Why is it that.

sbolam
sbolam Member Posts: 374
edited 12. Oct 2011, 15:56 in Living with Arthritis archive
people try to tell you how far you can walk or the pain your in, when they have no idea at all.

yesterday my partner was constantly trying to tell me oh your or ok its not that far to walk...you not in that much pain..just becuase I dont shout from the roof tops every five seconds "i am in pain" they think all is ok..because he has gout in his foot nothing can compare to it..so annoying.

ok rant over.
04_pain.jpg

Comments

  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Bless ya..

    I think it is hard for people to understand the pain you are in..
    I think you will have to be firm with him and say " if i tell you i can't walk that far i am saying it for a reason..i do not moan at you and tell you every pain i feel as i do not want to be moaning to you, so please try and understand when i say something to you, it is not that i can't be bothered it is because i am not able to do it"
    Firm but polite...
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • CJHunter
    CJHunter Member Posts: 1,038
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hey neighbour, Traluvie is so right, I was about to type a similar response and was beaten to it.
    :grin:

    Rant if you need to, it is ok to :smile:
    Clare xxeyeore-1.jpg
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    You could say something like, ok I have told you that I may well not be able to walk that distance, you say I can, so I will do my best but before we start out, what proviso have you got up your sleeve, if I cannot get from A to B. I need to know that before we set out.

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh dear, it is a common problem on here. I am not sure why people tend to make these judgements about what we as individuals can or cannot do: I can only attribute it to the fact they are not in pain. A short distance to them could be like a marathon to us but as they are not experiencing something similar they have no idea. I have no bright ideas about how to counter-act this, sbolam, only to grin and bear it. I do emapthise. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I like Elna's reply. It really is difficult to get people to understand, especially if you look OK. I don't look OK & people are far more understanding than they were when I did though I was often in a lot more pain.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • sbolam
    sbolam Member Posts: 374
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    thanks for your support peeps..I just needed to let of a little steam..

    We had a little chat and today he was very attentative.. :grin:

    stephen
    04_pain.jpg
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Good. That's nice to know. Of course it'll happen again but it's hard for him too to get his head round.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    well i tend to limp at moment so oh can tell it gets bit much and is very good but i find it frustrating that what you can do one day you can not another how can i expect others to understand when i do not get it lol glad you had the talk and sure he will understand better val
    val
  • sbolam
    sbolam Member Posts: 374
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    there are days when its even hard for me to get my head around..on good days I can walk 150 200 meters and on bad days..ch***t its a job just getting out of bed..so i can kinda understand his frustration but i just wish that when i say its too much he just shuts up :smile:

    stephen
    04_pain.jpg

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