Don't know what to do

martyn

I've been here before and been given advice, I'm now sitting at my desk at work nearly in tears not knowing what to do.

For nearly Five years now I was told I had sero-negative arthritis, the pain comes and goes - Been on Methotrexate and tramodol and others.

Before Christmas, I was in agony, AS thou I was being beaten by a stick went to see GP - See the emergency Doctor - Get put on Methodone and My Hospital appointment rushed forward (insted of March 2012, December 2011)
See the Consultant in Aylesbury - He was very good and looked at my old notes and said - Lets start again - and went through everything.
Came to the conclusion that I may have Fibromyalgia
And I know I may just be hoping but I don't sleep, it started hurting so I did no exercise, I am stiff in the morning.....
Put on Nortriptaline, trying to exercise and have appointment for a pain clinic
Christmas was OK (Morphine works very well)
New Year things start going wrong - I was off two weeks ago with a stomach upset - I know how well the morphine is working when I've vomited up the tablets.
This week - Weekend was wonderful - slept Friday, Saturday, went to My parents on Sunday with my Girlfriend. (I am starting to feel better) staying at Girlfriends house
Sunday Night 2:00am - Girlfriends daughter rings up having a panic attack
4:00am Girlfriends other daughter starts being sick
6:00am I start being sick
8:30am I message work saying I won't be in
9:30am My Son's school rings up saying he has been sick - My Ex wife is not answering phone - So I go and pick him up and drop him off at her house (tucked up in his bed) - His big brother is ill too
Drive home.
Feel dreadful All Monday and most of Tuesday - Keeping liquid down - (Worrying about work and all the things I should be doing)
Tuesday Night - Driving Awareness Course (Yes I was speeding last year) - the course cost £95 and is not refundable - so have to go.

Come into work this morning - None of the Jobs I have to do have even been looked at. I have a scheduled meeting with my boss, Told him I'm not 100% better - Meeting over.
Find out I'm on IT user support (10 more jobs in queue)

I don't know what to do, I can't afford to lose this job, I have some many things to do I don't know where to start, My joints are starting to hurt and I feel like I'm going to throw up.

Where do I start?

elnafinn

Hi Martyn

Start by taking some deep breaths. Call the helplines here, phone number at the top of the page. It would be good if you can do that today but you will have to do this sort of pretty soon as the afternoon is going on now. They are a wonderfully dedicated team, you will be put through to someone who will listen and calm you down. You need to talk, it will not work at the moment with me writing so much to you in this posting. You really need some help now and the best way is to talk to someone. Don't worry if you break down, they will wait for you to be able to carry on talking. People on here have been eternally grateful for their patience, help, advice and support.

I am so sorry that you are going through all this. Please call the helplines number.

Elna x

barbara12

Oh Martyn...how I wish I could help you, fibro can be so painful, and I know that stress can spark things off.
It dose sound like you had a very busy time with everyone being ill, this seems to have started the cycle of pain again, is there anything that can help you relax...ie music..reading...and could you not have a word with your boss, or are they not understanding, another thing you could do is ring the helpline for details of the pain courses they run, they are very good.
I really do wish you well with everything, and please let us know how you are doing...and good luck with the driving

martyn

It's funny - writing it down helped - It seemed like the whole world was against me.
I can only do what I can do - I will ring the helpline for details of pain courses probably tomorrow now

Thank you both for responding

skezier

Hi Martyn,

Oh that's so much stress and to have a bug on top of it is really not fair. I echo Barbara and Elna, especially about the deep breaths.

I can't really say anything that the others have not already said but so hope that you soon feel better and that the bones will ease. Don't forget you get bits in between the flares and well I understand the not being able to not work so well.....

I am lucky I am self employed ... just as well cus I wouldn't employ someone as slow and useless as me :roll:

Your right it does help to write it down and thankfully there is always someone here to just be there.

Hang in there and work.....Martyn have you got any way to make things a little easier till you feel a lot better? Ocky Health might be able to help?

Leaving you a bucket of calm down and a cyber ((( ))) Cris x

elnafinn

Hi Martyn

Often writing things down makes the the situation seem perhaps not quite so bad.

I am so relieved that you do feel a little calmer now. You are right, you can only do your best, nothing more.

Sending you over a gentle cyber hug

Elna x

ps you have your cyber friends here when you feel the need to write things down. Someone will always reply

Poppyg1rl

Hi Martyn,
I feel your pain my friend, I am so glad writing things down helped you get some perspective and helped to put things in order.
Please do ring the helplines as Elna said they are fab and so supportive.
Can I make a suggestion Martyn? Start writing a pain diary, it sounds crazy I know but trust me, if writing things down before helped you so will this, it's not just for physical pain Martyn, this covers PAIN.
Start each day with a new page, if things are hurting write it down, if things are mounting up work wise and then you have to deal with sick children AND yourself, write it down.
I don't know why it works I'm afraid I'm not that clever but I promise you it will help.
Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way X

traluvie

Maybe doing a diary will help with how your feeling and emotions,,
Talk to your GP for advice if you get on well with them..
Hope things are a bit clearer for you now
Take care..

madwestie

Martyn,

I am sorry to hear you asre going through such a bad patch have you seen your doctor about the sickness things they may be able to help you with that as not being able to keep the pain killers down is not going to help they may also be able to give you some patches to help.
as for work have you had an OHS review it is possible that you may be able to get soem things done to help you at work chair,keybord specialist software etc and if you work for a small company some of the funding can come from the government to help with the adjustments.
You need to explain to them how the condition affects you.
I know what it is like to have time off and find when you go back that all of your work is still waiting i have the same problem i am very fortunate as i have a very understanding boss and he is aware that i am not always as fast as "normal" well normal now is not the same as it was 7 years ago but we can only try our best.

I hope you are feeling better soon

Tracey

frogmorton

Dear Martyn

blimey you have had a dreadful time!!!

Most of us would be in tears and feeling like it's all too much. Hope that today all those kids and you have stopped being sick and that things are improving there.

But gosh work as well?? Not surprised no-one used to do my work either for me when l was off so the pile just grew and grew :roll: At least you have told the boss and maybe as Tracy said you should see Occy health if that is what is happening and they could offer you more support.

As to the extra diagnosis....l am sorry, but maybe you will be able to get help with that too now? I wonder when you are next to see your specialist....

I am so glad writing it down helped you a bit - it often helps me too. Writing cross letter and not sending them helps as well :oops:

Anyway l hope today has dawned brighter for you.

Love

Toni xx

tkachev

That was a lot to deal with all at once but you put your family first and made sure they were safe and cared for despite feeling so awful yourself. Hopefully that was a one off.
You have got support around you so maybe they will need to chip in here and there to lessen the load.
You have had good advice on here so am hoping things have improved for you.

Elizabeth

bubbadog

Martyn, Hope you feel calmer, If you are still vomiting or feeling sick it may be worth asking your G.P for anti sickness tablets, I suffer from nausea from the meds I'm on because of the different mix of meds. So maybe worth bringing it up with your G.P at next appt?
Hope things are clearer for you now.