Did you hear about....?
joanlawson
Member Posts: 8,681
Did you hear about the scarecrow?
He got an award for being outstanding in his field.
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
He's fully recovered.
Did you hear about the baker who got an electric shock?
He stood on a bun and a current ran up his leg.
Did you hear about the two fat men who ran in the London Marathon?
One ran in short bursts, and the other in burst shorts.
Did you hear about the vain actor?
Every time he opened the fridge door and the little light came on, he took a bow.
Did you hear about the man who couldn't stop saying ay, ee, I, oh, you?
.... He'd got irritable vowel syndrome.
Did you hear about the pigeon who wanted to buy a famous London landmark?
He put a deposit on Big Ben.
Did you hear why there's no Christians in Heaven yet?
.... Because they're all still at the gates, saying to each other: "After you", "No, I insist after you..."
Did you hear about the man who bought a plot of land at the North Pole? He thought it would be a great place to grow frozen peas.
Did you hear what has 100 legs and no teeth? The front row at a Cliff Richard concert.
Did you hear about the man who went to a private investigator with a pencil and a thin piece of paper? He said: "I want you to trace someone for me."
Sorry folks, I can hear you all groaning :!:
Joan
He got an award for being outstanding in his field.
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
He's fully recovered.
Did you hear about the baker who got an electric shock?
He stood on a bun and a current ran up his leg.
Did you hear about the two fat men who ran in the London Marathon?
One ran in short bursts, and the other in burst shorts.
Did you hear about the vain actor?
Every time he opened the fridge door and the little light came on, he took a bow.
Did you hear about the man who couldn't stop saying ay, ee, I, oh, you?
.... He'd got irritable vowel syndrome.
Did you hear about the pigeon who wanted to buy a famous London landmark?
He put a deposit on Big Ben.
Did you hear why there's no Christians in Heaven yet?
.... Because they're all still at the gates, saying to each other: "After you", "No, I insist after you..."
Did you hear about the man who bought a plot of land at the North Pole? He thought it would be a great place to grow frozen peas.
Did you hear what has 100 legs and no teeth? The front row at a Cliff Richard concert.
Did you hear about the man who went to a private investigator with a pencil and a thin piece of paper? He said: "I want you to trace someone for me."
Sorry folks, I can hear you all groaning :!:
Joan
0
Comments
-
Groan
At this early hour too....
Morning.
C xxClare xx0 -
Good morning, Clare. It beats counting sheep anyway0
-
Well Joan after the laugh I am now ready to start my daily chores thankyou.......will get a coffee first though
Juliepf x0 -
Thanks joan.. a morning chuckle is just what i needed..
Hope you are ok luvie..xxxxxTracyxx0 -
Loved the Cliff one , visual humour . Jillyb0
-
Brilliant, Len :!:
Thanks for posting them. Nearly as groan-worthy as mine Gave me a good laugh anyway0 -
Fantasic Del
I'm all groaned out now0 -
No more you lot - please no more :shock:0
Categories
- All Categories
- 12.2K Our Community
- 9.7K Living with arthritis
- 777 Chat to our Helpline Team
- 398 Coffee Lounge
- 23 Food and Diet
- 224 Work and financial support
- 6 Want to Get Involved?
- 173 Hints and Tips
- 400 Young people's community
- 12 Parents of Child with Arthritis
- 38 My Triumphs
- 128 Let's Move
- 33 Sports and Hobbies
- 244 Coronavirus (COVID-19)
- 21 How to use your online community
- 37 Community Feedback and ideas