Its just one of those weeks.....

CJHunter
CJHunter Member Posts: 1,038
edited 24. Apr 2012, 06:27 in Living with Arthritis archive
UGH, that about sums up how i'm feeling about everything at the moment.

It is unusual for me to write about how im feeling, and i know i havent been about much recently but positive Clare has not been about.

I think i am just doing this to get it out rather than sit her feeling like this. I have so many emotions runningthrough me at the moment, one min im angry, then im upset, frustated, and its about everything.
Have had enough of the fatigue, as that cant be helped by the blasted meds. The constipation caused by them or is it the grrrr fibro. Oh yes the pregab helps the pain, oh boy it does . I just cant get this feeling of ugh and grrr out.

Maybe thats what the cbt will help with. Have app at fibro clinic 11th July, not as close as i'd hoped but at least i've got one.

Just want to scream !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ta for listening to my rant t2334.gif
one unhappy Clare
Clare xxeyeore-1.jpg
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Comments

  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Clare you really did need that little rant...now I say little because knowing you there is a lot more to get out, I always say that talking ranting is a great way to feel a little better.
    If you need a bigger rant you go ahead, I do wish you well with it all, its odd but sometimes we can get rid of most of the pain but still feel down, so we are here to listen.
    You take care xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • barking1
    barking1 Member Posts: 185
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Clare i am new to all this, not the pain but i am in the process of diagnosis i have rhumy appointment on monday , i feel for you as i go through so many emotions in one day its almost unconceivable being angry, upset and frustrated and tired seems to be part of my new routine but hopefully in the end it will lead to acceptance and having a life with arthur as appose to no life because of arthur i am sending you a huge hug ((((((( ))))))) i hope you feel more positive soon xx Jane
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It's all part and parcel of life with arthritis, CJ, and that's why here is such a good place 'cos there's nowhere else to safely let it all out. The continual searching for diagnosis, treatment and relief is tiring, factor in the activity of the disease and all its accompaniments and it's no wonder we are sometimes drained and over-whelmed by it all. I hope this feeling soon passes and you are once again back to your usual cheery self. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi i feel sorry that it is so bad at moment scream and shout all you need to you are there for others we will always be here for you ((())) you would not be normal if not it so hard coping with all the ups and downs and staying positive well good luck can you not get a cancellation
    val
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,763
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Now then, Clare, if people only came here when they were feeling positive there soon wouldn't be a forum. And, if there was, it would be some hideous, nauseating, chirpy, Happyland and we'd all be Pollyanna clones.

    This thing does mess with our heads as well as our bodies. The meds can help one thing and cause another and sometimes it's a matter of choosing what you're going to suffer from. Great.

    Let it all out as much as you like. Just scream a bit more quietly thogh will you. That last one hurt my ears :lol:
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Clare, I find the mental stuff worse than the actual pain sometimes. If I can get my head clear then I find I cope better. It isn't easy and we all need help from time to time.

    You have more than one thing going on and sometimes it can be all too much. It is draining, and tough and challenging and we don't get a day off!! You have done well over a tough few months and its bound to take its toll. You have supported others, so let us return the favour. :D

    Take it easy, give yourself a break and allow yourself to grieve for your loss, and try to find your inner peace and balance again. Treat yourself kindly and you will bounce back.

    July is a long time to wait, so speak to your gp in the meantime if you need further help.

    Take care
  • CJHunter
    CJHunter Member Posts: 1,038
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi all, Thank you so much for your words of support. Yes you are right here is the place to let it out, I just hate doing it.

    Barbara and SuzyGirl you both always have a habit of making me smile or bringing a tear , xx
    Sticky, Val,DD, Barkin (love the name),Thank you foryour encouragement. I wont scream so lound if i do again Sticky.

    Take care all.

    Thank you.xx
    Clare xxeyeore-1.jpg
  • Poppyg1rl
    Poppyg1rl Member Posts: 1,245
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Claire hon,
    I know we've already had a natter, I just wanted to impress upon you just how vital and necesary it is to vent, we can only cope with so much.
    Always here for you hon, carry on with everything you are doing, I think you're doing a grand job :D
    Lots of love Poppy X
    'grá agus solas'
    'Love and Light' translated from Irish. X
  • JuliaHod12
    JuliaHod12 Member Posts: 456
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Claire

    You feel free to rant away all you like my lovely :-)

    I have had a really pants day and feel like crawling in to bed and staying there!
    If we didn't realease the old vent once in a while we would allbe raving lunatics by now!

    take care

    love
    Julia xx
  • phoenixoxo
    phoenixoxo Member Posts: 625
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Bless you, Clare.

    Everyone needs a good rant now and then, and I hope you feel better for it.

    I can't add much to what all the lovely people have said above, but I wanted to wish you well for your appointment and to recommend plenty of fruit – it's surprising how digestive disorders can add so much to the general feeling of 'aaargh!'

    Take care,
    Phoebe
    PsA (psoriatic arthritis) and other things since 1990. Happy to help when I can :-)
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Clare I am so sorry to read this :( but I am glad that you have been able to write down how you feel and hopefully it has helped. :wink:

    Like suzygirl says, you have had a lot going on over the past few months and a lot of travelling to try to get the right medication and diagnosis, so, it is no wonder you feel drained and fed up.

    I just want to send hugs and well wishes ((((()))))))) and hope that tomorrow is a better day,

    Take care my friend
    Love Juliepf x
  • Folara
    Folara Member Posts: 568
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Clare,

    We all need to vent steam from time to time. It actually helps to get everything into perspective more when it's there in black and white on a page.

    We all have so much to cope with every second of every minute of every hour ....... We can't just say 'oh I think I will have a break today'.

    I hope you are feeling a little better now and whenever you want to rant/vent go ahead and do so.

    Big hugs,

    Fols xx
  • ruby2
    ruby2 Member Posts: 423
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I do agree Clare the emotional roller coaster is alot to cope with.
    Sometimes we want some TLC then resent it cos we want to be independent.
    Hate the pain but hate the meds that stop it.
    Shout if you need to Clare we all know where you are coming from and here to support each other.
    Hope the feelings soon lift.
    Ruby
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Clare,
    I'm sorry you feel so bad. I think it effects everything and I know what you mean, I think, you just want be able to do things, just for a bit, like everyone else and leave arthritis behind you! :(
    Hey, but its good to talk about it and let it go, bit like throwing up after eating something thats off. Not a nice metaphore but its not a nice feeling, either.
    Hope it soon settles down for a while, and the old Clare comes back. Lots of love Suexx :wink:
  • CJHunter
    CJHunter Member Posts: 1,038
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am overwhelmed by the support and thank you so very much.

    Huge hugs to you all (((())))

    :smile: xx
    Clare xxeyeore-1.jpg
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Clare,

    Leaving a ((((((((((( )))))))))) and a hope you got a decent night. Flower better days are going to come and just hang in there and know I am also thinking of you. Love and special bucket of make Clare better with side dish of better day draft. Cris xx
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,763
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Morning Clare. How's things today? I'm thinking of you.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Clare
    Just popping in to see how you are, and to send some more hugs ((((()))
    You take care xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • CJHunter
    CJHunter Member Posts: 1,038
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thaks Cris, Sticky and Barbara, today i was less emotional, but he downside was am very achy today andhad to go to work.
    At least my mind was kept busy eh.:)

    Had the delivery of my ergodynamic chair, the lumbar pump n seat is great as ar the arms, not sure about the neck rest though, we will see.
    Hae it on a 3week trial but as im not in anymore this week and on training next, and only do 2 days not much time to roadtest it. We will see.

    Am ok and jus needed tha little blast yesterday. Thanks all, you ar lovely.

    Sendin everyone a (((()))) and for those who are going through it at the mo, ive kept some of Cris draft back if ya want some :wink:
    Clare xxeyeore-1.jpg
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Clare I'm sorry that this is a little late but I'm feeling under the weather as well, similar to you, I'm suffering with the fatigue again and feeling yuk not sure if it's a bug or what. I do hope your grrrring feeling lifts for you as it sounds like you've had enough of it and wanting to feel you again! I know I want to feel me again sick of feeling drained and sicky!
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,763
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello again, Clare. How's things? I hope they are a bit better but, if not, we still want you here you know. Tears and laughter are equally acceptable.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Clare,

    just leaving ((((( ))))) tea and hopes. Cris xx
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Clare, just wanted to wish you well.
    All the best,
    Numpty
  • CJHunter
    CJHunter Member Posts: 1,038
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi All, I am ok just life has been pretty busy. Am just on the train returning from a legal training course for work. The first night i have had away from my o/h in 11yrs, was very strange and had the worse sleep ever. (dont tell anyone but had a cry)
    Just because i was alone and hurting, At least i brought along a hottie, which helped and had the support of a very good friend texting me.

    Its strange how friends come into your life and if it wasnt for AC i would never have met some of the lovliest people and made one of the best friends ever. I wont name her for embarasing her :smile:

    Anyhow off we go on first train from kings cross, and managed to get a seat, woop.:lol:
    Be home for half 7 so feel free to post i will be about for a while.

    Take care u lovely people. xxxx
    Clare xxeyeore-1.jpg
  • Puschinka
    Puschinka Member Posts: 176
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Is your OH okay with that, Clare?! You taking along a 'Hottie' ? :wink:
    Have a safe trip home!
    Hope you sleep better tonight.x
    Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.