AC FORUM - UPSET AND DISAPPOINTED

tillytop

I am really sad to be posting this message but I have finally (for the moment anyway) had enough. When I joined this was a great forum and, apart from the odd spat, a wonderful place for support, advice and friendship. But now it seems to be nothing but backbiting, infighting, inconsistent moderating, and endless spam (much of which probably shouldn't have got through in the first place and certainly should have been removed promptly when it did). And my one complaint a few weeks ago clearly fell on deaf ears because I wasn't even given the courtesy of an acknowledgment.

So I have decided to take a break from the forum for the time being but will probably look in from time to time and, if things seem to be improving, I may feel I can start to post again. (I am also aware that my current state of mind is a factor in my decision but the forum is definitely not somewhere I want to be at the moment.)

I am also going to write formally to AC management to voice my concerns because, in my view, the forum is now seriously failing in its mission.

Thanks to everyone who has been such a great support to me since I joined - just because I am not posting any longer doesn't mean I am not thinking about you.

Tilly

valval

tilly if you need a break take it sorry you feel you have to go but we will be here when you need us val

bertyboy

hi Tilly sorry you are feeling like this but i think we all take a step back at times , do what feels right for you but please please take care of your self , i dont know much about the back biting never seen it myself , have seen the spam stuff and tend to ignore it , it happens on a lot of forums x

traluvie

Hi Tilly..

So sorry to hear you are taking a break..sometimes it needs to be done i understand..I just wish it was for your own reasons not due to the forum upsetting you..
As Val said we will be here waiting for you when you return luvie..
Take care luvie and you can always keep in touch by pm if you feel you don't want to post..(((((X)))))

barbara12

Hi Tilly
I do understand what you are saying, you have been such a good support to many, and I for one will really miss you, please take care of yourself, and I hope that one day soon you will feel you can start posting again.
Sending you lots of hugs and love (((((()))) xx

elnafinn

Aw, dear Tilly, I am devastated that you are leaving us, hopefully only temporarily. You have been on the forum for around 18 months and the gardening thread you started was of great interest to so many others. It was such a happy thread, your enthusiasm shone through. I do hope that you are still able to be active in your garden. It is a joy to have a plot of land and it does not have to be big, to tend and watch things grow that you have planted and nurtured. I shall miss you greatly along with your postings of help and support to others. I am so saddened that a complaint you sent in was not acknowledged, that in itself would be upsetting. I do hope that you continue to look in on us and will feel able, in time to join us again. You will be welcomed with open arms, by those that have appreciated your presence on the forum. We will not forget you. Please look after yourself, you are special to many. Life can be very tough at times. You know how you can contact me if you wish to share a problem or something.

Sending you over much love and gentle hugs, we have just lost a little treasure and I hope that little treasure returns to us soon.

Elna x

frogmorton

Oh Tilly

I am so very very upset you feel this is what you have to do.

However l wholeheartedly respect you for doing what you feel is right for you at this time.

Lots of love to you and l will still be thinking of you and hoping you are ok

Toni xxx

skezier

Oh Tilly I am sorry your feeling like this. I haven't seen the backbiting and don't know what the infighting is about but hope so much that you will still drop in and post when your feel like doing so.

I agree there are aspects of the forum that have changed and not necessarily for the good of all but it does still give a huge amount of care and support to all.

I know I miss a lot of posts, I have useless eyes and so can't answer everyone, nor would I cus that would be way too much posting for my hands and wrists... and probably the forum but I have always tried to be supportive and am so sorry you are feeling as you are.

I so wish you were not going but am heartened tis only for a break and not for good. You take some time out if thats what you need but never think your not being thought about cus you will be by my self and the Deer who will make sure there is always tea and cdm in the box when you need it. Look after your self and I hope you will feel you can post again. Love and a ((((( ))))) and a hope. Cris xx

chris7

Hi Tilly

Sorry to see this. I don't get on the forum as much as I used to for all sorts of reasons mostly work and health issues and I may well have missed threads where perhaps people were asking for support and felt they hadn't been acknowledged. If so I can only apologise now. I am not saying this is your view but I do share some of your concerns expressed here.

The forum is no longer the happy spontaneous and all inclusive place I joined some time ago. I fear nothing much more can be done about the spam since the Mods are volunteers and simply can't watch the site 24/7 but not to have your one complaint acknowledged is frankly unforgiveable but sadly not surprising.

Many of us have taken breaks to regroup and concentrate on our own issues both in the short and long term but I hope like me you feel you are not ready to give it up altogether and will call in again. You have been a welcomed and valuable member of the forum and I will miss seeing your posts.
take care of yourself. ((( )))
Chris xx

tjt6768

Hi Tilly..
I really hope that this is a temporary thing. You will delicately be missed but I do understand part of what you are saying. There has been some rather bad decisions made by the powers that be recently, some that are very disappointing indeed. I hope that things will be sorted out and that you will rejoin us soon.
I for one look forward to you coming back hun.

Look after yourself.. Keep one of our mutual friends up to date with how you are please?

Best wishes from me and Ra.

X

stickywicket

Tilly, I was so sad to read this, partly because I’ve always felt your posts to be informed models of kindness, understanding, sympathy and empathy and partly because I agree with every word of your first paragraph.

I, too, am becoming increasingly concerned about how the forums are run. I’m not necessarily blaming the Moderators here as I suspect they are overworked and, besides, I have no idea who is responsible for what.

However, increasingly things seem to be happening arbitrarily. I, too, made a complaint some weeks ago and I, too, have no idea whether or not it was even received let alone acted upon.

The matter of the ‘disappearing numbers’ (of posts made) was a minor issue. I can just about accept that it was felt there was no need to consult forum members about this but I cannot accept that there was no need for the courtesy of a simple announcement at the top of each forum page. I remember when we were asked about such matters. Now we’re not even told.

Today an entire thread, to which I and three other members had contributed, suddenly disappeared from Chit Chat. As someone who had made what I felt was a reasoned and reasonable contribution to that thread, I would again have expected some indication, either publically or privately, as to why this had been done but there was nothing.

I know that forums such as these can probably not be run as democracies but I fear that whoever are responsible for the Arthritis Care forums, which I hold dear, are becoming more like faceless oligarchies who are answerable to no-one.

Poppyg1rl

Hi Tilly,
I'm so sad you feel you need to leave, I've always read your posts as they are full of compassion and common sense - a rarity in this day and age!
The forum has changed without a doubt, but life is not at a standstill, things change and evolve, consequently so will the forum.
I personally am grateful for all the love and support I receive on LWA, it has kept me going when going got tough and I wouldnt be without it.
I hope after a break you'll feel you can come back and contribute again, I really, really mean that Tilly, you will be sorely missed.
Take care and a one armed hug Xxx

dreamdaisy

It isn't sticky who is temporarily leaving, del, it's tillytop.

Oh tilly, I am so sad to read this, though I do feel agreement on a number of points you made. Yup, the bitchiness has increased in level somewhat, if people want to be spiteful and nasty then let them get on with it and it's best to steer clear. I still think the forum is second to none in terms of support etc, but since the much vaunted (and delayed, if I remember rightly) upgrade there has been a notable deterioration in matters official and unofficial.

On the negative side, yes there has been a huge increase in spam, but that is easily dealt with by reporting it. I can understand it can take a little while to remove it but some of the ridiculous modding that goes on with it does not present AC in a good light. (Anyone fancy a trip to the Dalmation coast?) I am also not that impressed by the sudden removal of useful features, especially on a site that is supposedly geared towards the support of those with arthritis. Not everyone's hands work well. Where is the empathy and support in that move? (Bet you I go onto the forum now and find the edit button is back! ) We used to be consulted about changes, didn't we?

Another possible negative: due to the surge in membership perhaps those in charge are snowed under with complaints, moans and questions. And not many want to be moderators, so there may well be fewer of them trying to cope with it all. Forums also wax and wane, 'tis the nature of the beast.

But on the positive side this forum is still wonderful at giving support - elna's and skezier's threads are proof of that. There is a large group of people on here who enrich one's life, who help you through the days, weeks and months, who give so very much and ask nothing in return. More people are finding the forum more easily, and that too has to be a good thing. The raised profile for this, the only accredited arthritis support forum (as I understand it) has to be a good thing, but I do wonder if those who are concerned with its administration are struggling with a much larger workload as a result of this. AC is wonderful, it changed my life, but at the moment those in charge don't appear to value us mere mortals that highly. DD

elnafinn

tillytop wrote:

and my one complaint a few weeks ago clearly fell on deaf ears because I wasn't even given the courtesy of an acknowledgment.Tilly

Del, as DD says it is Tilly who started the thread and has unfortunately decided to leave for the time being. One of the reasons is because, quite rightly, she was disappointed not to even receive an acknowledgment to her one complaint a few weeks ago. As I understand it we are encouraged to get in touch with the Webmanager, Jean 123 or the mod team when something is bothering us on the forum. The very least we expect is the courtesy of a reply.

Elna x

mig

Hi Tilly,I have only been on here a short time and have found it a valuble source of info and help,im sad that you are leaving for awhile but understand why you are doing this,sometimes the things we want to say to someone doesnt come out right i know i have done this myself and said sorry if i have upset anyone.Hope you feel better soon and feel you can come back to us.will miss you take care,will be thinking of you.Mig

julie47

Hi Tilly

I am also sorry to read that you have decided to leave. :sad:

You have always given me help and support when I have had a thread going and for this I thank you.

I hope that after a little while away from the forum you do decide to come back as you will be missed.

Take care
Love and Hugs ((((((((((())))))))
Juliepf x

theresa4

So sorry to hear youre taking a break Tilly you have been a great support to me the past year or so :sad:
I wish you well and hope to hear you back on here soon. Please feel free to PM if you need to sound off

Much Love
Theresa

suzygirl

Tilly, I am so sorry to hear you feel you need a break from the forum. I totally understand why you might feel that way, and its important that you put yourself first.

However, I shall really really miss you. You have given so much support, empathy and humour to others. I hope in time you will be able to return to the forum. I know there are problems within the forum, but so many people are supportive kind and emapthetic, and that is hard to find.

(((Tilly))) I am thinking of you x

dachshund

Hi Tilly
i'm so sorry to read about you being upset. we all care about everyone on here we are friends and we missed one another
when they leave so try not to stay a way too long.
you know if you have a problem please come on and say.
you will be missed take care.
joan xx

dorcas

Hi Tilly

I am so, so sorry to hear that you are taking a break from the Forum. :roll: but respect and understand your reasons for doing so.

You are such a lovely insightful person; helpful, funny and always ready to support others in difficulty.

Any disagreements or concerns can hopefully be addressed with time and patience. The AC Forum is a dynamic entity; if it were not so it would be dull as dishwater and not worth being associated with! I do agree that not having a complaint acknowledged is unacceptable but explanations can surely be sought and given by those who run the forum.

At the heart of this forum are the members...some wonderful, caring people....who make it what it is.

Please do not stay away too long... I for one will miss you. :!:

Iris xxx

lindalegs

Don't go Tilly, too many people like you have left us and we need the good ones, like you, to stay :sad: :sad:

Please think again.

keith1971

Hey Tilly,

Do what's best for you!

As you know I left too (but still occasionally pop back to have a quick look at the posts). During my short time on here you were extremely helpful, knowledgeable & caring towards me which I hugely appreciate(d), especially when I was going through the hardest times.

Forum life definitely isn't for me but perhaps after a little time away it still may be for you.

Keep well x x

liesa

must admit Tilly when i read the start of this thread i couldnt understand what was going on... i've never seen nor heard of any untoward behaviour, bless you, its certainly isnt what anyone wants to see whan theyre feeling so down and miserable, i come in everyday and just read a few and sometimes post a few and have always enjoyed beng part of this forum,
hope you have a much needed i exxpect break, but please come back soon xxxxxxx hugs xxxxxxx

tkachev

Tilly I've probably missed you now but i just wanted to say you always gave thoughtful and interesting replies to my posts and I will miss you. I haven't been supporting you very well on this forum lately, especially as you have been so unwell, time is not my friend at the moment, although that is no excuse.
Anyway I do hope you will pop back often,

Best wishes
Elizabeth x

minky67

Oh Tilly you will be missed.
I understand your reasons for leaving but please dont stay away too long.
Special ((((hugs)))) for you, debs

hileena111

Awww Tilly pet,
I'm sorry to hear that you are going but I hope it wont be for long.....as others have said...we will be here waiting for you when you come back.
I do agree with a lot of the things you've said. Especially lack of consultation when things are changed......even if we were TOLD not ASKED it would be better than nothing.
The spam is getting worse but all we can do {as a few of us do that are on early} is report the spam and leave it to the mods to delete it.Every group/forum gets spam its just up to the mods to act speedily when we do our job and report it.
The mods do seem to be making some random decisions these days and not very populare ones at that.
Anyway Tlly back to you...take a break and hopefully you will come back a see things differently.
One last thing ...I am a volunteer for Arthritis Care.....I put stands out in hospitals and docs and fill them up with the leaflets and keep going back and topping them up. I also do promotional stands and things like that......I always promote AC to people who come up but I'm getting less and less inclined to want to do that these days
Love
Hileena