Meltdown today

dotty123

Sorry all, I just have no-one to share my groans with and I can't talk to my husband because I am pretending all is well. I don't want him knowing how I am feeling.

Since summer last year my OA crept its way to my hip and it just used to come and go. But just before Xmas it played up and hasn't eased. I have pain in my hip and down the front of my leg and even my bum cheeks hurt ( what is that all about ) Even rolling over in bed sends pain.

I feel so low today and keep crying about what the future holds. At 43 yrs of age I feel like a lady of 84 . I can't bare the thought of losing mobility. I haven't taken pain killers tho I do have co-codine but I don't find it of any help other than stop my toilet motions .. I don't want to start becoming dependent on pain killers as surely that would have some long term problems.

I have a doctor appointment tomorrow, but know it will be a waste of time as he will just tell me off for not taking pain killers and there is nothing that can be done.

Top it all I think I am pre-menopausal with night sweats and so basically I feel like crap . Severe head aches that go all down my face and deep in my eye.

So today I am feeling sorry for myself and would like a gentle hug please.

xx
Dot

julie47

Hi dotty123
I am sorry that you are feeling so down and in so much pain BUT
I will only give you a hug when you have been a good girl and taken some pain dullers .



Right ((((((((((((()))))))))))))))
No one likes to take tablets but to keep your pain under control it is a must.

Perhaps you can ask your gp tomorrow if there is some other tablet you could take that will be better for you toilet situation. Also ask to be referred to a pain clinic. Perhaps if he is of no help see another dr.

I would also speak to your husband and let him know how you feel, your anxieties of arthritis. Perhaps he could come tomorrow with you as moral support?

I don't really know what else to say , I just hope that you can get the right help soon.

Love Juliepf x

dreamdaisy

There is little else that your doctor can tell you as sadly there is little else to be offered apart from anti-inflammatories (if appropriate). It is possible to take pain relief without becoming addicted to it (I am aware there is some risk, perhaps some other form of pain relief would suit you better?) I find that if I take too many co-cos I become constipated so my doctor gave me Docusate capsules to help that (which they do, as does eating figs) and I find that resting helps the painful joints.

Arthritis is a demanding master, it demands our full attention every now and again else it sulks: mine is sulking at the moment so I am marooned on the sofa. I used not to tell my husband how I was feeling a) because it never altered that much and b) I didn't want to bore him or me but I then discovered he felt excluded: he knows he cannot help in any way but he prefers to know so that at the very least he can make me a cuppa. It is important to keep the channels of communication open as arthritis affects everyone in the family, not just the person who has it. Rest as much as you can, keep up with the dullers (they have a cumulative effect and do give some relief), keep hydrated to help the bowels and eat some roughage, and I hope things ease soon. it is miserable, isn't it? We can all empathise with that. (()) DD

flossy47

I know exactly what you mean. I had a bad night and can hardly move today. I have a problem with pain dullers as well. I have to agree with dreamdaisy about talking to your husband and taking the dullers. I wish my husband was here to help me but that's are different story that i won't go into.

ritwren

I'm so sorry you feel like this and it sounds to me like your GP appointment tomorrow is definately in order. There are other slow acting painkillers that might help with your pain and as they're slow acting they
might be less likely to be addictive and should have less side effects too. Do please discuss this newer or worse pain that you're having in your hip.
Have you ever tried a TENS machine? if you get an appointment with a physio at the hospital they can perhaps show you how to get a reliable one and how best to use it. This is what I did and I found it helps sometimes along with the pain meds.
I know sometimes it's not easy to discuss how you're feeling with your nearest and dearest but they can often be of some support and sometimes just getting things off your chest can help too.
Trying a hot water bottle or heat pack to the affected joint can offer some relief and if that does not work then perhaps a cold pack would help? Rest of course is needed as much as possible and that is where nearest and dearest could help as well.
As to the menopausal symptoms then they could also be discussed tomorrow with your GP. There are medications/patches/ which can help relive the symptoms but you need to discuss this with your GP.
I do hope you get something sorted out soon and start to feel a little easier.
Rita.

dotty123

Thank you I have given in and taken some pain killers and will have another hot bath later depending if the demanding teenagers of the house will leave me in peace ! not the most understanding ! they are always moaning that I am moaning and miserable ( bad mother I am ) its just hard to act jolly all the time.

Thank you again, this is such a warming site

xx

dibdab

Hi Dotty,
Hope that your day is getting better. It is so demoralising and isolating to feel that no-one understands or really cares- gentle hugs coming your way.
Have you tried taking less aggressive painrelief more routinely to give it a chance to work? My GP suggests keeping up ther level of ibuprofen rather than taking isolated ferocious pills-it seems to help me-maybe your GP can suggest something more tolerable?

Blessings
Deb x

mouseymousey

Its later in the evening & I've just logged on, so I hope you are feeling a bit better Dotty. Some days are like this aren't they? Try to take it a day at a time if you can? Its a &&&&& this arthritis, so many things that 'other folk' (the non arthritic) just don't understand. Take care of yourself xx

bubbadog

Hi Dotty, so sorry to hear your in alot of pain hope you get your pain meds sorted so you can get some relief from the pain soon.
I send you a gentle hug as you requested! Take it easy and hope the pain eases off soon Dotty.

dotty123

OMG How bad and much did my Dr make me cry this morning. I am so angry and upset, I can't even go to work cause I am puffy eyed blotchy mess.

Went doc this a.m first thing he laid into me saying I have not taken my anti-d's regular, I admit I forget the odd day but I had some spare ones from long time ago, which I gave up and then used again when I went back on them , so yes the time period does look like I have forgotten but he wouldn't believe me. He was going mad and and threatened not prescribe any more.

Then he told me off for not taking my pain killers every day, when I said they don't really help me.

By then I was in tears and just clammed up. Tried to explain about my hip pain... he said if it was my hip it would be more in my pelvic.. not the side or bum cheeks. He said it might be some swelling.. he reckoned i had a good grip with hands ... (yeah right )

He said there is no test to see if i was menopausal, so my night sweats are stress related, as too the headaches... and I would feel better if I took my meds regular... ( I do, I miss the odd day ) cause I am frigging making sure the family are all sorted and yes I neglect myself.

I am so mad at the moment, hence the doggy typing. For a patient who is depressed and has lots of head issues and body issues , he was well out of order to make me feel worse. If I was fit person who was well organised and focused then I wouldn't be in such a mess.

Sorry to rant, I have just rang the surgery and spoke to the lady on reception who is really nice, I complained to her and said I was gonna go else where after 28n yrs at that practice. She was nice bless and has talked me into going back tomorrow to see a different doctor. She said she will talk to him before I see him and explain what happened this morning.

I am supposed to be at work, but I just can't face anyone now

xx

flossy47

Sounds like you've had a horrendous morning. Why do some GPs treat their patients like this. I thought it was supposed to be a caring profession.
I'm sending you lots of hugs. (((((()))))).

Glad the receptionist seemed to be more understanding.

dotty123

Thank you Flossy (()) I need TLC not a bollocking. Hip bursa is what he suggested ! whether that is good news or not I don't know. He didn't explain what it was and made very little on it. Think I must have wasted his precious time today.. I am calming down now.. Just on my third coffee and 2 lovely mince pies.. I also comfort eat ! and tried to tell him that aswell , but over the head. There I was this morning revealing all, so that I can sort myself out and he makes me go back to my bad habits. Thank god its too early for a drink or I would be hitting the bottle.lol

stickywicket

It was brave of you to ring the surgery and sort out a new appointment, Dotty123. I suggest you now take the rest of the day out, do whatever makes you feel good and not think about tomorrow for a while yet.

When you're more rested and relaxed decide what you want from tomorrow's appointment and write down any questions you want to ask.

I don't know about anti-depressants but I know lots of medics advise taking paindullers regularly when stuff is bad rather than waiting for it to get really bad. Once you are in a routine it becomes easier to remember. You don't need to take them with meals if that's difficult, just remember to take some food with them - a biscuit or some fruit usually does the trick for me.

I've had two THRs and the pain has always been in the affected groin or just above the buttock at the affected side. I've never had pain in the 'cheeks' so this might be something different.

I hope you get a good appointment and feel you've got somewhere with it. If not, you still have Plan B ie change practices. Good luck.

dreamdaisy

None of the meds we are on are ones we can pick up and drop after a couple of days, in the mistaken belief they are not doing much, as they all take time to get into one's system, pain dullers included. I wanted to come off my Citalopram (anti-dep) as my mood is so much better but my rheumatologist disagreed as she says they also help with pain relief - which makes sense if you think about it: better mentally, better able to cope with pain etc. It is difficult to keep up with them all, I think we all struggle with that from time to time but it is so important to be as regular as possible.

I suspect your GP was hoping to galvanise you into action: although you may wish for sympathy (and yes, need it and deserve it) being a bloke he probably took the view that because you are not being regular with the medications then perhaps you are not playing your part as well as you could. (I remember once moaning to Mr DD about all the meds and how much of a chore it was and I wasn't going to physio and he gave me a ticking off, pointing out that others were trying to help me so I had to help them to help me.) You may well have others to look after but you can only do that best if you are also looking after yourself. Here's a new year's resolution for you, Dotty: remind yourself on a daily basis that YOU are important, that YOU matter first with others coming a very close second, that YOU need to be looking after you. How about getting one of those weekly pill organisers? I know that filling them once a week can be a chore but it does mean that you can see at a glance if a dose of summat has been missed: I would be lost without mine!


I don't to these often, so brace yourself: ((((((())))))) And have some flowers too.



It will all get better my lovely, just be kinder to yourself, yes? Keep up with the meds, get some new anti-deps etc, be regular with the dullers and I hope you feel better soon. DD

traluvie

Hi Dotty,

Sorry to hear that you had such a horrid appointment and i hope your next one goes more smoothly..
As others have said if the tablets are not taken daily then they do not work as well. I myself was very reluctant about taking so many meds, but now i realise i have to in order to get some pain relief..
If you are forgetful(like me) then you can purchase a pill pot and place your tablets in there accordingly, i have to have this otherwise i would forget loads(although i still do at times lol)..
Hope things improve soon, you take care..xx

dotty123

Right I have got myself a pill pot and no more forgetting. I am still upset on how the doctor dealt with me, had it put it in a nice way I wouldn't of been so upset and dealt with it better. But to be told off like a naughty school girl wasn't professional to me.
I have another appointment tomorrow with a different doctor. This time I have written it all down so I don't have to speak until he decides on what to say to me.
I have completely clammed up and my barriers are all up and I am going to find it hard to open up now.

Will post tomorrow and thanks for listening and the hugs

xx
Dot

dotty123

Update

Saw a different Dr. I am having a blood test done on Tuesday to see where my bloods are at and if there is any change. Also a test to see if I am pre menopausal ( tho the horrid Dr said there is no test )

Having a scan on my hip, but he agrees it could be a bursa and can be eased with anti - flam 's

My headaches could be because my BLOOD pressure is high ( the horrid doc didn't check this out ) Also to get my eyes tested, tho my eye sight is perfect , he would like to know all is o.k behind the eye.

So hopefully we can rule all the nasty stuff out and conclude that all my woes are stress related ( apart from the obvious OA )

And a councelling for other issue's that need addressing.

So feel a bit better today.

Tho my son lost his job today.. so more stress

stickywicket

Well done, Dotty123! I think that's a good result, isn't it? Obviously not good that you seem to have much stress-related stuff going on but very good that you got yourself organised, saw a different doc and had the courage to go through with it all. It is so hard to do this kind of stuff when we are at a low ebb.

I'm sorry about your son losing his job. I hope he'll be able to find another asap. But I'm still pleased that you have made things happen.

dotty123

Thank you very much xx

skezier

Hi Dot,

Oh flower I am late to this but glad your feeling a bit better. Its good to just have behind the eyes checked.... there is some things gong on behind mine and well they are right to get yours checked and thy are probably fine.

I am sorry about your son and his job, and try not to stress so much cus its our worst enemy, believe me that I do know!

I agree s much with Sticky, you have done so well to see someone else and get some help! Well done on the counselling... it really does help.

Dot sometimes it all gets too much for us all and this lot do know how you feel and will be there for you. hang in there and tomorrow will be a better day.

Leaving a fix all cuppa ( I live on tea when strssed ) and a hope a well as a ((((( ))))) Cris xx