Hi, Welcome!

The community is a safe space for people living with and connected to arthritis to ask questions and share experiences. Get started by registering here and posting your first comment or question!

Sign In with a Versus Arthritis account

Hi, 41 yrs old and bewildered......

iammeiamme Posts: 13
edited 28. Mar 2012, 12:52 in Say Hello Archive
Hi all........

I am a 41 yr old mum to 5 (3,5,11,14,16)

I have been diagnosed with osteoartritis in both knees and am in terrible pain in one leg........

Please, can I just have advice?

How do you all cope? Walking is soooo hard, current painkillers aren't working, new appt for Dr made. Living as a fulltime Mum is so difficult, legs constantly ache (deferrred pain)

The outlook is bleak - possibly 2 new knees I've been told within 5 yrs......

I'm not being negative - but the sun has stopped shining a little!

My husband and children are very supportive, but I just need to talk to others who are there.

Tips on managing a very busy young family would help


  • stickywicketstickywicket Posts: 25,998 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello iamme and welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place. A good husband and supportive children are a massive help in dealing with arthritis but sometimes it’s also necessary to talk to people who really understand where you’re coming from and will accept a good old moan or whinge as perfectly normal.

    I think you’re doing the right thing in seeing the doc again as whatever painkillers you are currently on (I am one of many on here who call them painDULLERS as that’s all they ever do) are clearly not doing enough for you. There are many different ones and I hope your doc will give you some that help more.

    Forgive me if I smile at your statement ‘The outlook is bleak – possibly 2 new knees….within 5 years’. Many on here, desperate for new knees, would see that as good news. :) Don’t be afraid of surgery. I’ve had both hips & knees replaced and I’d do it all again tomorrow.

    How to manage the family? Well, looking at their ages, I’d say the older ones are at an age to benefit from a few lessons in independent living. Job rotas help. One of mine loved ironing so I traded my ironing for his washing. Both he and his brother liked to cook. Great by me! The other was a good, and quick, tidier-upper. I’m sure other Mums of younger children (Mine are now married with kids of their own) will chip in with a few ideas if you ask on Living With Arthritis where more people look in. There, you’ll also find a thread ‘Simple Ideas…..’ near the top.

    I hope to see you around. We’re a friendly lot so ask anything you like or just chip in anywhere. Arthritis is tough. It's better in company.
    “There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.” H.L. Mencken
  • iammeiamme Posts: 13
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    [Forgive me if I smile at your statement ‘The outlook is bleak – possibly 2 new knees….within 5 years’. Many on here, desperate for new knees, would see that as good news. :) Don’t be afraid of surgery. I’ve had both hips & knees replaced and I’d do it all again tomorrow..[/quote]

    Thanks, perhaps it's not that bleak........... :wink: It's just when newly diagnosed and with such a busy life, it seems so.

    Paindullers is a very apt description of the tablets!
  • dreamdaisydreamdaisy Posts: 31,567 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Iamme, I replied to you on LWA and I empathise with the pain. It's 24/7 and has been for nearly fifteen years. I have PsA (psoriatic arthritis, an auto-immune type) and now OA in my knees and ankles thanks to the damage caused by the PsA. I use crutches all the time, even indoors when needed and I have a rollator (a four-wheeled walker) for outside. I'm now 53. Pain relief is NOT all it's cracked up to be, I've found that the stronger they are then more of an edge is removed. You do learn to live with it and cope with it, it maybe that you need a pain meds review and you might find something that suits you better in that it helps you more.

    You do find ways to cope and adapt, resting is essential, heat may help to ease sore joints and delegation is a wonderful technique to master! As for the new knees well, what's not to like? They usually lead to greatly reduced pain plus greatly enhanced mobility, and if it's just your knees that are affected that could really make a huge difference to your life. I have to wait at least another two years to get at least one done (both need it, I have bone-on-bone through at least half of each knee) but I do wonder if there would be any point now as so many other joints are affected: toes, sacro-iliacs but so far (touch wood) not my hips! I know the thought of surgery is daunting but, personally, I love it as it usually leads to a benefit of some sort! I wish you well and hope to see your name here and there. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • iammeiamme Posts: 13
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thankyou everyone for making me feel welcome!

  • Colin1Colin1 Posts: 1,769
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Iamme
    Wow you have got your work cut out girl i dont know what to say. Welcome to the AF site youll meet some nice people here who can tell you more than me I have RA so not much help just wanted to say hi and nice to meet you
    5 kids and arthritis I'm a man so its a little different for me LOL
    You take Care and start chatting on the other forums.

  • waddlewaddle Posts: 116
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    just wanted to say hi,

    it is over welming when first diagnosed but believe me you will find ways to cope, i also have children and know it can be very hard. feel free to PM me if you want to, i will try and help and share tips etc, you are not alone so please please just shout. there is a ton of information/help on here and i have 2 working ears if you need to give them a bashing :D xx
    Waddle :)
  • BetheoBetheo Posts: 4
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hey there hunni, thought I'd say hi and give a verbal *hug* I know the achy leg thing, get it in my hips and legs a lot. And good on you for keeping going with 5 kids (5! You get a medal in my book, 2 boys can be a challenge!) if you ever want to chat PM me. It feels hard accepting it at our age sometimes but we can battle on
    Take care
  • iammeiamme Posts: 13
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Waddle and Betheo


    When I first posted that, I wasn't in a good mind place, I'd had my first day from hell in such pain. It was the first day I'd taken the meds every 4 hrs, and didn't know where to go/what life had thrown at me. All the questions I suppose everyone with conditions like these ask.

    What I have come to realise very quickly is the amount of support there is on here. It's absolutely great to be able to moan or ask for advice from people who know exactly what I'm feeling.

    It's all early days for me, and I have accepted that some days will be good..........others awful! But, with the love and support I get at home I'll be ok.

    And, when needed all of you are here............ So, thanks!

    Jane :)
  • frogmortonfrogmorton Posts: 26,323 ✭✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi jane

    Lovely to meet you l am also a Mum who has arthritis.

    Believe me l reckon they help....they distract me and can make me laugh and sometimes make me a cuppa tea too :wink:

    Yep some days are good and some are not so good and most for me are in between :D

    This is a fabulous place to be and l am so glad you found us. Lots of advice and tips on here, but my main one is (regards the kids), don't beat yourself up DVDs sometimes....a Godsend :wink:


    Toni xxx

    Toni xxx
Sign In or Register to comment.