Needing advice

noeltone

Hi all I am seeking some advice as I am now living with another partner who gets jealous of me going on discussion forum although she has said as I have not been on a while I can post a thread and she does not read them anyway.
My arthur is OK btw but I am happy sometimes in my relationship altho I miss coming on here but she thinks my posting makes me dwell on my arthur and thinks its best not to post too often hence ive not been on board on here for a while what does anyone think do they compare talking about arthrur with worser feelings
Chrisov best wishes to you all

barbara12

Hi Chrisov
Its lovely to hear from you, its been so long,
Well I would say that its good to talk about your feelings especially pain, it can be a big help just getting things off your shoulders, and the state of the NHS at the moment its good to talk to people that understand, must say if my OH told me not to come on then there would be fireworks... :shock:

fowls48

Hi

Your not on your own .My mother rages at my dad when he plays around with his mobile phones .He Says "have to go shes got BAB.


Sorry you are in the same situation

stickywicket

You have arthritis, noeltone. It's a fact which, unfortunately, none of us can get away from. I do agree that a partner who bleated on about it all the time would be a pain in the neck and I would, quite rightly, get very short shrift from Mr SW if I were to try it. But, equally, he'd get the same if he tried to live as if I didn't have it. It's all about compromises on both sides.

If you were spending more time on here than you were with your partner she might have a very valid point. However, the idea that 'she has said as I have not been on a while I can post a thread' would be the signal for a full blown domestic in this household. Why not agree a certain time each day/week when you each do your own thing in your own way whatever that may be, without having to ask the other's permission?

Personally, I often come on Chit Chat in order to get right away from arthritis and just have a laugh.

dreamdaisy

My mother takes a similar view but I stoutly maintain that until she has what I have she cannot tell me what is best for me. I can imagine what would happen if I told Mr DD not to do something - I would be told in no uncertain fashion where to get off. One important aspect of any relationship is respect being given by each to the other. DD

rondetto

No trust = No relationship.

elnafinn

Hi Chrisov

Long time no hear! Vonski and I were only saying last Sunday that you had been very quiet for a long time.

It is 6 months since you posted on here, so it is hardly taking up much of your time! Good to hear that you are in a relationship and that you are feeling ok.

It should be up to you if and when you wish to post on a discussion forum, not anyone else's. We all need our own space and if it does make you worse, calling into a forum, then that is for you and your partner to discuss together.

All good wishes,

Elna x

lindalegs

Good to see you Chrisov.

I don't think it makes me dwell on my RA being on this forum, I think the forum is just a group of people with a common connection.

If we want to talk about our arthritis we go on to LWA forum which is invaluable for advice and support and if we want general chat we come on the CC forum.

I get a lot of pleasure from feeling I can help other people and, to me, it's just like chatting to a group of friends.

(If your partner restricts your time on here I hope you restrict her doing something she enjoys. :shock: All's fair in love and war afterall )

Luv,

RosieGlow

I would say the fact that you have brought this up at all indicates that you are not OK with the situation. I wonder if your partner saying coming on here makes you dwell more on your condition is in fact just a smokescreen for what she really means. You say yourself that its jealousy, which often is about control. Maybe you need to talk it through more.

joanlawson

Hi Chrisov

It's good to see you posting again and to know that your arthritis isn't too bad at the moment. I remember that when I first joined this site you used to write some very interesting posts, so I was disappointed when you gradually dropped out of the forum. I used to enjoy reading about your little grandson among other things.

Far from making us dwell on arthritis, I think that many of us find this forum a place where we can forget it in the company of friends. Good relationships thrive on give and take, so I hope you can negotiate a compromise with your partner.

Joan

valval

i am sorry to hear that some one in your life does not understand how when you suffer as we do that suport is much needed and having some where you can tell it as it is well it so important.
i would never tell my oh what he can or can not do (or football would not have been on all evening) but he also respects the things i do a partnership is full of give and take or it will not give either of you the happiness you deserve life is to short for trying to make some one happy at your expence. i hope you find some middle ground and we see more of you val

tkachev

RosieGlow wrote:

I would say the fact that you have brought this up at all indicates that you are not OK with the situation. I wonder if your partner saying coming on here makes you dwell more on your condition is in fact just a smokescreen for what she really means. You say yourself that its jealousy, which often is about control. Maybe you need to talk it through more.

I agree with Rosie Glows post. It is a smokescreen. She probably wants your full and undivided attention which doesn't make for a healthy relationship

she has to learn to trust you.

Elizabeth

dachshund

Hello Chrisov.
has'nt your partner got things they like to do.
joan xx