help i cant handle it

millie78

I don't know what to do. I have ra, started on hydroxychloroquine end of last year, it has made pains manageable. Since catching a rotten cold in December I have not been right since. Varying symptoms of a cold with flu achey feeling, general run down. Also period of 4 weeks swollen glands in neck. Gp prescribed antibiotics and did blooded and chest xray all clear. Felt fine for 3 days and now I've been hit worse. A couple of weeks ago my dad got given devastating news about his health which shook me to the core. I know stress can flare arthritis. Today I cant bare to pick myself up of chairdue to flu achey allover feeling. Today I'm also feeling arthritic pains flitting in all my joints. I can't bear it, until the news my parents were my support. My partnmr can't take time off work to help me as he won't get paid we cannot afford that. I have 4 children and only manage to meet their basic needs its hideous. But because I Am still going I don't think people around me know how bad this is. I have told a few but cos I'm there standing talking to them they can't imagine the torture is as bad as I say. I have to work tomorrow, in some ways I think it'll be easier than staying home looking after the children. This is no quality of life for me or ky children. Oh and I did ring rheumy last week and still waiting for callback will Chase tomorrow. I am so sorry to rant, I don't know how to get help. Noone can help I have 4 children to care for. All my friends have their own. I want to care for my own babies. Xx thank u for listening.

nikkib007

Hello Millie

I am so sorry for what you are going through, I kind of know what you are going through I have a 1 year old daughter and I know how you feel about not being able to look after her! I cant start to know what it feel like to look after 4 but all I can say is keep going! your still their mum and they still love you, we all have down days hope you feel better soon

Take care and rant away we are all here to listen

Nikki
xx

millie78

Thank you. I came back here to apologise because I realise others are fat worse off than me. At least I can still move around. I just find life so depressing when every movement inflicts pain.

I can't work out if the aches and tiredness are ra, or are side effects of tablets or something different?

nikkib007

You never need to say sorry! it could be a bug making you feel worse I had a few early nights and that helped! you could give that a go when the kids are a sleep

Nikki
x

frogmorton

Oh millie

you poor thing

I do tend to think it sounds a lot like teh RA is what is making you feel so generally unwell and that you are right to chase the rheumy.

Maybe they will have some ideas for you - a depot steroid jab can do wonders for some people can't it? But it may be you need something added to the hydroxy :? You won't know till you see him will you?

It is so hard when you have kids to get the rest we need l do understand that....terrible to think work sounds more restful for you than being at home.

My fingers are crossed for you that you can see teh rhuemy/rheumy nurse ASAP.

Love and strengthening HUGS

Toni xxx

millie78

Thanks both of you. I've been getting loads of sleep made sure my diet is healthy and just started taking metatone tonic which is supposed to boost health after illness.

I will def ring rheumy tomorrow. I thought the injection was for one particular joint? Mine is flitting to all would it help?

Thanks it means a lot to be listened to x

ichabod6

Hello Millie,

If there are some out there who are far worse off than you they must be pretty bloody bad.
Hang on in there. On your appointment ask for a general steroid injection.
I've been very bad for the last few weeks but at my appointment last Tuesday my consultant gave me this fairly large injection in my bum and it has worked wonders. The pain in my knees, shoulders and right elbow has virually disappeared; my runny nose has dried up; I can move around freely; I dont need to use a stick and I can drive again.
If you get an injection I do hope it works for you.
Take care.

dreamdaisy

Steroids can be injected directly into a joint or a general depo-medrone boost can be given in the backside. I've had limited success with both sorts but for some they can work wonders. You appear to be only on the one drug which may not be enough to make enough of a difference, many on here with RA are on two or more meds. Arthritis thrives on stress and you have plenty of that going on. How old are the offspring? Are they of an age to start helping out a little round the house, doing simple chores etc? Given how you are feeling it's worth chasing the rheumatology department in order to let them know how things are now. I reckon many of us live our lives as though we are swimming through porridge - on a better day it's custard, on a bad day concrete. DD

millie78

Hi guys. That steroids injection sounds a dream, so does your rheumy recognise the funny nose and tiredness to be ra?

My 9 year old does help but the others are 5, 2 and 1 year old so not much I can expect from them, they are all good kids.

I managed to the secretary of rheumy again today who had spoken to him on my behalf. He said the tablets wouldn't give these side effects. I asked about it being part of the ra but secretary didn't know. She said she could try and bring ky September appt forward but they had cutbacks and it wasn't easy, same story for nurse. I felt I didn't want to push for it in case this is jot ra at all so suggested I go back to gp first, which I'm doing on Thursday. Quite why I don't know considering he didn't want to refer me to rheumy in first place because he believes painkillers are all u can do for ra!

Anyway mentally I am coping better today. Physically I feel just as exhausted with flitting pains. I just read about pious and wonder if I have that as it appears the fluey ache is more apparent and considering I had 4 weeks of swollen neck glands. Does anyone know much about lupus?

Thanks for listening x

stickywicket

Looking after small children is an exhausting business even without arthritis. Put the two together and.......well, if I'd known then what I know now :roll: My biggest asset, when my two were little, was a great GP. If yours genuinely believes that painkillers are all you can do for RA then, I'm sorry, but he's rubbish and, in your situation, I'd be heading for another.

It might be that you're flaring or it might just be that you're exhausted and very anxious about your Dad. Have you thought of phoning our Helplines, millie? I'm sure they'd listen to the full picture and maybe that'd be the best way to get things on a more even keel. Take care.

frogmorton

Just nipped in to see how you are Millie

Sometimes the RA nurses do the depot jabs (well they do at my place) if you are still struggling l would ring the sec back and ask for an apt to see them for one.

A dream ? they are for some for sure Would be great if they helped you

The tiredness can be a symptom of the RA.

I am so sorry the Gp isn't so helpful. Wonder can you take 'someone' with you on Thursday? Preferably someone who can back you up as far as how you are suffering.

Love and luck

Toni xxx

Ps no harm at ALL ringing helplines. i did TWICE and bawled me eyes out both times :oops: Was very theraputic - honestly.

millie78

Unfortunately I live in a village with little option for a gp! Shall see what he says tomorrow. Yes I will ring the helpline thx for reminding me its there. It's lovely to get the support here I really do appreciate it. Today the arthritic pains have been less but exhaustion still there with cough too! Will keep u posted after gp x

roses1

Just popping in to wish you luck with the GP tomorrow!

Little ones are exhausting arn't they, Pop on their fav DVD and try and get some rest with them dont burn yourself out !


take it easy
Rose x

tjt6768

Hi Millie..
I think it was wrong and quite misinformed of the gp to tell you that painkillers are the only thing for RA. There are a few different meds they can try.
The hydroxy didn't work for me but I've had slightly better results with sulfasalazine, just not quite good enough though. I go back monday.
The flu like symptoms could be part of the flare, many people experience similar when flaring..

I wish you all the best mi dear, and never apologise for letting it all out on here, we all understand here.

dreamdaisy

GPs are just that - general practitioners. They know a little about a lot but not a lot about a little (not that RA is a little, not by a long chalk). GPs manage OA and in that case it is a matter of pain relief and exercise. RA is a different beast altogether and it would appear that he does not know enough about it. I think you do need to see someone and soon about what is going on with you. Arthritis is tiring in itself, then factor in trying to run a family, home and work and it can all go to hell in a handcart (as many of us on here can testify). Diagnosing an inflammatory arthritis can be a tricky business and it can take time but seeing the rheumatologist is key to the whole thing. Sometimes we have to make a 'nuisance' of ourselves to get where we need to be so make sure you do just that, yes? DD

paddyw

Hi Millie, I know the feelings you are having,Its not good ,will you ring your rheumy again ? keep pushing.He/she may help with better drugs.Sorry to hear your parent not well,I know stress does not help RA. the help team on here are very good i have rang them few times if you need to talk .Thinking about you God bless Paddy w (Pat)

millie78

Thanks everyone for support. I feel (mentally) much stronger today. I've cooked a decent dinner and had fun with my babes in the garden, done wonders.
My gp was sympathetic today he listened, and he confessed he doesn't know what to do for me as blood and xray all fine. He offered to refer me on but I decided to take another course of antibiotics first and see how I go. I've comes to my own conclusion that my immune system is low and so have bought in more vits, fresh fruit and I have the attitude of I will fight this. The arthritic pains have not been so bad, its now just exhaustion, cough and fluey aches to fight! oh and guess what I forgot to call the helpline today! My day is just madness between school runs gp appts, 2 babies to feed and nap and a dinner to prepare I forget about the important stuff for myself!

Thanks all so much x