I have had enough!!!

chantelle

Hi,

I have not really done this before, but I thought this was the best place to say how I feel. I am 29 and have had RA since I was 13, I have gone through two full knee replacements and two elbow replacements. My left shoulder has started to be become very restricted and very painful which is unbearable and the right shoulder is not as bad. I need help with every day task.
I think I have got to a point were I have hit a wall, I think I have everything under control and wham another part of my body falls apart. I am a positive person and always think of my illness as something that will never stop me from achieving anything that I want.
But at the moment I can not snap out of feeling angry and tired with having to deal with another problem. My body is really affected with the way I am feeling as it is constantly sore and stiff. At the moment I can not see a positive future, I know that sounds really drastic but it is the way I am feeling.

I am so sorry for this very gloomy post but I don't feel I can share it with anyone that I am close with.

Thank you x

barbara12

Hi chantelle
Gosh I really do feel for you, having Arthur from such a young age , no wonder you are down, but there is one thing we can do for you, and that is listen, like you say talking to family can be really hard.
I just wish I could help you more, but please get it all off your chest, it really does help .
And when you have done that, then you live to fight another day...with us lot behind you.
You take care
Sending you loads of hugs to be going on with ((((())))

lalla

Hi Chantelle , no wonder you are having a low time, you have put up with a lot and so young,frustration and pain are so draining and debilitating, and having another joint giving Gyp is no fun, but as you say you are positive and that is good. Hitting the brickwall ooooow , we are here to pick you up and sledgehammer that wall down.Sending lots of gentle hugs (((((Chantelle)))))) Take care Linda

valval

hi chantelle i am so sorry that life has treated you so unfair it is no wonder you feel so down at the moment it is exhausting coping with ra and you have done so well to get so far and go through so much in your life lesser people would have given in long ago it shows you are made of sterner stuff and i know you will soon feel more positive again feel free to come on and let off steam if things do get bad the helplines are very good from what i have heard val

bertyboy

hi chantelle sorry icant offer much in advise but you have done the right thing coming here , just wanted to say welcome and that you are not alone xx

elnafinn

Dear Chant

I notice that you posted in 2007 when you were waiting to have new knees and you were, naturally very scared. So in 4 years you have been through a lot of ops if you have had your elbow replacements in that time too. Just having the knee ops is enough. You brave girl.

Please do not apologise for posting this way, you are entitled to do so, this is how you are feeling and I am so sorry. I am sorry that you have lost your positiveness and sparkle but I am sure that will return. I wonder if it helped you to type out a little of how you are feeling at this time.

I would suggest that you call the confidential helplines on Monday, the phone number is at the top of the screen. Many members have phoned them and have been helped immensely. They are a great team of dedicated, knowledgeable people and I really think it would be of benefit to you to speak with someone at the other end of the phone who will really understand. You do need to talk and they will listen and be with you for as long as it takes. You are not hurried at all and if you become upset, which is only natural, they will wait until you are ok to speak again. You do not have to give your real name and can ask to speak with a female member of the helplines if you so wish.

I am thinking of you. You have taken the first step and told us a little of how you are feeling. That must have been difficult to do but it is out now and we will do our best to help and support you through this.

Hugs
Elna x

stickywicket

I’m so sorry things are so tough for you right now, Chantelle, but you did exactly the right thing in coming here to let us know how you feel. There is absolutely no need to apologise. We all have times when it doesn’t feel right to share what we’re going through with our nearest and dearest and those are the times when the forum comes into its own.

I believe you when you say you are ‘a positive person’ but that right now you can’t see ‘a positive future’ and it’s perfectly understandable that you feel angry and exhausted with it all. You have been through a lot in a very short time.

It’s possible that a change of meds might help but right now I think that Elna’s suggestion of contacting the Helplines would make more sense. It sounds as if there must be a lot more pain in there, both physical and emotional. Being brave will get you a long way but sometimes it’s best to just let go and tell it like it really is.

We will help to support you any way we can, Chantelle. Take care.

tjt6768

Hi hun. No need to apologize. That's what we do best on here, listen and understand...
You are spot on with the bit about people close to you. No matter how loving our understanding they are, they don't know the disease as we do..
I'm really sorry that you are so low at the moment. Have you spoken to your GP about it? There are some quite effective anti depressants or other types of treatment to consider.. Even I'm on the happy pills, for after suffering for what seems a lifetime this year it has ground me down somewhat.. There is no shame in asking for help, I for one have learned that after years of being too stubborn. It's made such a difference for me.

I can only wish you well, tell you to keep posting, someone will always be around to lend a friendly ear.. This is definitely something you are not alone with mi dear..

Hope tomorrow is a brighter day for you.

suzygirl

Chantelle, you have gone such a huge amount already at a young age, you are more than entiltled to have had enough. We all hit that wall at times, and we need others to help pick us back up again.

You are obviously a fighter and a very strong person to have come through this already. Take time to mourn your losses and reflect on the positives, we all need a bit of me time occasionally.

Sending you positive thoughts and encouraging (((hugs)))

barbara12

Chantelle
I am just calling in to see how you are doing, and dont forget the helpline...and us lot are always here for you..
Take care xx

dachshund

Hi Chantelle.
i'm sorry you are in so much pain and it's been for such a long time you have been very brave and now you need some help
this is a lovely forum and the people on here are so kind and helpfull.
why dont you try to see your doctor and tell him or write it down
say you have had enough of the pain and how you feel.
i know with arther it can make you ache all over and feel worn out thats with out the pain you have.
((((((((chantelle))))))))
joan xx

frogmorton

Oh Chantelle

You poor girl :sad:

l am not surprised you feel so down at the moment. That smile you plaster on for the rest of the world can slip in here. We do understand and we can't 'cure' you but we will care about you and support you.

I don't want to tell my Grandmother to suck eggs - you are clearly an 'old hand' at this, but in your position l would at least be pushing for a steroid
jab in one/both of your shoulders.

Love

Toni xx

dreamdaisy

Good grief girl, considering all that you have gone through in the past few years I am not surprised that the smiles have left for a while. Arthritis in itself is tiring, coping with the meds and the ops is tiring, coping with being happy for everyone else is tiring, no wonder you cannot maintain that facade - here you do not need to.

We all need a break from being Little Miss Positive (yup, even the blokes, tho they do it differently to us!) and here is the safe place to post. We do understand, we will do what we can to support and help, we will listen to whatever you want to say. No insincere schmaltz back, just genuine understanding and hugs. I wish you well, keep in touch and yes, consider ringing the helpline. They are good at listening too. DD

lalla

Just checking in , sending gentle hugs(((()))), Linda