Questions, observations and a wee bout of silliness

tjt6768

Right, it's nearly half three in the morning, my joints won't let me sleep so like most loonies I've been laid here pondering the things in life that have puzzled and amused me over the years:


How come, in all those cavemen films, they knew to cover up their naughty bits? They were as thick as pig shift but wouldn't flash their goolies etc.... :?
Now imagine if they'd got it wrong and thought that their hands were the rude bits, they'd all be wondering round clubbing dinosaurs over the head in nothing but a glove, with wobbly bits on display for all to see.. Be like a sleepover at Wako Jako's :shock:


How come mammals automatically know to look you in the eye? What makes them know this?? It's true, you talk to a dog or cat etc, it doesn't just look at your gob where the noise is coming from, they look you I'm the eye... :?
(this stuff really does soon around in my head you know )


Right... A good one...
When you see an ugly couple........ :? Don't you think... They've just made do? They must know at some point that they're not gonna do any better and think, oh well, this one will do, no oil painting but neither am I!!

Do people in london just call it 'the eye'?

At what point should one start worrying about the crap that goes around in ones head? I'm worried for, erm.. A friend :?


Obviously animals think, right? Do you reckon they think in different languages? Do animals here think in English? And animals in China think in Chinese? If so, and they met would they understand each other??

tjt6768

sorry boss

Puschinka

Oh Tony - fabulous!!!! Thanks for making me laugh!
I can't wait for you to tell us what bizarre thoughts go on in your head,after you've been to London and met up with your american friends...

mellman01

Meds out of balance again me lod mate?

dreamdaisy

Why do people, when conversing with their dogs, point to summat that's happening elsewhere? Dogs don't look where you point, they never have and probably never will.

Why do pheasants fly into cars?

The ridiculous and stupid warnings on food packets etc. Why does it say on a packet of peanuts that 'this product may contain nuts.' Of course it bl**dy does, that why I bought it, I wanted to eat some nuts. :roll: DD

tjt6768

blimey, I'm just imagining Len singing me a lullaby :shock: You wouldn't make me wear one if those adult nappies again would you? you know I didn't like it last time.... :?

If a duck billed platypus is the only mammal that lays eggs and produces it's own milk, can it make it's own omelets :? :?

What's white, has tears and makes a wummun go from a size ten to a size eighteen??
Wedding cake

DD, you are a loon after my own biscuit

joanlawson

Sorry I can't answer any of your questions Tony, but here's a few more to ponder:

At a cinema or theatre, which arm rest is yours?

How far east can you go before you're heading west?

Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

Why are those “easy open” food packages never easy to open?

What happened to the other 56 varieties of Heinz 57 sauce?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

No wonder we can't sleep with all these unanswered questions buzzing around in our heads :shock:

tjt6768

:shock: I'll never asleep again

Colin1

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Could you imagine what it would be like today with health and safety

Why do they call it a T.V. SET when you only get one?

How come a 'Psychic never Wins the Lottery'


Colin

tjt6768

my Doctor said I've to tell you not to encourage me :?

dreamdaisy

I'm sat here listening to a woodpecker drilling away. Do they get headaches? Or blurred vision? We need woodpeckercam now! DD

tjt6768

i think they have mini headphones on and they're all listening to AC/DC


Oooh, the train, it moves ta ra

Colin1

No they use a black and decker.
They have brains made from carbon fiber this stops the headaches
I had a job as a woodpecker beak sharpener once
Colin

tjt6768

was it just so you could pay the BILLS :shock:

Colin1 wrote:

No they use a black and decker.
They have brains made from carbon fiber this stops the headaches
I had a job as a woodpecker beak sharpener once
Colin

tjt6768

If a tree fell in space, COULD anyone hear it? :? :?

Colin1

if it falls in my space ill here it

I had to do that job i was getting hen pecked
Colin

roses1

look out of the window, can you see them?

prefabkid47

Why is a wrong number never engaged........... :?: