Is adapting giving in?

LignumVitae

I went to see a really super lovely OT today. She has given me the comfiest (not most stylish admittedly) wrist braces and some new pressure gloves both of which are heavenly as I have had some really bad problems with wrists recently. So that was great.

Next time I see her we are going in the kitchen to look at tools I can use or ways of doing things which might make life a little more possible. Again, that is great. Or is it? Is learning to adapt giving a bit of you up to arthritis or is it an inevitable step down the road? I'm not heartbroken, in fact I am quite excited to see how she meets the challenge if me telling her I missed icing cakes but at the same time, it isn't the best having to acknowledge the 'normal' way is not for me any longer...
no if you were wondering, I never did quite hit the normal category in life before all this happened.

Hope you are all well out there in the rain!
LV xx

Numptydumpty

Surely, adapting is just the opposite of giving in. Making the most of what you have, and doing as much as you are able.
Good luck with it all.
All the best,
Numpty

kellerman

Adapting is never giving in. Its just that adapting. We all have to do it in one way or another. Yes...we would like to do things the way we did but we have to face it that its just not possible sometimes.
I'd love to run along the beach...run anywhere. Its just not possible.
Thanks to the lovely folks on here I have a kettle tipper as I can't lift a heavy kettle full of water.
It felt like giving in to begin with somewhat like a bereavement. I've adjusted. I will use anything I have to so I have a near normal life as I can.Never did I think this time would come.But it has so now I'll make the most of it.You sound like you have a good OT so make the most of whats on offer....if you need it take it. The very best of luck to you. May

stickywicket

Oh LignumVitae, this tussle went on in my head for years. Admittedly, there were far fewer adaption at the time and most looked like relics from some mediaeval torture chamber but.... My rule of thumb for a long time was that I'd have anything that enabled me to do something I couldn't do without it but I wasn't interested in stuff that simply made life easier. Why? Dunno. Denial, I guess.

I think how we see ourselves is important. If every room you enter confirms that 'a disabled person lives here' it can be quite daunting at first. I guess I still have a bit of the 'I'm not disabled' thing about me though one look would send others into fits of laughter at the idea. As well as a raised loo seat, I have a surround for my loo with armrests. It's invaluable to help me up when I'm in a bad patch but mostly it lives in the garage.

My advice would be to accept what's on offer. It makes sense and some of the smallest, cheapest things are the most valuable. Even if you don't use them much, accept that a sudden return to 'normality' is, shall we say, unlikely. Hey, who wants to be boringly normal anyway and, if you've never done it, you won't miss it. Welcome to the crazy gang.

LolaCrayola

I think adapting is the only way of carrying on. It's life, Jim, but not as we know it.

Milly8

I did at first see adapting as given in but not anymore.i saw an ot and she was great .helped me with kitchen things that a would not have thought about but a lot I did.i bought a kettle that you just put the cup under to get hot water as I could not pick kettle up.we moved into a house that was already adapted for the old lady how lived in it before us.rails everywhere ,a walk in shower and even a lift as there are steps up to the road( not that i have had to use the lift as yet)I was having a really hard time getting up from my chair and one day my sister and I walked past a new second hand shop in town and in The window was a lovely mobility chair.my sister said she would buy it for me as it was only £70.00 (bargain) but I did not want to give in but she went and bought it for me anyway.she said she did not want to go against my wishes but know how much i needed the chair and it's one of the best things I have ,it has made my life easier.everyone in our house loves my chair .if I go for a nap or bed someone's always sitting in it when I'm gone.You can't see it as giving in just helping you have a better quality of life.we struggle everyday so anything to make life easier.I had to use crutches three years back but as mtx kicked in i stopped useing them but I have needed them more and more lately so I have just treated myself to a lovely new snazzy pair instead of the grey nhs ones.
All the best
Milly

mig

Its not giving in its the way we all cope with life wether we have this desease or not,we adapt to those around us just as they adapt to us.Good luck with your splints,i hope your next visit is just as possitive.Mig

Avrielle

I wrote something somewhere else on here. There seems to be a delicate balance between fighting and accepting. But you need to fight and accept the right aspects of your life.

Having adaptations made and adapting yourself doesn't mean you are giving in, it is accepting that there are somethings that you need help with. Asking for help does not make you weak in any way, in fact it makes you stronger for being brave enough to seek it.

It seems that some things that you fight will only result in banging your head against a brick wall and making you worse. Acceptance is the far better route in some of these situations. Accepting aids and help is going to be far better than struggling on without it. Nobody says that it is easy, but once you have a mindset where you have a decent balance between fighting and acceptance, then things will become easier. xxxxxx

ichabod6

You are not giving in; you are moving on.

stickywicket

Further thoughts, LV. Adapting is crucial. Failing to adapt means living in denial, in the past and probably in outright misery. I apologise for repeating myself again but I always maintain that the more inflexible the body, the more flexible the mind and attitude must be. Enjoy your 'aids'.

harleyquin

When my OT came out to visit me she took in my surroundings, and said she might as well get everything she could sorted out now rather than me finding I needed something further down the line and having to join the back of the "assessment queue" which is usually 6 months long ( I guess different areas have different systems)
I was supplied with things that I probably didn't need at that time, but i'm finding them a real help more and more these days.
I have just replaced the supplied raised toilet seats with ones that have lids, as i don't like that aspect of them, especially when visitors come.
I also find the toilet frame cumbersome (or SCAFFOLDING as my son jokingly calls it) but I'm a bit "wide" for the seats you can now buy with handles attached :oops:
Anyway my point being, these things are to help us live as comfortably and independantly as we can.
I am happy having these things around to help me and don't feel anything one way or another to be honest (as the worst thing that could happen in my life had already happened, ie losing my beloved husband, so i was already trying to make the best of life)

I hope you can adapt to this new way of doing things, because that's all it is.

Best wishes
Harley X

dibdab

I feel sure that adapting isn't about giving in but more about getting on with life-there are so many events that can change what's "normal", for me it's more about finding the next normality and getting the best out of each day within that frame work. I can't walk miles anymore, but I can enjoy a stroll in the countryside followed by a lovely cuppa, or I can be outside enjoying some bird watching with the OH- different ways of enjoying the out doors, but good ones.

In my head adapting is more about telling Arthur that he's not winning.
Hope you find good ways of moving forward, we are all so much more than the sum of our symptoms and struggles.
Deb

valval

we all adapt as we go through life. it is making the best of things not giving in so what ever allows you the best life possible is what you want good luck val

LignumVitae

Thank you so so much for all your replies - they have really helped me to think things through and accept that adaptations and support are actually the very best thing and not to be afraid of them...I think Sticky you have me worked out - it's the denial bit that I have used so often as a reflex/ mechanism to get through and erm, well, that just can't carry on can it?!!

A good friend came to see me last night and reminded me that when things were good I was always in the kitchen, cooking and baking for whoever I could find to feed so if a bit of help gets me back there then maybe I'll be a bit happier and content anyway (and all my friends will be fatter). Plus I have decided that adaptation is not giving in but is actually us lot being at the front of the human race, after all, didn't Darwin explain that adaptation is essential to the survival of a species? OK this isn't quite what he meant but maybe the good thing we get from all of this is that we are more flexible (in one sense) and more able to change than the 'normal' people out there - makes us all rather an impressive lot I think!

Thank you again for taking the time to post here. I haven't been on the forum for long but it has been so wonderful to finally find out I am not alone, my fears are normal and experienced by others and that you are all so super lovely and supportive. Not sure how I got through all of this before!
LV xx

stickywicket

LignumVitae wrote:

maybe the good thing we get from all of this is that we are more flexible (in one sense) and more able to change than the 'normal' people out there - makes us all rather an impressive lot I think!

Couldn't agree more, LV. I'll drink to that (see Elna's thread. Party's at mig's)