Down in the dumps.

Avrielle

I'm feeling quite rubbish just now. I have suffered depression for a long time, but I'm not depressed. I take anti depressants and on them long term as even if I come off when I'm feeling good my brai automatically reverts back in to depression.

Anyway, I'm not depressed just now, but rather down in the dumps. I'm in loads of pain and my hips started hurting again last night and sore again today. I cracked my good foot last night and it felt like I broke my ankle and I need to be super careful with it today. I'm not far from immobalised!

I want chocolate and some comfort food, but because of dumb problems with RBS bank I can't get any money out or pay for anything by card, and I have no cash!

I'm tired all the time, I'm sick of hurting and moving all the time to try and help pain with little result. My knees flared up last night and I hadn't done anything. They just swelled up and turned bright orange and burned so hot that it was prickling and sore!

Have a friend staying with us just now and he looked quite shocked when I rolled my PJs up showing my knees and that has made me feel a bit down, like I'm an alien!

hileena111

Awww Avrielle
I'm sorry.......I think we all feel down in the dumps at times ...I know I do. Not clinical depression.....but feels as if it might as well be :roll:
This RBS is such a pain isnt it? I can understand your need for chocolate when you feel like this I hope this lifts soon or you get your chocolate ...or both
The only thing i can think of is ...diversions......are there things you could concentrate on that would ease the pain......music/reading/crafts/visualisation therapy......
No doubt others will be along with some advice
Love
Hileena

barbara12

Hi Avrielle
You are doing the right thing talking to us lot, just getting some of it out will help a little, and has Hileena says, try some distraction, anything you like doing , and take things easy for a bit till those knees go down,
Sending you lots of hugs ((((((()))) x

Numptydumpty

Hi Avrielle, I'm sorry you're feeling down in the dumps. It does get you like that sometimes doesn't it? At least all of us here understand.
Thinking of you and wishing you well,
Numpty

Avrielle

Thankyou xx

Yes, I definately need chocolate feeling like this!

A friend is staying with us and he has been fab to talk to about anything and everything. Had a long convo this afternoon, but I'm feeling a bit rubbish again since conversation ended. I just wanna go to bed!

But it's great when he cracks a joke and makes me laugh. He was telling me today about a manual for something that was literally translated from japanese. Still chuckling a little thinking about it. Things like:

"Avoid moisture and storage in damp places like waterfalls"

and on every page it has in capital letters:

"TAKE ENOUGH CARE!"

not too much care, not too little, just enough! Heh!

Ahhh.. Laughing is great. But I'm still very aware of the pain I'm in. Annoying I have to keep changing position and moving around when I just wanna sit and have a giggle!

Greenlily

Hi Avrielle I hope you are beginning to feel better. You shouldn't have to be in that amount of pain, it would make anyone feel bad. Have you got anything for your knees to help bring down the inflammation? Sounds like someone needs to help you get out of the pain cycle. Then you'd feel a whole lot better. Is you GP supportive or can you call an arthritis nurse to get help. I do hope so. Best wishes and I hope you feel a whole lot better soon,
Regards Green-lily

Harlansmummy

Totally sympathise with the need for chocolate! Google the 5 minute mug cake (I think hats what it is called,) . MaKe it in the microwave and it might give you a boost

Hope tomorrow is better

tjt6768

hope things improve soon...
Posting does help

I like the sound of the manual lol....

bubbles

Hi Avrielle, what a lovely name. Nice to meet you and glad that you are here, to say just how you feel. I am only just getting back to posting, after a long time. Just about falling off my perch at times, but, we all take one day at a time, some days are really horrid and you just want it to go away, pain is a fickle monster, it causes a low mood, just by its nature, it is wearing and depressing. I and many others on the forum can sympathise with you and how you are feeling.
I have to move, sit, stand, potter, sit, stand, potter, just to ease things a little.
I take anti depressants too, a fairly low dose, do they help, only stopping them would answer that I guess. I am sure they do what they can, alongside pain killers of all descriptions.
I try and distract myself as much as I can, well known for my pottering, just fussing in the kitchen, giving things a clean (not scrubbing the floors or ceiling ), just the areas I can get to. OH does the rest, under a watchful eye.
Read a little, a magazine, even if you just look at the pictures. Watch a bit of tv, then have another potter.
Chocolate, well, I am dependent on it, as many know, I love my maltesers and those family bags are NOT for sharing.
I hope you managed to get hold of some, a bit of what you fancy does no harm.
Talking to a friend is good, as is posting on here. You are certainly not alone.
Take lots of care and look forward to your posts. XX Bubbles

skezier

Hi Avrielle,

a whole chunk of cyber chocolate on its way to you with a hope that tomorrow will be a bit better all round for you. A cyber ((( ))) as well. Cris x

Avrielle

Thanks folks.

I have not yet been diagnosed with arthritis. Seeing rheumatologist on 2nd July. The waiting around and not knowing and being aware that it could take a long time for a diagnosis is frustrating.

Pain in knees started only about 3/4 months ago, but progressively getting worse, my hips started very recently. So I'm very new to it all and it is a shock at how quickly I've deteriorated from 'hmm, thats a bit nippy, I'll have to be more careful' to 'ow ow ow, I can't even sit in a chair!'

My foot is seperate. Ligament damage and nerve damage there and had it for over 2 years now. No stranger to crutches.

I have had a choccy biscuit and a very cheesy cheese toastie, so I feel a little better. :-)

Bubbles, nice to meet you too. I'm much the same with the pottering and doing little things like tidying the kitchen. People think I do it to make myself feel useful, but its more because I need to move and I need to do 'something' so I'm not sitting or standing in pain.

Unfortunately tonight I can't do much. There are shooting pains going down my legs and my knees are inflamed. Might have to get the pillows from the bedroom and lie down on the floor...

Saphire

Hi Avrielle,
I am new to this forum so don't really know anyone but I just wanted to wish you well and hope that the pain eases up a bit for you.
Saph x

Colin1

Hello Avrielle pleased to meet you, my name is Colin and I’m a recovering alcoholic
NO No No wrong site, I have RA, PsA, FM, heart disease lung disease, sleep Apia abad liver and a stone in my left kidney that feels like a house brick. I’m recovering from my third lot of stents “having to keep away from magnets at the moment”. HE HE I used to tell people who used mobile phones near me that I had a metal plate in my head and the phone caused problems with my brain waves. They would appologise and turn it off. LOL as if I ever had a brain wave. What’s this about you showing you knees off bet you where doing that knees up mother brown.
Well Avrille depression sorry down in the dumps can be quite hard to deal with and the deeper you get down in the dumps the harder it is to get out. I can see where your coming from with feeling better with the conversation and feeling bad again afterwards.
Its so good to have people to talk to, Do you have your family around you, any hobbies or pastimes you enjoy or ones you could try to recapture.
With some things the pain and the anguish never go life can be such a bitch at times and long term illness is so misunderstood by the people who know us, I call our type of stuff unforeseen illness. People say you and say hey your looking great are you better now. As if you had some miracle overnight. You feel like shouting no im still sick and I’m always going to be sick but I don’t I just say yes I feel much better thanks. Boy it makes you want to scream and shout. Do you ever feel like screaming I do, I seem to have become quite emotional over the last few years although I have always been a softy. Perhaps its all the meds I take, now meds that’s another story I could write a book on them. I normally take mine at 9am but had to go out this morning early so took them at 10.30 boy I feel dreadful now just want to lay down do you get like that with the meds.
Being tired all the time doesent help either have you talked to the GP about lack of sleep.
Do you know what I think Avrielle, it would be a good idea for you to book an appointment with your Rheumy nurs or nurse specialist and have a good chat with them. Its great to have us guys hear to talk to but you need to pour all this out to them Avrielle so that they understand how you feel and why you feel so ill. When your in such a state and have so many problems with your health little things can become major issues if you allow them to. You have to try and be strong. As for comfort eating well thats my only weakness I just love food any food will do as long as I’m eating I’m happy and I am finding dieting is the hardest thing I ever done. Hey Avrielle this note is turning into a book so I better close don’t forget the people hear will always take the time to talk to you and I hope your feeling better soon. Sorry if it seems I went on a bit but you are really struggling at the moment and I thought I would try and keep you amused for a little while. Remember feeling better is a state of mind more than anything.
Yoiu take care
Colin