Hello - Parents - grr

pinkbritishstars

I have arthritis all over my body and it's really really bad at the moment.

My Parents don't understand (they don't live with me) and think if I happen to not have put my recycling out or done a bit of cleaning that i am being lazy. He has to do a lot of my cleaning as I am not able to but because I ask him if he can hoover for example he doesn't get that I have bad arthritis in my back and have been told by the back team at the hospital that I am not to hoover.

Take for example the other day my Dad asked why i wasn't wearing mysnow boots - well I knew what ever I said it was going to be wrong or that he'd get huffy and puffy, so I told him that I can't get them on as I major oedema and will have for quite a long time the hospital have said that. His reaction huffy and puffy which in turn makes me feel guilty.

He also doesn't understand when I say that I am using taxis as I am too worried about falling on the ice - he doesn't understand that for those of us on here it is really serious if we fall.

Pink

mellman01

That's awful, I have a similar problem with my once best mate he has a haeart condition and thinks pain is something I should just put up with, he's really anti me these days so I keep away from him, I also have the same kind of issue with my line manager he had a stiff neck the other month as he'd been to the gym, oh how terrible, I said try living with whiplash for 30 years then see how you feel.

valval

there is no easy answer to this they go one way or the other either does not help it easyer just to avoid them when things bad we get it and there is no way to explaine it i think you have to suffer it before you can understand it at all ((())) val

emsjane

That's terrible Pink!! As if you don't have enough to contend with without not having support from your parents!!! Of all people, they are the people you expect to get the most support and understand from!!!

I have felt like this recently too from various people in my life. We went to dinner with my partners sister last night and i was telling them a bit about my arthritis and i could see it in their faces that they don't really believe how much pain i say i am in!!

It's very frustrating and i sympathise. Everyone on this site has been so kind and they all understand, so come on here for support and understanding!

Take care x

Colin1

Hello Pink i spoke to you last week, Its a hard path we tread I have a simula problem to mell with a friend. The problem is this pink. If you had a lump on your head, or lost a limb or in plaster people could see you where lets just say unwell for want of a better word. The type of things we suffer with i call invisible illness. You cant see it or feel it and theres nothing worse than you mate calling and telling you how well you look when inside your falling apart. People dont really understand. That includes mums and Dads. I have a daughter with LUPUS and it took me some time to understand what she was going through because i can't see lupus just as people cant see my RA and PA. Have you read the SPOON THEORY if not look it up and perhaps print it off and give a coppy to your Dad. I think you should also realise that your dad still loves you and may well still see you as his little girl. It can be hard for dads to let go and although perhaps full of the wrong advice or words he behaves as he does
because he thinks its the best way. You have to sit your parents down and explkain to them in detail so that they understand and then perhaps be of more help to you.
Colin

emsjane

Colin - i just looked up the spoon theory, that's excellent and a great way of explaining things to people!!!! 8)

frogmorton

Hi Pink

l am so sorry lass

It is true that it would be easier if our pain was VISIBLE, but it isn't, so some people almost ignore it don't they?

If anything you have taught me to be careful (in the future) before judging my girls.

Hope you are doing ok today

Love

Toni xxx

pinkbritishstars

Thanks everyone.

xx