people

gilly1957

Hi all

I went to town on saturday,on the bus.
The bus stopped at the main stop intown,lots got off and lots got on,and it was very busy,but i wanted the next stop as it was nearer to the shop i wanted to go to (less walking)

Quite a lot of elderly people got on (im 53) when i said excuse me to get off,a group of them said Oh it wouldnt of hurt her to walk...im quite a big girl,but it upset me,i dont use a stick yet but the OA in my lumber spine is very painful when i walk....

I felt like saying..do you know whats wrong with me?

Felt like i was being judged.

Thx for listening.

magenta

Hi Gilly,

I'm sorry this happened to you. People do judge on looks, unfortunately. I've stopped doing this because I always think that other people could be like me.

You have days when comments don't matter but other days, it really hurts. Even if you had said you had arthritis, no doubt one of them would have said they had too but there's would have been much worse than yours! You will never win with these people. I never understand why complete strangers feel the need to make comments to people they don't know.

Please try and just forget about it. Chin up

Magenta x

dachshund

Hi Gilly.
try not to take any notice of them you did nothing wrong
what was wrong you stopped them talking and they had to move.
you live in blackpool a lovely place.
take care
joan xx

freesia

Ignore those silly small minded people....!!

Take good care of yourself... hugs xx

JuliaHod12

Hi Gilly

I so understand where you are coming from.............people dothat all the time to me, very intolerant of people with walking sticks.
It would seem that to receive any consideration one must either be a wheelchair or scooter user!

I was in a garden centre this afternoon with my OH.......trying to negotiate round some furniture displays to an Orchid Selection..........one man saw me with my stick and i am sure he deliberately walked across my path so that i had to go round the long way!

blimmin people! :-(

Folara

Hey Gilly

Ignore the ignorant idiots. They have no idea and obviously have no manners either. I can't manage a bus now and very rarely go into town as it means crutches and a wheelchair and I just can't be arsed lol

However, when I did used to go with the crutches I was very adept at accidentally swinging one round the odd shin of any obnoxious person.


Fols x

stickywicket

People make judgement calls where they really shouldn't. In the long gone days when I could use buses I used to get shoved off, much quicker than I could safely do it, because I was only in my 20s and didn't look disabled. It was very scary. You need to grow a thick skin. They should dish them out with the meds.

barbara12

Oh Gilly people can be so blinking cruel, I find that the older ones are the worse, I am 61 and I get more help off the younger ones .
Im with Joan I think they were fuming because you stopped then in there tracks.
The trouble with Arthur is there is nothing to see, apart from maybe a stick or a limp.
You take care and its nice to hear from you.xx

lindalegs

Some people just haven't got a clue Gilly.

You may borrow my cyber stick to trip them up with then see how they manage with sore leg(s)!

Luv,

Ldyalb

I haven't had this too often but I have seen tuts and stares when I've sat in disabled seats. Am 23 and look younger, and healthier than I am.

It is horrible though when you get them. I think it helps to think of a few retorts, even if you don't use them it will help you feel better to say them to yourself. And things could always be worse - you could actually BE one of those nasty people. I was bullied at all 6 schools I went to and that was my comfort thought, that at least I knew I wasn't a nasty person.

But sometimes you can answer back. Here's an occasion when I did, it felt great.

I worked 2 years ago for a small local shop. This was pre Fibro and Arthur. I have Dyspraxia with a strong ASD and Dyscalculia overlap. The latter is similar to Dyslexia, but with numbers. A customer came in who was entitled to a 10% discount. Our till didn't process discounts, and someone had removed the calculator. So I called for a colleague to bring it to me. I found I couldn't calculate the percentage myself so I quickly called my colleague to come and do it for me. The customer then said to me in a snotty voice 'in my day all young people could work Maths out mentally instead of lazily resorting to a calculator'.

Now I hated the job, the owner was on holiday and I was quitting the following week before he returned (he used to throw knives around and hit his staff (although he never hit me), he was also the worst human being I've ever had the misfortune to meet). I didn't care if I got told off.

So I smiled at him sweetly and said 'I have a learning difficulty which affects my maths skills. If you don't want me to get help calculating your discount then you're more than welcome to pay full price'.

That shut him up. And it felt amazing

freesia

lindalegs wrote:

Some people just haven't got a clue Gilly.

You may borrow my cyber stick to trip them up with then see how they manage with sore leg(s)!

Luv,

HaHaHa HaHaHa - BRILLIANT......!! tickled me that did....

freesia

I'm in my early 40's & still limping or more of an arthur shuffle, if you get my meaning... and I have NO problem using the disabled chairs on buses and Disabled toilets ect...

I am quite tall with long legs & need extra leg room at the best of times but arthur needs them too....!!

If someone has a problem with that then tough...!!
Obvioulsy if the bus was full, and a very frail older person came on board or a heavily pregnant woman... I would give up my seat - if noone offered first...

Happy Days everyone.... Hugs xx

emsjane

Ive just started using a walking stick, especially when i know im going to be doing quite a lot of walking and i must say i have found that it makes a difference how people treat me especially when it comes to having a seat on the tram or bus! So, even if i don't think im going to need it i think i will take it out with me in future, just in case!

I bought a lovely pink/purple patterned one that has the ortho handle so its comfy in my hand and i think its great!

LDYALB - Well done you, that was brilliant what you did and i hope that person went home shame faced and feeling guilty!

niecee

Hi Gilly
I know exactly how you feel!
I'm a big girl too, I have OA in lower back n hip from a accident. I now use a stick and people look at me as if I'm using it for my weight that's why I can't walk. Its hurtful when people judge you like that but I'm learning to think **** them. Dress nicely hold your head up and carry on. These guys on here are great for confidence boost and helping you get through everyday.
Keep smiling hun that was that day let's start again tomorrow! That's what I've learnt!

kellerman

I must be thick skinned. If some-one tuts at me let them......Pity they have nothing better to do.
Don't let them get to you. You know you are in pain who cares what others think they know.
There will always be these ignorant people about its a case of ignoring them or letting them upset you.I choose to ignore them. May

dreamdaisy

In my experience of life people can be rude usually because they are in their own little worlds and not paying much attention to what is going on around them. My bug-a-boo is those who sail up escalators, arrive at the top, disembark by two steps and then stop whilst they dither about which direction to go. :roll: If anyone says anything to me about my use of crutches I tell them why I have them, and they are usually sympathetic and start telling me about copper and cider vinegar. Yawn. Ignore the dumkopfs, Gilly, it's no-one business but yours which stop you use. DD