Carers

harleyquin

After reading Tilly's post about not being able to do very much, leave the house etc, I was wondering how many of you have someone acting as your carer?
Since fighting the DWP and winning my tribunal for DLA with medium rate care (which I hadnt actually applied for, just mobility, but the tribunal said I needed!!!!) my daughter is now in receipt of Care Allowance and acts as my carer.
Strangely she was advised to do this by the jobcentre, as now my grandson is 7 years old she had to start looking for work, but she had been looking after me over the last 18 months and she was advised to apply to be my carer, as I would be unable to get around without her, as she is the only one who can drive.
If Tilly had someone who could act as her Carer she would be able to leave the house, even if it means going out in a wheelchair, it would give her a bit of freedom.
I hope this isn't being too presumptious, as a newbie I don't really know Tilly's situation, but thought this might help.

Harley X

dreamdaisy

What a thoughtful idea Harleyquin, I know Tilly will appreciate your taking the time to post this. She has Mr Tilly, a veritable tower of strength, but he has to work. I don't think there is anyone else who could take on such a role but her parents live nearby and they step in when life has steam-rollered her.

I am glad that your daughter is able to take on this role for you, to have that support is important. I'm currently just about coping - if it's a rough day and I can't get me knickers on, well, who's gonna know? DD

Harlansmummy

My husband gave up work to be my carer. It means money is tight, but it works for us. It is a lot for someone to take on, though, and it does stress a relationship because it alters your roles.

earthspirit

the carer thing is a bit of a sore point with me - my OH has had to greatly reduce the hours he works to look after me and has taken drastic cut in how he can earn. howeverhe still makes more than the £100 cut off point for claiming the benefit so his help to me is very bad for him. i have been told i am entitled to care from social services or whoever and qualify for free help with personal care & with housecleaning duties but heard so many bad stories about this, such as having to wait till unchtime to get showere and dressed etc. the help is at times to suit them and not to suit the person needing the care.

my old aunt had one of them who was supposed to prepare simple food for her. the carer did not know how to make scrambled eggs lol


i know quite a few people who have teenage children help with the care needs - sadly in my case i would rather lie dirty and unfed, than make my kids give up uni to look after me. it just wouldnt happen!!!

i think there are very many carers out there who are sacrificing their own lives to look after sick partners. not just us arther ones but from all sickness and poor health. i spoke with a rather horrid lady the other day who has trained her husband to straighten her hair every morning. she only goes out for coffee and shopping with friends who also do an awful lot for her and she said it didnt really matter than the delay to her husband leaving for work wasnt really important - his journey takes 1hr in traffic rather than 10 mins beore his duty as carer.

however, on a more positive note about getting some extra care that wont cost too much - adverts in local papers and you could find some friendly student or young mum with kids at school who willl help you dress, will do the dishes, open the windows, peel the spuds etc and who becomes a bright cheerful addition to your day.


stress increases physical pain and sometimes only a little bit of extra care can be all you need to have a better day.


sometimes the only extra care that is needed is from yourself, when you take time to just sit or lie and do nothing - give your mind and body a bit of a break from the struggle and worry - is life such an urgent panic that you must fill it with all things today?? we need to learn how to take time out, without ever leaving our chair. (on the plus side of this too, is that it takes your mind out of the pain - i call it waking sleeps)