sent home from work...had a breakdown, feeling so down

peridotlouise

i'm struggling so much, at the same time of being diagnosed with RA, my bf of 5 years broke up with me because he decided he would rather be single and dropped me like i was nothing, i lost my home we got together, back living with my parents, lost money, ex has messed my head up completely. i went for my first blood test today as now in 3rd week of sulfa, went back to work, and broke down. so embaressing. work want me to get signed off for a couple of weeks to get my head straight. i dont sleep anymore, i cry everyday. it's all got too much. as if im not going through enough pain emotionally, i have this aswell. i feel like i've lost everything.
i feel very much alone, none of my friends understand RA. i try to put on a face that im fine and normal, and that im not feeling stiff and in pain. its just come to a head.

sorry for moaning, im just a mess.

kittymedaughter

((( gentle hugs)))) it will seem like everything is against you, but i am sure once you get your head round things, it will get a bit easier...you deserve a few tears after what you have been through, so don't beat yourself up about it, let them flow and then come back fighting back to a strong independent woman we call can be, we just have to amend the rules a little

elnafinn

Dear Louise

I just popped in the forum and could not sign off without replying. Nine people have looked at your posting but no one has posted back to you yet. I want you to know that you can get support and help on here as you have when you have called in before.

I am sure you feel like you have been run over by a bus and feel really messed up mentally, who would not? That is such a cruel blow to be abandonned by your bf of five years, especially so at this time.

I think it may be a good idea if you call the helplines tomorrow (they are closed now) and have a chat with one of the lovely, dedicated team there. Do not worry if you have a cry, they are well used to that and have so much patience it is unbelievable. If you prefer to speak with a female member of the team, just mention this when you ge through. You do need to talk with someone who really understands and is a good listener. You will get all that when you call the helplines tomorrow.

Never complain for having a "moan" on here, we understand and you are not moaning, you are telling is how is is for you. You have my sincere sympathy and if I could give you a gentle hug I would, so I am sending you a cyber one. Hang on in there, things will get better and if you and your bf do not get back together again, then it is his loss.

Chin up,

Hugs
Elna x

elnafinn

Ps The helpline number is 0808 800 4050

Thank you kittymedaughter for replying as well - you must have done that whilst I was in the middle of typing my reply

Elna x

Colin1

Louise
You poor thing you just go ahead and moan all you want, If i where with you now i would give you a big hug sit you down make a cup of tea and let you start from the begining. Thats an awful lot for any person to cope with and you are so brave coming on the sight and pooring your heart out.
I wish i had a magic wand and i could put it all wright for you, alas i only have these words and hope it will help you in the short term. We have a great gang of ladies on the site as you probably know and some of them have had the most awful time. I'm sure some of them will talk to you soon. I know what its like to be bombarded with illness and grief at the same time and its not a good place to be in. The day will come when you will feel better although at the moment it doesent seem that way. Please take care and keep your chin up
Colin
WHEN GOD GIVES YOU LEMONS MAKE LEMONADE

resusjan

Dear Louise,

Sorry for the late reply, have only just logged on. I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so down. Its not surprising really with everything you have had to cope with recently. There is absolutely no shame in having a damn good cry occasionally - I've done it plenty of times. You have had a lot to put up with recently and maybe a little break from work would be good, give you time to recharge your batteries and to start coming to terms with everything that is going on in your life at the moment.

The suggestion of calling the helplines is a good one - I've called them in the past and sobbed away down the phone to them, they are all so lovely and understanding

I send you lots of hugs and really hope you start to feel a little happier soon.

Take care xxxxx

lindalegs

Louise, I'm so sorry that this is all happening to you just now. :sad: Please don't apologise about having a moan, you have every right to. Just one of these things happening is so much and when you're in pain too it's not fair.

Please keep contact with us and vent your feelings anytime you need to.

Sending gentle hugs (((( ))))

Luv,

dibdab

Hi Louise,

Just have to add my voice to all the others and send hugs and care. You are bound to feel lousy-and showing our vulnerability is okay. Those 2 weeks off would probably do you a power of good- do something that you enjoy, something just for you.

Blessings
Deb x

flossy47

Hi Louise. Just sending you some hugs. ((()))
You are going through a hard time but the people on here are great. I only joined a few days ago and they have helped me get my mind straight.
I wish I had found this forum when I was first diagnosed but better late than never.

sailrib

((hugs))

I dont have RA but I have OA.

I know how you feel. I went to live down in Southampton to work my dream job but now I am back further up north living with my mum.

Keep your chin up, things will get better.

Since I found new friends, I feel so much better.

ruby2

Hello Louise.
I am new here and you have prompted me to make my first post, I couldn't go away without offering you my support and hugs.
You should take works suggestion to take a couple of weeks out to get your head round things.
Rest up and have some me time.
Its not the best time of year to be feeling down.
No need to apologise, I for sure joined the forum to gather support at bad times.
As mentioned previously in another post do ring the help line I can recommend them too.
Take care we are here for you.
Roo

valval

i know you do not want to hear this but you are better off with out them if that there attitude now you will be able to find some one worthy of you. i am not suprised you are in such a state it bad enough coping with one of these things but to have all this thrown at you it would take surerperson not to get in a state. as we all know arther messes with your head so off to doc explaine what going on have good cry and get some help there nothing wrong with asking for help.
you have us we do not mind screaming and shouting moaning or what ever you need ((())) for you val

stickywicket

Hello again, peridotlouise. Please don’t apologise for ‘having a moan’. You have much to ‘moan’ about and of course you’re feeling very low right now. You must feel you’re being attacked on all fronts at once – physical, emotional and financial.

You haven’t ‘lost everything’ though it must seem so right now. Hopefully the sulfa will really kick in soon, your workplace has given you two weeks to start your recovery and, quite honestly, however you may feel about your boyfriend, if he feels like that you’re better off without him. None of this takes away your devastation but it is all a basis from which you can start to build your new life.

I fully agree with Elna and Resusjan. Talk to the Helplines. You know that we, on the forum, are all here for you but there’s nothing like a real, human voice when one is really low. Things will improve. Just be gentle with yourself and give yourself time. And keep talking to us.

lindalegs

ruby2 wrote:

Hello Louise.
I am new here and you have prompted me to make my first post,................in another post do ring the help line I can recommend them too.
Take care we are here for you.
Roo

Just wanted to hijack and sneak in and say Hi to Roo and welcome to posting.

Luv,

peridotlouise

thankyou so much everyone for your replies, you're all lovely. feel a bit better now i've calmed down a bit.. taken my 3rd sulfa pill today. hoping they work and that i don't get any side effects..
it's horrible, everything bad happens at once... just too much. i'm gonna take the time off and have a bit more me time, i cant go to work like this again... my manager was really concerned, luckily she was supportive about it so that was good. hate taking time off though. i will give that helpline a call tomorrow. RA is still really new to me, and im trying so hard to accept it but it's difficult.

hope everyone's ok x

valval

peridotlouise wrote:

thankyou so much everyone for your replies, you're all lovely. feel a bit better now i've calmed down a bit.. taken my 3rd sulfa pill today. hoping they work and that i don't get any side effects..
it's horrible, everything bad happens at once... just too much. i'm gonna take the time off and have a bit more me time, i cant go to work like this again... my manager was really concerned, luckily she was supportive about it so that was good. hate taking time off though. i will give that helpline a call tomorrow. RA is still really new to me, and im trying so hard to accept it but it's difficult.

hope everyone's ok x

it a lot to get your head around and also the meds we have to take it a real worry about putting meds like this in your body but if they help it will be worth it on my third week with this med no side affects except need to drink more and yellow wee lol good luck we are all with you val

flossy47

Hello again.
I've been on sulfasalazine for about 6 months now and it has helped. Didn't have many problems with side effects. Glad to hear you have decided to take some me time. We all need to take some.

stickywicket

You are quite right, peridotlouise. It's an awful lot to get your head round but you will do it and we will help.

Paul316

Hi Louise,Just joined this site and first post,i know how you are feeling i myself just seperated with my partner after 10 years,had arthritis for 22 years(now 35)2 hips replaced and one knee replacement last year,Its good that you have decided to take sometime off,no point trying to do to much to soon,as for your bf,time heals and you will be soon back out there,sulfa never worked for me but i am hoping it gives you some relief,hope it all goes well,Paul

bubbadog

Hey Louise, I've just read your post and I just wanted to give you a big hug and say to you 'you have friends here now who understand the pain your feeling'. To have everything like that land on you, I can't understand how that felt but I guess it would be arther pain x 100!
If you want to type how you feel to get it out of your system you can do it on here and we will send you ((HUGS)) and reply.
Hope you you feel alittle better, just take things a day at a time sweetie.xx

skezier

Hi Louise,

Oh flower that's a lot to take on but you will get there and it will get easier. My ex used the conditions I had as the excuse to leave.... he was already seeing someone else at the time hence saying he used it as the excuse but he used to insult me and my inability to do things all the time and now I realize he did me such a favour.

It took so much pressure off cus he was very demanding and very nasty when he didn't get his own way. Men are more than capable of being evil verbally as well.

I do think I had got it wrong and he was actually scum but his going in the end helped me to find my own pace and not have a barrage of abuse etc. It didn't work that way originally and like you I kinda fell apart.

Got some counselling not least for the conditions I had by then as well and began to rebuild my life. It takes time but you will get there.

I couldn't have done it without the counselling and it might be something that could help you? Phoning the helplines might as well as the others have said.

Health wise it does take some 'getting used to' the sulfa might well help and with luck you will start to feel better as well. Its good you haven't got any side effects and I so hope it will make you feel much better in the body so you have less pressure on the mind if that makes sense. Hang in there flower. Cris x

jillyb1

Hi , Louise , just wanted to say hope you feel a little stronger and able to cope after all the messages of support you've received . Take some time to concentrate on YOU and to #### with the rest of the world . Thinking of you , hugs and positive vibes . Jillyb

roses1

Hi Louise,

You have had some good advice and perhaps it will help that you are with your parents to help you through.
Acceptance is the first hurdle of this damn illness to get your head round, then it will get easier!
concentrate on you and getting better (easy to say i know) then you will feel more able to cope with life.

Rant away at any time there is a lot for you to deal with but you WILL come through the other side!
((((((hugs))))))
Rose x

frogmorton

Oh Louise l a so gald you are feeling a bit better bless you you have sooooo .been through the mill :shock:

Can l suggest you try to see if there is an A/C group near you ; think it would help to eet soe others with RA - in fact l know it will because it has helped e no end.

The other thing to do is what you are already....talking on here...maybe throw in a call to the helplines if you want to and Cris' advice about counselling might help as well.

I hope to see you posting again today and that you feel way better now.

Love and HUGs

Toni xxx

ruby2

Hello Louise just checking how you are today love.
Did you manage some me time?
Not often work places promote time off so make the most of knowing you have their blessing.
love and hugs to you.

Can I thank Lindalegs for the welcome, so very nice of you I was a little hesitant to post, but needed to support Louise.

Roo

skezier

Hi Ruby,

A quick hello and welcome from me as well and never be hesitant flower. Nice to meet you. Cris x

Another ((((( ))))) for you Louise x