The luxury of sleep.

Options
dreamdaisy
dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
edited 31. Oct 2011, 08:24 in Living with Arthritis archive
As some of you may know my Ma has been here for the past thirteen nights - and what blissful nights they have been for me. As she has our kingsized bed on the first floor Mr DD and me shift up to the top floor where we have a room each. Both are equipped with double beds and as we cannot share such small a space we end up with one each.

Utter, utter bliss. I have 4' 6" to myself, I can spread out or curl up, read, listen to Deadmau as loud as I want, stretch or get up to ease joints, mop up with the bathtowels if dripping and not worry about my snoring which may wake him or stop him sleeping. The end result is that I have slept amazingly well.

Tonight we are back in our five footer which means I only have 2' 6" to play in. :sad: It's too selfish to read if he is asleep, neither can I Deadmau quite so loudly, nor can I get up and move around if need be, I cannot throw off and drag back the duvet as he is very good at clamping any extra firmly to his side and above all I MUST NOT SNORE. I love him to bits, but not at night. I know I disturb him and feel very guilty about it - he on the other hand has said he can't wait to be back together as he sleeps better with me there. Just how the hell he manages to do that with the large-busty-blonde-human equivalent of a Spanish Flea alongside I have no idea. DD
Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben

Comments

  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 29. Oct 2011, 11:05
    Options
    Aw Bless ya, dear DD - he loves ya -simple as that. :grin: Do you want mother to visit more often then?

    So having mum stay does have its good points after all .... :wink::smile:

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    why not start the night together and when you wake move up to other bed where you will not disturb him and you can sleep easy for rest of night val
    val
  • nanasue
    nanasue Member Posts: 465
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I'm afraid me and OH have been sleeping in separate rooms for about 4 years, neither of us was getting a good nights sleep so reluctantly we had to part. We both snore, we both have joint problems, I have hot flushes he is a hot person anyway, it was just a nightmare, at least now we are able to have a reasonable nights sleep and no one is pointing fingers about who disturbed who, it makes for a more peaceful household.

    Sue x
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    DD, I think the solution may be to buy 2 double beds. ;) x
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I bet there are a few of us in this position.....
    OK I havent exactly got a double bed......its threee quarters but its bliss....no snoring to keep me awake.. :lol: I can get up and down as I please, move about from side to side with aches etc.....it works so much better.....but there are visiting rights :lol::lol::lol::lol:

    Love
    Hileena
  • CJHunter
    CJHunter Member Posts: 1,038
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Two double beds sounds like a plan.
    He loves ya. Hope it works out for you DD.

    Xx
    C
    Clare xxeyeore-1.jpg
  • merri
    merri Member Posts: 190
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    aww no help for you but how cute :grin: Could you start the night together and then when he's asleep, tiptoe up to the spare bedroom?
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I was going to suggest twin beds, that way when you have to get up you wouldn't disturb mr dd.

    Other than that my lovely, as others have suggested, start the night with mr dd and if you wake tiptoe to the spare room.

    I hope you find a solution and manage to sleep ok tonight.

    Love Juliepf x
  • resusjan
    resusjan Member Posts: 290
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I'm actually quite reassured to read this thread.

    My OH and I have slept in seperate beds on and off for the past year - I always thought it was strange but, I must admit, its much better that way. He likes the radio on quietly, the window open and the curtains open and I need total quite and darkness.

    Since my daughter went to uni I've been sleeping in her room every night. I love having my own bedroom.
  • Beebopaloo
    Beebopaloo Member Posts: 26
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Awww DD - such a sweet post :)
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    delboy wrote:
    We often separate as I snore am usually hot and SWMBO has a death grip on the duvet. We both sleep better when apart and it's usually me that moves to the study.


    you posh you got a study if i move and it does happen i go on settee keep some fleeses on ready and couple of pillows use them all the time to sit comphy lol slept through last night does not happen often lol
    val
  • jewelxox
    jewelxox Member Posts: 14
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hi everyone, i hope im allowed to jump in here.. my hubby has worked on night shift for the past 30 years !!! yes i did say 30 :grin: he says thats why we have managed to stay married for 42 years !!! we hardly see each other...lol...but its sheer heaven to sleep alone !!! i dont think its weird, i think its great, it doesnt mean that you dont love or care about each other any more, its hard sleeping next to someone that tosses and turns all night long and that snores so loudly they put a 747 to shame...if you can manage to get a good nights sleep and arent tired and narky in the day time it makes for a much smoother life... :grin: i read an newspaper article a while back that said that more and more couples are sleeping apart these days, and that its saved their marriages !!! ....if youve got a spare room get yourself a big comfy bed and get on in it is what i say :grin: ....
    Barbara xox
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Oh DD we to have a spare room,and I must say I am using it more and more, my OH is ok with it at the mo...he snores I am drenched...so it does work
    Like Elna says your mum is coming into her own..bless
    Love
    Barbara
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I agree with val about me shifting but the stairs are increasingly a killer - and when I have done so in the past he just fetches me back. It would be easier if he shifted but he doesn't - he prefers to prod me, hard, when I am doing my best rutting wildebeest impersonation so that I wake up and lie there fearful about dropping off again. :roll: I can see why people used to sleep together - security and warmth would be two very good reasons but now neither is applicable. I have tried to raise the subject before but he is adamant - we stay together, end of. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    So it was his turn last night to be restless and oh boy didn't we both know it. If I can't sleep I lie there, nice and still, and daydream (can you do that at night?), do the breathing exercises that AC reminded me about, do an alphabet list or two (I did body parts last night. aorta, brain, clavicle, dermis etc but got stuck on q). He, on the other hand, repeatedly huffs and puffs, repeatedly turns himself over so violently the whole bed shakes, repeatedly sits up and punches his pillow - without picking it up - repeatedly yawns with an accompaniment of a gusty sigh, oh for Pete's sake. :evil
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Hello DD...

    I the other night was sitting up in bed at 4am.. i coud not move to get down the stairs.. i could not move to try and stretch as OH was spread wide eagled over the bed..I sat there for 3 hours staring at the walls making patterns with my eyes lol..when OH finally woke he helped me to toilet and got me back in bed and decided last night he would sleep on the sofa so i had room to surround my hips in cushions/pillows and hot water bottles.. came in to check on me at 6 and said he had a great nights sleep on the sofa, and me in the bed all to myself lol...i do like him next to me as you say security and i he is my hot water bottle at night... the heat off him is unbelievable lol...but he is a big bear and twice the size of me lol so in theory he needs more room... :lol:
    I don't think there is an easy solution as you say up and downstairs is too much.. if you think of a plan let me know.. :lol:
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    dreamdaisy wrote:
    So it was his turn last night to be restless and oh boy didn't we both know it. If I can't sleep I lie there, nice and still, and daydream (can you do that at night?), do the breathing exercises that AC reminded me about, do an alphabet list or two (I did body parts last night. aorta, brain, clavicle, dermis etc but got stuck on q). He, on the other hand, repeatedly huffs and puffs, repeatedly turns himself over so violently the whole bed shakes, repeatedly sits up and punches his pillow - without picking it up - repeatedly yawns with an accompaniment of a gusty sigh, oh for Pete's sake. :evil


    oh dd, your poor love. I did have to laugh, I am sorry but my OH does the same if ever (which is thankgoodness not very often) he can not sleep.

    Sorry you are suffering and hope that you can come to some sort of solution soon

    Love Juliepf x
  • Mat48
    Mat48 Member Posts: 1,075
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Interesting post DD - do so many people drench because of meno or is it arther? I'm going through meno but have never had a night sweat yet and am not complaining believe me! Barbara - my OH also works nights and he snores when he's off work so loudly that the whole household can be woken sometimes. I snore a bit but not in his league! I agree nights to self are great but we've been off on holiday and the longer he's off work the less he snores so it must be made worse by shifts in sleep patterns I guess?

    I would just be assertive with Mr DD and say that if you wake you'll go to the bed upstairs and that's that. Nothing worse than a grumpy, tired arthritic person really so he should be relieved?!

    Mr Mat has this thing called a snore wizard - bit like a rugby guard. He rarely uses it because he says it makes his mouth hurt horribly because his teeth are so misshapen. But when he does use it it works brilliantly if anyone does have to remain faithfully next to a snoring partner i recommend you get them one - but go for the type that you can mould to fit mouth with hot water and think Silence of the Lambs in visual terms! :lol:
    If you get lemons, make lemonade
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,719
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    dreamdaisy wrote:
    So it was his turn last night to be restless and oh boy didn't we both know it. ..... He, on the other hand, repeatedly huffs and puffs, repeatedly turns himself over so violently the whole bed shakes, repeatedly sits up and punches his pillow - without picking it up - repeatedly yawns with an accompaniment of a gusty sigh, oh for Pete's sake. :evil

    Why were you sleeping with my husband????
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I thought he might make a change from mine. Hello sticky, it's lovely to see you! DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,719
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Not much of a change by the sound of it.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright