im still feling so low and alone,

joolswood Member Posts: 11
when will this end for me? the feeling like im slowly gong insane.I need someone to talk with over the phone or to meet up with peole in the same situation as me. I live in Enfield, north london and am 52. I fractured my right knee twenty years ago and was diagnosed with OA couple months ago in that knee..Have been put on 600mg ibruprofen three times daily and I don't want to take these drugs all my life espec as I heard they can increase the risk of a heart attack. Also having to take paracetamol as well as them. I suffer greatly with my nerves and had a breakdown in my 20's, I have illness phobia and am now imagining all kinds of things wrong with me. Having panic attacks, and am, so depressed, feel like am heading for anothe breakdown. Consultant said it was fairly advanced, but pain is not much of an issue at present.Tried walking four bustops today but by end of it knee didn't want to work, felt like it was just not picking up off ground????? and this has so depressed me, I don't want my knee to progressivly give up on me, if it was just that my kne is weaker and will get stronger with phsio when I get it might be able to feel more positive.....


  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi i am just a forum member but you sound so down wanted to leave a (((hug))) it might be an idea to phone help line that what they there for i do not know much about oa so others will be on to help val
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jools,

    I am also a forum member but that doesn't mean we are not here for you and understand exactly what your saying.

    OA hurts big time and the drugs your on are to help ease the pain, which I really hope they are doing?

    Jools we all have times when our imaginations go into overdrive and we think all kind of things are going wrong but they very rarely are or actually do so hang on to that thought if you can. I know its easier for me to say that than for you to do it as I used to get very bad anxiety attacks and I also have a phobia so understand just how bad and difficult that is to control but you can.

    Have they given you any of the techniques to help calm you down at all? Mine were sit quietly and breath in, hold it for the count of ten and breath out again until that slows down and you have a better hold on it all.

    Then try to think of nothing or think of something that makes you feel happier and safe so your not thinking about what it is that's got to you so badly. Jools the other one I learned is to 'see' a huge bubble and climb into it. Inside there nothing will go wrong and you are safe.

    The physio will almost certainly give you exercises that strengthen the internal ligaments inside your knee and they work Jools, they help and they strengthen it. I use some Legs gave me years back but I can't tell you to do them but the physio will.

    For walking could a stick or crutch help? Like you I feel I have to make my legs pick up to walk but the good thing is your not having too much problem with pain. That means the tablets are doing their job.

    Everything we are given has some kind of possible side effect but just because they say what they can do doesn't mean they will.

    The other thing you can't look to the future, especially when your feeling down. Look at one day at a time and its easier to cope with that then look ahead and get very scared.

    OA is am unpredictable thing. You have it but it can move fast or slow so it could stay as bad as it is but get no worse for some time.

    You mustn't think that cus your having a bad day you are heading back for a breakdown. Your having a bad day, and tomorrow could well be a better one.

    One thing is for sure you are not alone here and there are folk that will be about and help you get through all this. Your being seen, you have physio on the horizon so hang in there and leaving you a cyber ((((( ))))) and a promise that your not alone here at all. Cris x
  • CJHunter
    CJHunter Member Posts: 1,038
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jools, I too am a forum member who has OA in knees and depression amongst other things and Im 39 yrsyoung,lol.

    Its not unusual for you to think all sorts, maybe talk to doctor about relaxation classes or cbt to help you see things differently. I have been seeing a phisio for 10 weeks to help with the OA and muscle wastage in my knee/leg muscles. well thge old saying use it or lose it has been so true inthis case. Since doing the excersises I have been advised to my muscle tone has been greatly improved thus my knees have been less strained and painfull. Losing weight has also helped.

    I am not in your shoes but wanted to share this with you to show how things can be done to help.

    Please dont give up hope, keep posting and in touch with us on here and see phisio and docs to discuss stratergies further.

    All the best , take care. Keep Smiling :)
    Clare xxeyeore-1.jpg
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jools,

    I forgot top say earlier that ringing and talking to the helplines might also help you. They man the phones 10 - 4 and the number is at the top of the page. Another ((( ))) and a hope tomorrow will be a better and kinder day for you. Cris x
  • helpline_team
    helpline_team Posts: 3,297
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Dear Joolswood,

    This sounds like a difficult time for you right now. As other Forum members have been suggesting - of course you'd be very welcome if you wanted to ring us on the freephone and talk about things. If you know that your emotional side is finding this tough then it's probably worth talking to your GP or mental health services (if you are already in touch with them).

    The fact that you are putting out these messages shows your instincts are about getting support. Generally social support helps with the side of arthritis that can be a bit isolating. Talking and social contact will probably be useful if mental health is under pressure. What only you know is what steps feel right to you at the moment. If you'd find it helpful to talk informally about what you need then please do ring us. might be another good option to explore too.

    I hope that is helpful

  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, just wanted to say you are not alone. Post on the LWA forum, lots of peeps there who will support and make you laugh.

    Take care
  • catrocks1982
    catrocks1982 Member Posts: 56
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi I just wanted to say you are not alone, I only joined this forum today and already feel a bit more positive. :)

    OA is a terrible illness, we are both too young to be dealing with such a thing.

    Glad your painkillers are helping and hope the physio helps aswell.

    I have OA in my jaw so cant advise on your knee, but can say your definatley not on your own

    Take care :)
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello joolswood, I am saddened to read that you are as low as this. Please post again on the Living With Arthritis part of the forum, more people look in on that part (this part is for the Helpline bods, not forum members per se) and I am sure you will be given support. I can assure you you're not alone with feeling like this - arthritis hits not only the joints, its ripples spread throughout the lake of life. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben