Things you realise that you're getting older.

rondetto

~Your kids are becoming you...
And you don't like them...
But your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good...
Coming home is better!

~When people say you look "Great"...
They add "for your age!"

~When you needed the discount, you paid full price.
Now you get discounts on everything... Movies, hotels, flights,
But you're too tired to use them.

~You forget names....
But it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!

~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything....
Especially golf.

~Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.

~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.

~Your spouse sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he or she does in bed. It's called their "pre-sleep".

~Remember when your mother said,
"Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"?
Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!

~You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married"...
Now, "I hope they STAY married!"

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..

~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.

~You tend to use more 4 letter words ...
"what?"..."when?"... ???

~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

~Your husband/wife has a night out with the guys or gals but is home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.

~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.

~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~Now that your spouse has retired ...
You'd give anything if he/she would find a job!

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ...
2 of which you will never wear.

~~~~But old is good in some things:
Old songs,
Old movies,
And best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!

joanlawson

Very good, Ron, and very true :!: Here's a few more:

When the gleam in your eye is the sun hitting your bifocals.

When the word for something two people can do together in bed is ‘Read’.

When the nice chap turns up from Autoglass in his van, and you ask if his friend (the one leaning against the van) is OK. Then you realise that the 'mate' is actually a life size sticker.

When the song says 'Get Down' and your first thought is 'But how do I get up again?'

traluvie

*You finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.
*Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
*You wake up with that morning-after feeling and you didn't do anything the night before
*It takes twice as long to look half as good
*You can live without sex but not without glasses.
*The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... have come back in style.
*You look forward to a dull evening.
*You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet

rondetto

Ah so true.

frogmorton

Indeed

sigh........