms of well-being and happiness.

Unhappy children equals disaffected and alienated teenagers, which in turn equals NEETS ( Not in Education, Employment, or Training ) of which there has been a big rise. (There were 979,000 16 to 24-year-olds languishing on benefits in the second quarter of this year, up by 107,000 in just 12 months. ) What is going to happen to these kids in the future, and what kind of parents will they be when they grow up :?:

I don't know what the remedy is. Women want to work, and many can't afford to stay at home. I don't think we will ever turn the clock back to a time when women stayed at home with the children, although most would probably prefer to work part-time. Parents need to work together as a team to ensure that their children are given a good quality of family life, but this doesn't seem to be happening at present.

valval

prioritize that what a lot of them do but unfortunately the children get shoved further down the que of things needing parents attention instead of at the top did you see the comidy with ben in it (can not remember other twos names) is becoming more like that these days all rush and getting no where val

angie1973

When my daughter was younger, she was doing my work day, before school club, school, after school club. She was in nursery too before that. It was necessary at the time, with a break up and I needed to work.

When my husband now and I were expecting our son, we decided to change things around. My husband stopped his job of 20 years and became a house husband, then a small business from home. It meant my son didn't have to go to nursery and got quality time at home, and my daughter did a normal day.

I work a normal shift so am home in plenty of time for quality time with them. They don't have games consoles coming out of their ears, or iphones or other such gadgets, mainly because my principals don't let me shower them given they don't NEED these things and I refuse to keep up with the parents of other's and two, I can't afford to pay out for things they simply don't need.

We spend our weekends out at parks with them out in the fresh air, playing ball (well, I stand and try), eating out with sandwiches etc. Going to places like children's farms or a theme park etc are very, very rare days out done for a very special treat.

We never had those things as a child. I never had luxuries like that till I was much older, and we never missed out as far as I am concerned.

There is too much pressure for kids to have everything. I am constantly having my 13 year old asking me why she can't have these posh phones and stuff and I say, you don't NEED it. She has a phone, but her friends all have other stuff, and I would love to know how all their parents afford it all, as I never could.

It does make a difference. You only have to see these gangs of kids loitering around as they don't want to be at home being nagged or ignored so they have nowhere else to go. We have rubbish facilities for youths now, so they destroy the local kids parks instead. Our local park yesterday was covered in glass and beer cans from the teenagers the night before. Disgusting, but this is how they are brought up by a lot of people.

I love getting stuck into a board game with mine, it's loads more fun, and gawd help us when we get the play dough out!!

Sorry to get on my soap box, but it's a real bug bear of mine. Children don't need all that stuff, just loving parents and bags of love. The rest just follows on.

barbara12

It is so hard on some parents these days..they have the pressure of paying the bills.. so they have to work,.yes we all had bills years ago, but I dont remember having so many that cost so much.
But spending money on then is not the answer...they do need your time, I am bringing up my GC now, and I always make sure we sit down around the table for our evening meal...and I love the chatter...we have one friend that comes for tea that couldnt use a knife and fork at the age of 13....he was amazed at us all using them....nobody is perfect...and I dont have the answers..apart from giving them quality time...and showing them lots of love.

joanlawson

Thank you for your replies, all of which are very interesting.

On the BBC Newsround programme, they asked children for their opinions about the UNICEF report. This is what some of them said: ( quotes from the Newsround website )

''If Britain is so bad for kids, why does so much money get given to other countries when our kids need it to improve their lives? Our parents and grandparents worked and paid taxes for us and for the good of Britain and that is what the money should be used for. Maybe all this money that is being sent to other countries could be given to children in Britain who are being bullied for self defence lessons or for ways to stop bullying.''

Liane, 10 Essex

''Children in other countries have more opportunities when it comes to higher education as their country is not ruled by social class and wealth, instead it is ruled by equal opportunities which Britain simply doesn't conform to.''

Sandy, 12, Glasgow

''I think that children in the UK could be just as happy as those in the Netherlands, Finland, Sweden and Denmark if families spent time together and children felt that they could talk to their parents about their worries and the parents would try to do something about it.''

Kate, 10, North Wales

Out of the mouths of babes. I think we need to listen more to what children have to say.

tjt6768

by eck, get em into Downing Street as soon as possible :shock:
They talk more sense than most of the idiots that have been in and out of there these past few years, lol

joanlawson

delboy wrote:

To me those quotes appear to be from children who have a decent set of parents and education to be able to formulate those views. Had they tried it on a sink estate they would have been stabbed and their equipment stolen.

I took part in a discussion group with teenagers from a comprehensive school in quite a rough area today. I was impressed because they were intelligent, articulate, and had very clear ideas of their own.They confirmed the findings of the UNICEF report, as many of them said that they feel peer pressure to own the latest computers/ phones etc. and that they pester their parents to buy them. However, they agreed that such things didn't really make them feel happy in the long run.