Hit List
tonesp
Posts: 844
Apart from Rosemary Conley(Nothing personal Just her diet) My top contender for my hit list is the spell checker on Firefox It won't accept British spelling and as for place names GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!Anyone any more?
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tonesp
Posts: 844
Comments
Candidate for a Pullet Surprise
by Mark Eckman and Jerrold H. Zar
I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when eye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checker's
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
On hiccough, thorough, laugh and through?
Well done! And now you wish perhaps
To learn of less familiar traps?
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard but sounds like bird
And dead: it's said like bed not bead -
For goodness' sake don't call it 'deed'!
Watch out for meat and great and threat
They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.
A moth is not a moth in mother
Nor both in bother or broth in brother,
And here is not a match for there
Nor dear and fear for pear and bear,
And then there's dose and rose and lose -
Just look them up - and goose and choose.
And cork and work and card and ward
And font and front and word and sword
And do and go and thwart and cart -
Come, come, I've hardly made a start!
A dreadful language? Man alive,
I'd mastered it when I was five.
We have a glorious language, but only if your aural and visual memory are up to a reasonable speed: if not, you stand a good risk of being sunk, especially by those who regard the whole business of reading and writing as a doddle because they can do it with ease. It isn't, far from it.
(It is important to descend an entire octave while saying this.)
So Louis Walsh must be the 1st on the hit list, then jedward!
We were watching the tennis yesterday and Mr DD said (not knowing about this thread, obviously) 'Andrew Castle: that's a man I would never tire of punching.' DD