IS THIS GIVING IN

barbara12

Hi all
After a long deliberation, I have decided to get a set of wheels (wheelchair)..I feel so sad, has though I have been bereaved...I know Im being stupid, but I was once... before arthur training to be a fitness instructor.
But lately with the back and hips the pain is getting to much, dont get me wrong I like to keep busy doing whatever, but the walking has got me.
We went on a 3 day hol to Wales, and it suddenly hit me how the pain was really holding me back, so I thought if I get some wheel I would be able to push it along, and then sit in it and hopefully push myself, so at least I would be getting the exercise.
My left hand isnt much use but my right one is ok, so I think I have come to accept things and I will move on
Thankyou for listening...xxx

suzygirl

Barbara, I have a wheelchair and it has enabled met o do things I wouldn't be otherwise able to do. As long as you continue to walk when you can, then it is being sensible not 'giving in'.

I wish you and the wheelchair many happy and wonderful outings

SheilaD

Hi Barbara

Dont feel like you have been bereaved, look at it as a new friend that will help you get out and about and be able to do and see more things. Do continue to try to walk for the exercise. I dont class this as giving in this is very sensible thinking.

Love n hugs
SheilaD xx

jillyb1

Not giving in ~ adapting . I found that I was missing out on trips out and therefore ; so were my family and friends . Since getting my wheelchair a few years ago I'm now back to leading a busy life ; theatre , concerts , meals out and so on . If it feels right for you then go for it . Jillyb

Numptydumpty

Hi Barbara,
I really feel for you, this is such a hard decision. You are definately not giving in, just making the most of your situation.
Wheels will give you independence, and the ability to do more. Don't feel you're giving in, you can still walk whenever possible, and the wheels will further your horizons.
I'm sure you're making the right choice.
Wishing you well,
Numpty

Colin1

Hey Barbara its just making sence of the whole thing if you need it get it
Its just unnessary suffering if you can help yourself its a good idea. I have a scooter and a wheelchair and really need them I still have a good potter round the house garage and greenhouse. I sometimesw use it in the garden depending on how i am. If i never had the wheelchair i could not go out. I like to go shopping Asda and such with the wife, trip to B+Q or out for lunch all sorts of stuff. Its not giving love and you will as you say Its not being stupid and if you take the pressure off yourself it might just feel better. Yes i know you will still keep busy because you have to. But life can be a bugger at time and why should you miss out. I got an electric one so that i can go to the local shops or town centre on my own. Problem is i then had to get a van. But when you have needs what can you do, Themn i bought a trailer and a huge scooter for going to the Army camp or days out.
Without them i would probably never go out.
Colin

dreamdaisy

Are you giving in? A most emphatic NO. Are you adapting to make the best of things? A very emphatic YES. I suggest you print Sticky's guide to the subtle art of chair propellling and pin it to the back of your seat.

This should make a deal of difference for you, Mr B, your grand-daughters and the general quality of life. You go girl, get yourself equipped then get out there and enjoy things again. Mr DD and me went into town today and I lasted two hours thanks to the Clatterator - these things help, my lovely. It's not easy to accept their use but they do make a positive difference. ((())) DD

ruby2

Aw Barbara I know what you mean.
Every time we accept this arthritis stuff and each time we recognise we need help with something or other plays on that emotion for me too.
But you are a very positive lady and I'm sure it will soon be helping you to keep helping others and that's what you enjoy doing.
(())

Harlansmummy

Just to echo what the others said, this is not giving in.

I felt the same when I first used a chair but now I see it as a positive thing that allows me more freedom. No doubt you will find that too

valval

i know you are a very brave person and you know in your heart of hearts it is not giving in it being sencible to help you enjoy life to the full.
if any one else asked you you would tell them to get one .great for putting shopping in and helping balance then your own seat when you need it go for it girl and enjoy all the extra outings you get val

hileena111

Hi Barabara
Like the others say you are not giving in.
As my daughter said to me when I was having a fight with myself about a scooter...."mam you arent giving in, its a coping mechanism. It will let you do so many things you cant do now."
She was so right and I now have a 4 wheel rollator as well...use it more than the scooter now......Its fantastic. Hubby and I spent a couple of hours in a market town walking about this afternoon. Couldnt have done that before I got it.
Love
Hileena

theresa4

No way enjoy it.
One of the reasons I wont have one is because my hands and wrists are done in so I would require an electric or someone to push me. Although my OH has informed me that when we go to India in September Im having one no arguments.
We had a cheapy relative housed holiday to Budapest for 4 days and it was lovely (I was propped up on very large amounts of dihidrocodeine, paracetemol and ibuprofen and still had lots of falls and tears)oh yes and wine :oops: the combination was good but not very healthy as I had a few extra DHC than I should have. To be honest I would have been alot better off with a wheelchair :shock: did I admit that :shock: One evening I tried to hide the tears as my OH held me up walking a short distance between the restaurant and a bar.
So Barbara enjoy your 4 wheels instead of being a stubborn miss like me

Theresa

barbara12

Gosh I am always taken aback has to how lovely you all are.
Suzy...I do intend having some happy outings
Shelia...I will have to make friends with it...sure I will
Jilly...Im so glad you have a busy life it does help...
Numpty..some independence will be good
Colin...you certainly dont do things by halves
Ruby thankyou for the kind words..
Harlansmummy...hope I have spelt that right...thankyou
Val..yes you are right I would be telling people to make the most of it
Hileena..Im so glad you get out like you do, I have seen the little elec ones, I will get used to this and then I will see
theresa..India is somewhere I have always wanted to go...good for you
And thankyou again everyone, it just felt and will feel so strange, but like I say, I wont give up walking....altogether..got to tell hubby that I have ordered it... :shock:
Bless you all for being so kind xxxxxx

elainebadknee

Barbara

Your not giving in, you are adapting, considering others too as well as seeing it sensibly that you could do more if you had some wheels...The hands will strengthem, hell jazz up the wheels ala Madge in Benidorm! lol....
More than anything you are still you, the wonderful,caring person who always supports everyone on here so sending you and your hot rod the best of wishes and many happy days together!

Elaine & Sol
xx xx

barbara12 wrote:

Hi all
After a long deliberation, I have decided to get a set of wheels (wheelchair)..I feel so sad, has though I have been bereaved...I know Im being stupid, but I was once... before arthur training to be a fitness instructor.
But lately with the back and hips the pain is getting to much, dont get me wrong I like to keep busy doing whatever, but the walking has got me.
We went on a 3 day hol to Wales, and it suddenly hit me how the pain was really holding me back, so I thought if I get some wheel I would be able to push it along, and then sit in it and hopefully push myself, so at least I would be getting the exercise.
My left hand isnt much use but my right one is ok, so I think I have come to accept things and I will move on
Thankyou for listening...xxx

lindalegs

Hi Barbara,

I, too, would feel sad but we shouldn't, afterall if we can't see properly we get some glasses. We don't get hot food straight straight from the oven we use oven gloves. A wheelchair is just a tool to help us along.

As a temporary measure to see how you get on with them why don't you hire one from the Red Cross? They ask only for a donation of however much you want to give. That way you'll be able to see if you can use a self propel one or the sort where someone will push you. Just a thought.

Good luck and I hope you enjoy using it.

Luv,

harleyquin

Hi Barbara, I have recently had the experience of family coming for a weekend visit and wanting to go around the local garden centre.
I was ok for 10 minutes but then my hips and lower back became painful, so we made our way to the restaurant for a coffee so I could sit down.
I felt so guilty.
Then without a word my lovely sister-in-law disappeared and came back with a wheelchair.
I was embarrassed at first, but my brother in law pushed me around and we were able to stay there for 3 hours, it was my longest shopping trip for 18 months and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Now I am able to go back there regularly and go straight to the wheelchairs and my daughter happily pushes me around.
I am now seriously thinking about buying my own to enable me to get out and about more.
We have to find new ways of doing things, which work for us and we have to adapt to our circumstances.
I feel a wheelchair would give both of us a real boost, so let's go for it

Harley x

elnafinn

Aw dear Barbara,

You are such a lovely person and it must have been so difficult for you to be missing out on having a good time when out and about as your mobility has unfortunately lessened. I am sure you did think long and hard about it and weighed up the pros and cons. Being the sensible lady that you are, you have seen there are more pros than cons in becoming the owner of a wheelchair and it will become a reliable, silent friend that is there when you are in need and will blend into the background but not be far away, when you are not. You must give your wheelchair a name.

Does hubby know that it is on order now so to expect a delivery?

Love and gentle hugs
Elna x

kellerman

Oh Barbara
Never is adapting giving in. You are being sensible. We all want to be as near normal as possible and if getting a wheelchair helps so be it.
Much better than being a hermit and not going anywhere for fear of holding others up because of pain.

Don't ever think that having a helpful "friend" is giving up. And yes...give it a name as Elna says.....I call my stick Donald....don't know why as I don't know any Donalds.
May

dreamdaisy

Hello BB, how are you feeling today? I am thinking of you and I hope that you are feeling easier in yout mind about this malarkey. It's a sensible plan and I think in your heart of hearts you know that. Try to feel 8) rather than about it, never feel :oops: in it and make sure you at people as you flash past! I send hugs with a splodge of love. DD

tkachev

Hi Barbara sorry I'm late with this. I feel the same as you- It feels so final and I have resisted having a wheelchair in the past when I could have benefited from it, but really it needn't be like that. At least we have the option of whether to use it or not.

But then I could do with some glasses and I burnt my hand badly in the oven because I used a tea towel instead of an oven glove :oops:

E x

stickywicket

Sorry, Barbara, I missed this as I've had the family over and spent much of the weekend doing wheelies in my chair . The others are quite right though I fully appreciate where you're coming from. It seems like a mammoth step when one takes to a wheelchair for the first time. I even used to hate getting out of it in case people thought I was a fraud cos I could walk :roll:

If you haven't already got one, and are planning to self-propel, I'd just suggest you have a crack at it first in a shop or somewhere because, if you have one weak hand, you might end up going round in circles

I hope you and your chair will be very happy together. Mine's taken me to some fantastic places I'd never have got to on foot. And, you don't have to ride all the time, you know. I get chucked out for the uphill bits

bubbadog

Barbara, as crazy as it sounds, I've got a better fun time with my OH since using a wheelchair, we try to get out more of a weekend. You get more perks if you use a wheelchair If you want to go and see a concert or theatre show your carer( wheelchair pusher) goes free! And that applies to Wembley Stadium and Millenium Stadium as well. If you go on holiday and need to use airport you get fast tracked through checking in, passport control & getting on plane! As much as you feel your giving up and believe me I feel like that some days! using a wheelchair has given me more freedom to live my life.

coco67

Barbara honey,
by getting a wheelchair it is by no means an act of giving in. but rather an aid to opening up the freedom and outside world to you again, you will be surprised at how much more time you can spend out and about and how much more there is to see and enjoy. it is a mode of transport, a means to an end and not a symbol of giving up. i used to take a couple of my peeps out in there chairs when i was a carer and we'd have such a laff, and it opened the outside world back up to them, so please, walk when you can and sit in your chair when you need and hold your head up high, you have desided to embrace life and freedom, ask yourself.........were you ever embarassed to get on a bus or use the car to get some where instead of walking whne you were fit? nope so why feel that way now, your wheelchair is your own personel transport and if hubby has to push you he is your shofer .

good luck with your new found freedom and enjoy xxx

dachshund

Hello Barbara.
you are not giving in you are helping your body to rest
i'm very pleased you are getting one.
i know you are a very hard working lady and you will carry on
doing what needs to be done.
with arther your body feels worn out and it stops you doing
what you would like to do why let it.
you go and enjoy yourself
joan xx

barbara12

Hi all
Can I just say a big thankyou to you all
Elaine, Linda, Harley, Elna, May, DD, Elizabeth, SW, bubbadog, Coco and Joan
Thanks so much for your input, I feel embarrassed at my heading now...giving in...after what you have all said, I feel so much different now I have read your post, I can see that it is the start of a new me, not sure about the wheelies SW but who knows.
Harley I am so glad you are getting one,
I have read each and everyone of your post, but I wont answer everyone individually, or I might forget someone, yeah you got it...brain mashed... :?
When it arrives I will let you know what it is like...cause its quite cheap and is off a mobility shop on Eb**so watch this space
Love to all of you xxxxxxxx

tillytop

Hello Barbara

To echo what the others have said - this is absolutely NOT giving in - but will hopefully allow you to enjoy things more. I recently became a crutch user and felt very resentful and embarrassed. But they make such a difference and I wouldn't be without them now. I know that's not the same as a wheelchair but I can really see how, if you can overcome your feelings about using one, life will be so much easier for you.

Thinking of you.

Tillyxxx