what a bad week

bounce

As the heading says what a bad week I have had, I had this past week off work to rest, relax, to go on one or two day trips just to enjoy myself.

How wrong I was, last sunday our dog got rushed to the vets, spaced out and not recoginising any of us, they kept her in overnight due to she was being ill, and we picked her back up monday afternoon as the vets were worried about her mental health as she was away from her companion and us lot, and in a noisy barky atmosphere,

wednesday morning she got rushed back in as she had relapsed over tuesday night, and they ran all the tests, xrays again, and something was very wrong, they prepped her for surgery and we lost her as they were prepping her, they couldnt bring her back.

we didnt get to say goodbye to Els, and then the hard news she had been suffering with cancer that had spread badly, and she was being treated for the past year for acid reflux, which we found out wednesday it wasnt but the big C.

we are having her cremated and her ashes bought home,

the stress levels have done no good to my arthritis causing a bigger flare up, and im really on a low level, and now I have to go back to work tomorrow, where I have to be bright and breezy to the customers I come across, its the last thing I want to do, but I have got to pay the bills each month, so I have no choice but to work tomorrow, even though my hearts still breaking, im crying a lot still, and I dont feel like eating much at all.

after 40 years+ of loving and losing pets you would think I would get better at it, but hell it gets worse with each pet we lose.

Els was my late mothers dog, and so that is another link to mum I have lost, though we still have a 5 year old JRT at home, in fact I think the dog and I are propping each other up at the moment.

I needed to get this out of my system as its the first time I have talked about it except for family, and they are grieving too in their own ways. thats why I feel I cant be honest with how Im really feeling at the moment.

Jules

CJHunter

Jules I am so sorry to hear this, this must be so hard for you.

I understand where you come from they are like our children and we never get used to it.

I hope your flare eases and you can remember the good times with her.
You know we are here if you need.


Take care (((((((((((((xx))))))))))))

bounce

Thanks for your message Claire,

Yes it is hard to lose them as they definately part of the family, and it happened so quickly, we were not prepared in any way for losing Els.

Every year I always videoed her tearing open her presents and she loved every second, the wrapping paper was completely shredded, and we took another video last xmas, though I havent loaded it up onto the computer, I will at some point.

I even got a sympathy card from the 2 vets incharge of Ellie, and they cried when they lost her, in fact the vet was in tears on the phone telling my brother the sad news.

Els was running around the day before she took unwell and at her normal hair raising speed.

I still havent been able to take it in that we wont see her again running around the house and giving us the cute look when she was after something. lol.

Hopefully the flare up will ease off, all I need is some rest and plenty of sleep, and get an appertite back.

But writing it all down has helped a bit, I was holding a lot of it back, just felt like I was in a nightmare that I couldnt wake up from.

We have even been asked if we wanted to go and get another one by friends and other family, but I know you cant replace them but this time Im not wanting to, as we still have our boy Taz. ( and he is like a Tazmannian Devil). he was well named. and he is 5

Jules

barbara12

Oh Jules my love I am so sorry that you have lost your beloved friend..I dont think you ever get used to it.
I lost my little dog 4 years ago now, and it was so hard...so I just want to send you some comforting hugs to keep you going (((((())))) and love xxx

bounce

Thanks Barbara,

I have to face the world tomorrow and Im not looking forward to it.

I have to say Ellie was 12.5 years old and acted like a one year old, she always had a zest for life.

Thanks for the love and hugs, I certainly need them at the moment.

But hopefully soon I will come to terms with it and smile at all the great memories, one was we was out walking Ellie and Taz and a well built Bull terrier came to give us all aggro, and she shot in front of all of us and acted very fierce and gave the other dog a piece of her mind, and she actually ran the other dog off, heck that dog could have had her for breakfast, but she scared him off with his tail between his legs, especially as she tried to bit his "wedding tackle" so to speak.

That was our little Els, she was the last born of the litter and she really was tiny, but with a lion heart. :-D

Thanks again

Jules

barbara12

Aww lovely memories...and the best thing is nobody can take them away and its good you have still have Taz...xxxxx

skezier

Hi Jules


I am so sorry to red your post and your right it does seem to get harder not easier.

I know one thing fr sure that even had you known what was really wrong with Els the result would have been the same so just anted to say that cus I go down the recrimination and if only road every time I lose an animal.

Bless her she wouldn;t have know what was happening and sometimes thats a comfort as well.

She sounds a lovely dog and your bound to miss her but part of her will always be with you in your heart and memories as well.

Facing the world can be tough and a knock back this upsetting can make it even herder but you will be ok and am also leaving you a ((( ))) and a hope it will soon become a lot easier and you will remember her running and playing with you with a lighter heart. Cris x

frogmorton

Hi Jules

l am so so sorry l really am. I still vividly remember the death of Eric my old cat, eased slightly by the presence of Daisycat.

Bless your poor Els. I extra understand how you feel having lost your Mum too...l find each bereavement - whether person or animal - brings back most of the previous so it gets HARDER, not easier.

I have wondered over the years why l continue to have animals when this is the outcome, but the amount they enrich my life (our lives) makes it so so so worthwhile .

All my love to you at this sad time.

Toni xx

joanlawson

I'm so sorry that you lost your beloved Els, Jules. It takes a while to come to terms with the death of an animal as it's like losing a member of your family. I've never had a dog, but several cats, all of whom I still miss to this day. Each one is an individual with their own little ways which we miss when they go, but they bring so much into our lives too.

Take care of yourself
Joan

bounce

I just want to say thankyou to all of you for such lovely words and thoughts over the loss of our Ellie.

Today we got her ashes back which we collected from the vets, also her lead and harness and her little blanket and we handed in a thankyou card to them as they worked so hard in trying to get a better outcome then what we had.

I have now got over the worst of the shock at all the events of last week, im feeling a wee bit better in myself, and Taz is helping me so much without him knowing it.

We now have to finish travelling the griefing road, and then the good memories will shine through and past the What ifs part of the loss.
We have been asked so many times as to will we get another dog, and now im replying yes when the next dog that is supposed to be in our house finds us. we have rescued so many dogs and cats over the years, im sure that they have meant to have found us and us find them, so we shall see.

Workmates have been so supportive and that has been a great help to us, even people who dont own any animals, know how much we think of every single one that have lived in our household.

So in the future you just might be hearing of a new addition to our household, when the time is right of course.

Thankyou once again for all your support, I really do appreciate it all.

Jules

suncatcher

sorry to hear about your bad week. cyber hugs joanne

skezier

Hi Jules,

Just leaving a ((((( ))))) and am glad your not ruling another animals out as good homes are hard to come by.

Yep they also find me... hang in there and Els will never be far fro you in your heart and memories. Another ((((( ))))) Cris xx

tjt6768

hi Jules. I'm really sorry that you've lost such a beloved pet.. I know the heartache that comes with it..
I hope you're flare eases soon..
Blokey hugs coming your way from me []
Keep posting, it helps to share..

bounce

Hi Cris, Tony and Joanne,

Due to the flare up going bad, my pain clinic wants me to go upto the 25 butrans patch and keep on the maximum paracetamol, but I asked her if we could defer the decision until next month, as Im under a lot of stress at the moment along with all this cold, wet weather, so she has agreed to that, but if no change then I have to up it all.

It is helping knowing that "Ellie" is back home where she belongs, and we find its better having our pets cremated and not buried, we still have her bed in its usual spot, and Taz uses both during the night, typical bloke takes up all the bed room.

If we get a phone call about another dog needs a good home, our door will be opened straight away for the new addition, when we rescued both dogs and cats they came to us with such a mixture of being unwanted, mistreated or some kind of behavioural troubles, and we have taken them all in, healed them physically and mentally, and they have shown so much loyalty and love towards us that I feel we have been given the world by each and every one of them. That is why if one comes our way we take them in as we have so much love and care to give them and to make their quality of life all the more better then what they started with.

tjt6768

both our cats Ra & Cleo were strays. I dread to think what would have happened to them.. Think we have passed on the rescue gene to our daughter Toni, who now has six rescue cats, all house cats just like Ra is and Cleo was..

lupin15

Hi big hugs..... and i am so sorry.... it does not get easier but remember all the good times that is what is really important. XXXX