Bus driver made me feel small

duvarayi · 29. Dec 2011, 13:11

Hello everybody

I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas. My health has gone down and have been nowhere near the cooker in months but a friend had us for christmas.
On 23 my daughter went to pick wheelchair from loan DABD as I am in agony 24/7. A walk that used to take me less than 5 min took me 30min,she took me to GP for sick note. That was unbearable as my knees,back,waist etc are so painful sitting or standing.By the time we got back I was in tears.
She asked me to go with her on 24 to buy food for big day. I agreed and on our way back, there were 2 buggies,1 with bags of presents and us at the bus stop. bus came and my daughter signalled to the driver we were getting on. The buggies got on and he told us he has buggies so we can't get on. He left us there,I was cold and shivering and I felt so small and was in tears. He actually spoiled my Christmas.
Am I being too much sensitive or what. If I could walk even 1 step without being in pain I would but I can't. What am I suppose to do now. I have rheumy appo. on 3rd but I just start crying when I think of going on a bus again.

sailrib · 29. Dec 2011, 13:39

This has happen to me with a bus before when I was in a wheelchair.

We have stagecoach near me and they have a rule that wheelchairs take priority but I was not allowed on. I went and complained and now they have had more training regards wheelchairs.

I had another bus driver move on before I got my brakes on and I went flying. I also complained.

You are not been to sensitive, definitely not. 99% of the time, pushchairs can be folded but they always seem to have to much shopping on the back.

Dont put yourself down.
There are people about, that just dont think.

Stay positive.
xx

salamander · 29. Dec 2011, 13:49

If you are in London wheelchairs get priority over buggies so am sure it is the same everywhere. If there are buggies on the bus, they have to get off or fold their buggies up and let the wheelchair on. I would send a written complaint to the bus company and ask for their policy on wheelchair access and an explanation as to why you were left by the side of the road.

Can you ask the hospital to send an ambulance to pick you up for your rheumy appointment? They should be able to arrange that.

Please don't allow this to make you feel small but fight back if you can. If you complain it might make them tighten up their policy.

CJHunter · 29. Dec 2011, 13:53

sailrib wrote:

This has happen to me with a bus before when I was in a wheelchair.

We have stagecoach near me and they have a rule that wheelchairs take priority but I was not allowed on. I went and complained and now they have had more training regards wheelchairs.

I had another bus driver move on before I got my brakes on and I went flying. I also complained.

You are not been to sensitive, definitely not. 99% of the time, pushchairs can be folded but they always seem to have to much shopping on the back.

Dont put yourself down.
There are people about, that just dont think.

Stay positive.
xx

Well said. I know easier said than done, but you hold your head high and speak up. Do talk to the company and telk them what happened, ask them for their wheelchair and buggy carrying pressie policy. Will bet you wheelchairs would take priority!!!

Take care and all best on 3rd, u make sure u go.

elnafinn · 29. Dec 2011, 15:11

Aw, poor you. I can understand how you must be feeling but do try not to let it get to you. You have as much right as anyone else to use public transport. Find out what the rules/regs are where you live and if the driver was in the wrong which I am sure he probably was, to get it sorted for you.

In the meantime, do you have a Red Cross Escort service where you live? Perhaps you could arrange to use this for your forthcoming hospital appointment.

"The Red Cross provides an escort service to enable disabled people make short or long journeys that they would otherwise find difficult. Escort services include providing a companion for a journey on public transport, a private car with a driver or a Red Cross ambulance. A charge is made."

I remember using the private car with driver service years ago when I had to get my prem baby to an appointment at the local hospital and no one was available at the time to drive me there. You do have to make the arrangements in advance.

Chin up,

Hugs
Elna x

stickywicket · 29. Dec 2011, 15:13

Hello again, duvarayi. I'm so pleased you are back with us though sorry it's because things have not been good for you.

I'm afraid I can't offer any suggestions about buses and what should or shouldn't happen on them as it's years since I could get on one. However, I think the others are right. You should tackle this matter head on, ask whatever bus authority it is what should have happened and then you will know your rights for the future.

As for the hospital appointment - you should be able to ask for transport. Normally, it's the hospital outpatient department which you are attending that you need to ring to arrange it though sometimes it can be your GP. I suggest you sort this out asap as 3rd Jan is very soon in terms of working days and they do, usually, require some advance notice.

You ask if you are being 'too sensitive'. Pain makes all of us too sensitive, duvarayi. I doubt there's a person on this form who hasn't, at some time, been reduced to tears by an insensitive, careless remark or action simply because it proved the final straw in an appalling day, week etc. just as your bus incident was for you. It helps if we take control. In your case this means ensuring it doesn't happen to you again. Learn your rights and insist on them.

Please let us know how you get on on 3rd January. I hope your rheumatologist will prescribe something that really helps you.

frogmorton · 30. Dec 2011, 04:10

I a so so sorry you had such an awful experience. I dont think you are being too sensitive at all....l know l would have felt exactly the same as you x:(

As for the 3rd we will hop in your pocket if it helps and be 'there' for you to support you? It helps a lot of us to know we have the strength of people on here behind us for this sort of thing.

Take care and l really hope you feel more yourself soon

Love

Toni xxx

duvarayi · 30. Dec 2011, 07:34

Thank you kind people for taking time to reply to my rambling and rant x:oops:
The bus company policy is indeed 'wheelchair has priority over pushchair'. I have taken your advice and called the bus company and unfortunately we never took the registration but they have taken the complaint. I don't know what is going to happen next.

The second buggy had shopping only,no child and the space can even take one normal buggy and wheelchair.I used to argue with people with pushchairs when they would be refusing to fold them so a wheelchair could get in the bus and get abuse which never bothered me much.

I know some people can be so cruel and not care. A lady once had an asthma attack and people were just passing her and I went to ask and she just pointed to her bag and I helped her get her pump. On halloween night my daughter saw a man on the floor in the town centre and kids wereabout to throw eggs at him and she went to his aid while other people were telling her to leave him as he was just drunk. The man had just lost his wife,diabetic,was having an epileptic fit while coming from the shops. My daughter called ambulance for him.

I've had someone tell me arthritis is for OLD people,one told me to snap out of it.I've been having the luck of meeting small minded people in this short time of my life with this dreadful arthritis.

You should have seen the faces of the other passengers looking at us as if we were aliens,not even one tried to speak out to driver.

I am trying my best to feel positive and am failing dismally I'm afraid. I now hope with your help and kind and encouraging,comforting words I'll get there at the end. You all know and have experience with living and coping with arthur.
I'm triying to ask for help with the transport on tuesday.With you guys and dolls in my pocket I will feel safe and have the courage to ask questions,I have these things in my hands,knees,ankles which are like swelling but feel like there is fluid inside,does anyone know what they are? The ones in my knees get bigger after any physical manouvers.

If you've read this far,thank you ever so much. It means you are following some of the things going through my mind and it's very depressing. Sorry x:oops: I have no one to bare my soul to.I hope you understand.

Babs xoxox

babytiger · 30. Dec 2011, 08:58

Hi Babs Big hugs from me . There is nothing worse than ignorant people and there are plenty going about ,customers where I worked used to say to me you dont know what arthurs like your too young ,used to really annoy me, even now when they see me getting out car with crutches I get some really funny looks.
Keep strong we are all behind you and gpod luck on the 3rd.
This is a great site to let off steam and we are all here to give support whenever.
Love Eileen x

stickywicket · 30. Dec 2011, 09:00

duvarayi wrote:

I am trying my best to feel positive and am failing dismally I'm afraid.

No, you're not, duvarayi. You sound much more positive today and I'm so pleased you've taken steps with the bus company. Even without a registration number, they should know who the driver was given route and time. He might simply have not known the rules but that's no excuse - he should have known them and also shown a bit of humanity and common sense.

It isn't easy - or even possible? - to feel positive all the time in the face of relentless pain. None of us achieve that. But talking to others helps put things in perspective. There are some very uncaring people about who are concerned only with their own interests. But there are also some wonderfully kind, caring ones (A lot on this forum but don't tell them I said so - we don't want them getting big-headed x

) Sometimes it's a matter of trying to forget about the former and sticking with the latter.

Probably what you are feeling round your joints is, indeed, fluid. It tries to protect the joints from damage but also tends to cause it's own problems when there is too much of it. It also has a distinct tendency yo disappear for doctors so it might be a good idea to take photos of your joints when they are bad to show to the doc. Also make a note of where (and when) you get pain.

Finally :roll: you're wrong, duvarayi. You have lots of people to bare your soul to. You have us.

dachshund · 30. Dec 2011, 10:05

Hi Babs.
i cannot use bus's my balance is not very good.
have you got dial a ride where you live they come and pick you up at your home take you where you want to go and then take you home with your shopping and a wheelchair my sisters in a wheelchair.
we go everywhere with them.
take care.
joan xx

duvarayi · 30. Dec 2011, 12:30

Hi everybody

I've taken your advice and called local DIAL but there was no answer. I also tried GP but was told 7day notice is required so no luck there as well.

7th I have the dreaded ATOS medical and when I told them about my mobility problems,was told to fax GP letter to state that. Receptionist told they'll call so my daughter picks it,I should just take this with me on the day. I've never been to this so I am sick with worry. I would just do what ATOS told me to so I'll ask her to go fax it as receptionist won't.

I,however left x:shock: They charge £40 to £80 for medical report which he thought it's what I was after initially,mind you I was thinking of asking for this.As I don't even have high hopes of passing this as I've heard of people with far far worse medical conditions than me being refused.
I am going to have to ask the hospital for one if they can give me. They didn't give me report for first consultation so I don't know if this is normal procedure but I get my son's reports for every visit for peads.

We have no other choice but the bus

If only it could have a bed for me to lie down as my back,shoulders,elbows,wrists and knees will be screaming with pain and I'll be so stiff and sore,shuffling my painful ankles.

x:oops:I've done it again, sorry.

Thanks once more for listening and your patience.

Babs

Ayr · 30. Dec 2011, 15:05

Hi all,

Like most of you, I feel that bus drivers treat me unfairly. Although I only use a stick, but if there are no seats, bus drivers won't tell people to move to help me out. I have to try and stand for however long the journey is.

I've been told, like so many of you, that I'm faking it and that I'm young enough to stand. I don't feel right taking seats of pensioners, and if one offers me a seat, I turn them down.

I don't know how much longer I will be able to stand up on the buses for as my hips are starting to suffer and I can't even stand up for small periods of time

jenzie06 · 30. Dec 2011, 15:35

Sorry you had a bad experience and you are feeling so rough at the mo.

I had a lovely experience on a bus in London. I was in a wheelchair and at first the bus driver wouldn't lower the ramp so I could get on, then they wouldn't let me off. We were pressing the button and shouting but it was really crowded and the driver ignored us. In the end a woman barged her way to the front and gave him a thick ear for being an inconsiderate ****. Lovely lady. We had to take the bus as attempting to take the tube was too difficult.

Don't worry about Atos. They really are not worth the bother. I've been through the whole process from first application to tribunal. The medical is a right pain. The doc in my medical was a bit rubbish but other docs have been better with more understanding of the condition. Don't do anything in the medical which causes you pain. I tried to do everything but it doesn't help you in the long run. Good luck with it though and keep telling the doc how rubbish you feel (I was 3 months pregnant when I did it and felt a lot better than normal but who is going to employ a pregnant disabled woman?!).

duvarayi · 30. Dec 2011, 16:03

Ayr,I know how you feel but I never passed a seat,sorry, :oops: . I use a stick as I can't lift feet off the ground,wheelchair is a loan it'll be taken next week. I fell in the bus once and cried. :oops:

jenzie06 I used to be that lady in my distant past with passengers and drivers but unfortunately no energy now.Went to son's school perfomance,on my way back driver didn't stop for me to get off,yes I had pressed the bell in good time.

I think prednisolone is contributing to my mood as well but no relief for the pain

As for ATOS what will be will be.

Bus driver made me feel small

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