Pregnancy?

CatherineGB

Hi. I'm new to this site. I have RA and have had it for 5 years. My husband and I have only been married a few months but as I'm 38 we feel that if we're going to have children that we need to be thinking about it soon. I'm on methotrexate and my RA is still not under control. I just had a rheumatology appointment and discussed the options re getting pregnant. It all sounds a bit depressing and I'm just wondering if anyone could give me any advice on how they've managed coming off their meds, having steroids instead, etc?

stlucia

Hello
I write a blog about this very thing! If you click on my username you can find the address. If it's not clear, pm me. I am not allowed to give out the address just on the board. I hope you find it helpful. x

resusjan

Hi,

Can't offer advise as my child bearing days are well and truly behind me (at least I hope so!), just wanted to say good luck.

Jan

CatherineGB

Thanks for the details of your blog, it's really honest and therefore helpful. I'm a Christian too so good to read about your faith too. I'm really going to have to think and pray about whether I'm prepared to go through all that pain.

Thanks to you also Jan for your kind message.

jenzie06

Hiya
I had my gorgeous boy 19 months ago and have had RA and Fibro for 13 years.
Really recommend a book called 'Arthritis, Pregnancy and the Path to Parenthood' by Suzie Edward-May. She has a website.
I was just on steroids during my pregnancy and only had one dose of oramorph throughout the whole time. I think you can have opiod drugs during pregnancy but your baby will be born addicted and will have to go through withdrawal. I was determined not to put my baby through that but it all depends on the person and how painful the RA is. Totally personal choice and I may be completely wrong (sorry!). I had to be drug free for a year before getting pregnant and had a wash through (not as gross as it sounds). It was just a wall-paper paste-type drink which binds with the drugs and flushes it out of your system.
My arthritis did calm down during the pregnancy (but don't rely on it!!) and to be honest it did seem like I was the first and only person to be pregnant and to have RA with regard to the doctors. A little useless but I've found a lot of the time you have to look after yourself.
I was very lucky and had an easy pregnancy. I would definately take the time to rest and relax as much as you can (once the baby gets mobile it gets harder!!).
I don't know how mobile you are or how your RA affects you but I was worried about caring for the baby once it arrived. I also saw a gynae consultant because I was on steroids and had concerns about the birth (ended up being induced a week late and had a completely normal birth with Pethidine and gas and air - had an 8lb baby!). I contacted the adult social services department of my council (had visions of them arriving in a social services van and being branded a bad parent). I was assessed for Direct Payments, which meant the council give me a bit of money to employ someone to help me. They call it 'Parent Enabler'. Initially I employed my Mum (just carrying the car seat without the baby was impossible!) and she helped a lot. But she has become ill this year so I've had to find someone else. She helps me look after Harry, carrying him around, changing nappies when I'm tired, putting him in the car seat, sometimes just crawling about on the floor with him. We go to playgroups and soft plays and I can't crawl about or go on a bouncy castle so she does that. She also helps me with the housework, cleaning bathrooms, making meals, lugging baskets of washing about.
The Disabled Parents Network is also a great resource. They can help if you are interested in the Parent Enabler thing.

Being a Mum is hard work especially with RA but it's really worth it. Harry makes me laugh every day. He's just started tantruming, so I think it's going to be an interesting year!

Take care and I hope something that I've written can be helpful to you.
Good Luck with your decision and don't be put off by the doctors!!

Jen xx

jenzie06

Sorry for the enormous post!!

P.s the support I received on here was fab!

CatherineGB

Thanks for your message Jen. It's good to hear of the support Social Services offered you in caring for your son, I never would have thought of that. My RA is still not under control at the moment (is it ever though?!) so the doctor suggested we try and do that first. Seem to be heading towards anti-TNF treatment so we've got quite a few decisions to make.

Love Catherine.x

frogmorton

Hi Catherine

I have no real advice to give l was lucky enough to be pretty well when l had my kids. l would like to wish you the very very very best of luck for a quick conception; an easy, safe pregancy, (and delivery) and a perfect baby.

Just like Jenzie had x:-D Baby H was as far as l remember our first forum baby x;)

Love

Toni xx

[Deleted User]

Hello Catherine,
Welcome to the forum. I am in a very similar position to yours. I'm 33 and have RA for the last 8 years. I too want to have a family but my arthritis is relentless and I can say, that I don't know what a remission is :sad: . I have been asking my doctor about getting pregnant for about 2 years now but have been told to wait if I can. My arthritis is very active and I am told it needs to be 'calmer' first because inflammation will affect fertility, not to mention that you really want to feel a bit better before your main drugs are stopped. I am on rituximab now and hoping that I will feel better soon though I must say it's taking its time...
I know it all sounds a bit depressing and so I have cried many times about it. But I have to have hope. Lets try to be positive and strong.
Good luck.

charlielou86

Hiya i am going through a similar thing to give you some idea of what to expect check out my blog which you will see on my profile and then message me if I can help you more xxx

CatherineGB

Thanks Charlie Lou for telling me about your blog, I just had a quick look and will have a proper look later. It's so helpful to hear others' experiences, especially as I don't know anyone else with this condition.
Thanks also to Toni for your lovely message.

Nesia, thanks for your message. I'm sorry to hear that you're in a similar situation. I too have been told to wait til my arthritis is under control but who knows when that will be? I'm wrestling with whether I could cope with all the likely pain even before we try to have a baby (I was told you have to be off the meds for 6 months) and the impact of the pain on my wellbeing. My husband is being really supportive but it's hard to imagine not being able to give him a child. Keep in touch with how you're doing. x

[Deleted User]

Hi Catherine,
I think I understand your fears completely. We are told to wait for the RA to be under control but in the meantime time is running out (tic-toc...) and the arthritis is not improving. It's a vicious circle. You shouldn't think though that you won't be able to give your husband a child. Try to be positive. I know it is hard. Last year I wanted to start going through the process of stopping my drugs before trying for a baby but was instead put on rituximab and told to wait for at least a year. I think that the 6 months you talk about applies to mtx only but I don't know what other drugs you take.
It's nice to see people offering you their blogs to read. I would look too but for now it would be too upsetting. Hopefully I will be able to do it soon. Wishing you all the best.

tkachev

I'd like to offer you my best wishes. I had a daughter at 40 after 4 painful years of R.A. Luckily I wasn't on MTX or anti tnf's at the time that all came after. You should get the mtx out of your system and keep in touch with your rheumatologist and nurse.


Elizabeth