Feeling low and so useless

suzygirl · 24. Oct 2011, 11:02

Hi, sorry to moan again. I just feel so low and so useless. My latest bloods are apparently 'unremarkable' so I will be reviewed in 6 months. If that's the case why am I struggling so much??? I can't stand, walk or sit without severe pain. I am so weak and fatigued. I try pottering along, but accomplish very little.

Whats the point?? I am of no value, just taking up space at the moment. It would help if I knew what caused what. I have inflammatory arthritis, OA in neck and back and degenerative disk disease and disk problems in my back. I have severe right sided weakness, who knows why and which causes what.

I am so fed up of it all. Just need to let it out.

mig · 24. Oct 2011, 12:11

Right suzygirl thats enough of moaning YOU ARE WORTH SOMETHING,all of us are you are just having a bad time lately,we have all had bad times so we know where you are coming from,now you have had your moan you are going to start to feel better.RIGHT NOW.sorry for shouting at you .Hugs Mig

elnafinn · 24. Oct 2011, 12:26

I am so sorry to hear your are having a downer today Suzy. I am a few weeks post op from a spine op (neck end) to stop 2 vertebrae touching my spinal cord and I have suffered with my left side not doing too well. I do not feel that I am walking how I used to and the left leg feels weak and the pins and needles in hands are not much fun either. I have been told that my symptoms will not worsen now that I have had the op but I may well not get back to how I was. So I do know a little of how you are feeling at the moment. I am not in pain like you though and I am thankful for that. I take it you have had mri's and all the tests to see if you can be helped in any way.

You are most definitely not useless, you must try not to think like that, difficult though it can be at times.

Hugs
Elna x

Elna x

dreamdaisy · 24. Oct 2011, 12:55

You are battling with two kinds of arthritis, which are completely different beasts which differ in treatment but don't differ in how they make you feel. You also have the other disc problems and the weakness down one side: no wonder you are feeling so rough, no wonder you are feeling as low as you do and no wonder you are questioning your value.

Are you a waste of space? Definitely not. Are you valuable and valued? Yes, by us and your family (and the moglet). You are special but have just lost sight of your specialness for the time being. It will come back to you, of that I am sure, I just don't know when. I am thinking of you. DD

Poppyg1rl · 24. Oct 2011, 13:06

Suzy honey, I'm so sorry you're left feeling this way, it makes me so angry that you've been left in limbo. Bloods unremarkable indeed! my bloods are all over the place, they're up and down like a fiddlers elbow! My Rheumy tends to listen to me and asks how I am feeling not what my bloods say and so should yours!. As for feeling low and worthless, Suzy, you are a lovely person battling ill health and yet you still have time to come on here and support us. You have been such a comfort to me and dozens of other people here. We don't think you're a waste of space, we value you and think very highly of you - and don't you forget it

huge hugs (((((()))))) Xxxx

tjt6768 · 24. Oct 2011, 13:42

Hi Suzy. I'm sorry that you are feeling so low right now. It is true about fighting both kinds of arthur, I know myself.. You are far from useless though..
At least you know that we are all here for you..

liesa · 24. Oct 2011, 13:45

sending gentle hugs (((((hug)))))

Mat48 · 24. Oct 2011, 14:00

I do know exactly how you feel but can tell you, although relatively new to all this, that you are not useless but obviously just very low. I feel low a lot just now too. I think this is the plight of those of us with a lot of pain but who are still undiagnosed or who have been told that their bloods are "unremarkable.

It's bad enough being in pain 24/7 without the feeling that doctors don't trust our explanations of our symptoms but will only go by bloods, x-rays or visible signs of inflammation etc?

I feel your frustration and depression tonight. I'm having my inflammatory markers tested next week and already fretting that the outcome will be "unremarkable" - because, although I know rationally that I'm me and worth something beyond my own body's failures, I don't always feel that to be true. I watched the movie "Frida" about Mexican artist Frida Khalo the other night and it's been keeping me going re surviving and creating something wonderful despite/ or because of a lifetime of pain. Really recommend anyone in pain to watch this film it certainly strengthened my resolve to keep going.

Big hug (I can't lift my shoulders much just now so it will be gentle believe me!). Mat xx

dreamdaisy · 25. Oct 2011, 03:55

Morning suzygirl, I hope you are feeling a little more like your usual self today. DD

mig · 25. Oct 2011, 03:57

Hi suzygirl,hope you are feeling a little better today,sending hugs.Mig

suzygirl · 25. Oct 2011, 05:12

Thanks all, I had a better nights sleep, but still feel blah. Taking longer than usual to bounce back. Shall try to get over it.

Just gets so frustrating, this body doesn't work and the brain works overtime telling me all the wrong things.

I am hanging in there.

Mat48 · 25. Oct 2011, 05:41

Sorry you are having such a very rough time of it just now. When I feel that way (a lot recently) I think of those such as Stephen Hawkins and Frida Khalo and others who have some of the best minds or who have achieved much despite adversity? I tell myself that my body has always been a bit of a useless host for my very original mind?! Sounds conceited i know but I think we who suffer a lot of pain have some things that work better as a result of all this suffering such as our brains and our senses?

It's at least a good way to try and rise above the endless stream of pain, doctors and tests etc so please just try and focus on what is good about you today and that will hopefully push your self-esteem back up. Folks here obviously value you very highly for starters! Mat x

bubbadog · 25. Oct 2011, 06:06

Hi Suzy, Sorry your having a bad time of it at the moment, we all go through it at sometime so it's not just you. Unfortunatly you have to listen to your body and if it needs more time then you have to rest overwise you will feel yuk. You have to remember our bodies are complex things and need rest to work and if something breaks down or can't work it's like a car it takes time to fix it. I know your going out your mind but just remember we all go through it. And we are all here for you if you need to talk to someone. If you ever need to speak to someone you can PM (private messsage) me anytime and I will get back to you. Hope you feel better soon, take care. Amanda

Feeling low and so useless

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