Warp drive and flies

mellman01

Why is it every time I get me fly swatter or electric fly zapper out the fecking fly instantly disapears and then milliseconds later pops up the other side of the room or more impressively in a different room altogether!!, do they have hyper drives that allow them to travel through the quantum foam or what?. They must have some space time trick up their little six legged sleeves coz it ain't natural that's for sure!.

joanlawson

The thing is that they fool you into thinking it's the same fly, but actually they have mastered the art of cloning so it's really a different one. They just look all the same, that's all.

It's all part of their master plan to take over the world after the Rapture which is due to happen next Friday. Then they will take revenge on us humans for all the fly swatters (especially electric ones!) in the world. You have been warned, so better be kind to flies for the next few days.

Joan

mellman01

Oh heck I'm really for it then Joan, never thought about it before but your right, how could I have been so stupid, never think past the end of me nose,now I'll have to dig me Anderson shelter extra deep to avoid the rapture and retribution for all me fly zapping shenanigans, boy my karma's shot to hell I'm doomed, thinking about it I've seen the re-make of the day the Earth stood still, the little silicon flies will do for me I'm sure of it even if my Anderson shelter was a mile deep it wont do any good I've had it.
Can you do me a favour Joan?, Just back fill the hole once I've clocked out can you!.

joanlawson

I'm afraid that I will be in there with you, Mell. I've got a really nifty fly swatter like a little gun which you fire at flies. You just wait for them to settle somewhere, and then POW :!: :!: It works every time, and they never seem to see it coming. It works well on wasps too so gives you a feeling of power.

I fear there's no hope for me come the Rapture.

Ankyspond

Theya are just clever little buggers. xx

mellman01

No no no Len that's not right,It said that if a butterfly flaps it’s wings in the Cane and Able bar then chances are fat Kev would have a bath for the first time in his life!, I think???. Anyway me and Joan have had it, we've got blood on our hands and the flies to the right win the vote, sorry went off track there?. Nope times up the rapture awaits us both. Mind you hasn't this been said before?, if so does this mean the people who say it are mad or it's proof God has a sense of humour??.

joanlawson

rehab44 wrote:

In a similar vein they say that a butterfly flapping it's wins in China causes hurricanes in the Western World :eek: If we were to go to China and kill the butterflies then we would have nice weather

Ah, I couldn't kill a butterfly for all the tea in China

joanlawson

delboy wrote:

You have it wrong sir, the last Rapture was actually the day of judgement when those to be Raptured were chosen and I doubt whether you or Joan were on the list so be prepared to stay with the rest of us sinners.

Aha :!: How do you know I'm not one of the chosen ones :?: Apart from swatting the occasional fly, I live a quiet life.

joanlawson

delboy wrote:

joanlawson wrote:

delboy wrote:

You have it wrong sir, the last Rapture was actually the day of judgement when those to be Raptured were chosen and I doubt whether you or Joan were on the list so be prepared to stay with the rest of us sinners.

Aha :!: How do you know I'm not one of the chosen ones :?: Apart from swatting the occasional fly, I live a quiet life.

You weren't that quiet in the Horse & Jockey, still can't show my face in there.

It was the bad influence of the people I met in there