getting on in years

Colin1

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 And heading towards 70 or beyond!

1.
Kidnappers are not very
interested in you.
2.
In a hostage situation,
you are likely to be released first.
3.
No one expects you to run --
anywhere.
4.
People call at 9 PM (or 9 A M) and ask,
'Did I wake you?
5.
People no longer view you as a
hypochondriac.
6.
There is nothing left
to learn the hard way.
7.
Things you buy now
won't wear out.
8.
You can eat
supper at 4 PM.
9...
You can live without sex
but not your glasses.
10.
You get into heated arguments
about pension plans.
11.
You no longer think of speed limits
as a challenge.
12.
You quit trying to hold
your stomach in no matter
who walks into the room.
13.
You sing along
with elevator music.
14.
Your eyes won't get
much worse.
15.
Your investment in health insurance
is finally beginning to pay off.
16.
Your joints are more accurate
meteorologists
than the national weather service.
17.
Your secrets are safe with your
friends because they can't
remember them either.
18.
Your supply of brain cells is finally
down to a manageable size.
19.
You can't remember
who sent you this list.

barbara12

Thanks Colin dont think I would be kidnapped in the first place..

georgie66

this reminded me of one of my mums monologs

sound familiar

Just a line to say I'm living
that i'm not among the dead
though i'm getting more forgetful
and mixed up in my head
i've got use to my arthritis
i can cope with my bi-focals
but-ye gods-i miss my mind
somtimes i can't remember
when i'm standing on the stair
if i should be going up for something
or have just come down from there
and before the fridge so often
my mind is full of doubt
now did i put some food away
or come to take it out
so remember i do love you
and wish that you lived near
and now it's time to post this
and say good buy , my dear
at last i stand beside the post box
and my face-it sure is red
instead of posting this to you
i've opened it instead.

mouseymousey

For all that I wouldn't be 21 again for all the tea in China.

georgie66

neither would i MM...

dreamdaisy

Thank you for the chortle Colin, and Georgie I like the monologue very much - both items beautifully sum up the ageing process! DD

PS My dad used to like the line 'Your teeth are like stars, they come out at night.'

Colin1

Georgie thats really good thanks
Colin

lancslass43

Thanks for the laugh, it's cheered me up and made me realise that I'm not alone in my old age!!

lancslass

gilly1957

Thank you both for making me laugh...

Shows what iv'e got too look forward to....54 at the mo....some of the comments already sound familiar...

joanlawson

Another perk of getting older:

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

frogmorton

Colin

and Georgie

I enjoyed both of these thanks

Love

Toni xxx

tjt6768

Algebra? I'm sure she's one of the teenage chavs that lives in our street

joanlawson wrote:

Another perk of getting older:

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

georgie66

the minister called the other day and said at my age
i should be thinking of the "hear-after."
i told him "oh i do ,all the time "
no mater where i am.
in the bedroom, kitchen, sitting room, or even the garden,
i stop and ask myself
"now what am i here after..

suncatcher

Oh dear i really am getting older than my years i can identify with lots on the list :shock: