Hands

[Deleted User]

Hi all,
Warning! This is a moan...
I just came back from hand therapy and feel like crying. It wasn't my first time there but every time I get the referral I seem to get someone inexperienced. It makes me so angry. The OT didn't know what rituximab or butrans patches were... I hope she knows how to make good splints for my poor hands. I say ''poor hands'' because when the OT was having a look at them, I had a good look too. I nearly broke down in tears when I saw her circling all the bad joints in my hands on those pictures of hands that they have. She circled nearly all of them. I usually try to avoid looking at my hands as they are quite damaged now and clearly show RA. I tend to think that if I don't notice them, others won't either. I just simply try to ignore them. But on a day like today, my hands are there, they are more visible to me, and it makes me so upset. I'm only 33 and this is what happened to me in the last 7 years. What will the future bring? I'm scared to think. And my hands are getting worse and worse. Nothing so far stopped the damage from progressing and when I read posts where people say that they RA is mild or well controlled, I keep thinking why is my RA so aggressive? What did I do to deserve this? I'm sorry for this moan. I'm crying now. The OT said I will need surgery for my trigger finger (again). Will this ever end? Sorry, too upset now to type any more.

lynnmick

Hi Nesia,

I feel so sorry for you,and you sound so upset i wish i could crawl through the screen and hug you i really do.

Please try not to be too downhearted, and think of the good things that have happened in your life, have you any children cos they certainly keep you occupied.

It is frustrating when you see people who dont even know anything about medications etc, do you have to see her again or can you ask to see someone different.

Please keep your chin up

Love
Lynn x

valval

hi nessia so sorry you have had to face this but we all tend not to look or we might have to face the truth and most of us not ready for that i hope a good cry helped and you are feeling more able to cope. val

suzygirl

Oh Nesia, I really feel for you. It is horrible when we have to 'face' up to our condition.

Have you got to see her again? If so I would tell her how upsetting you found the session, maybe she will learn something!!

((( hugs )))

stickywicket

There's no rhyme nor reason in who gets what, nesia. It's purely a lottery.

I do hope your splints will help a lot. I'm sure the OT will get you some good ones. That's her job and that's why she circled all the problem areas. If she'd minimised it you'd have ended up with ill-fitting splints which would have done more harm that good. I don't think there's any reason why she should know about meds or patches.

None of us know what the future will bring. We prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Meanwhile try to enjoy the present as there's always something good around - even if it's only this forum

[Deleted User]

Thank you all for your kind words.
Lynn, your post put a smile back on my face. Thank you. I don't think I can choose to see someone different but maybe it won't be too bad. As long as I get some decent splints, it will be fine.
Val, I didn't realize I wasn't the only one trying to ignore my bad hands. Not sure whether it's good or not. Thank you for taking time to write to me.
Dear suzygirl, I will be seeing her again soon but I don't think I will tell her anything as it wasn't really her fault that I felt so upset with my hands. It was the fact that I found her inexperienced but maybe I'm wrong. I suppose I will see next time. Thank you for your hugs.
Hello sticky, I know there is no reason why I am the way I am but it won't stop me from getting upset and angry with the whole world from time to time. I do hope the OT will make me some nice splints but still think she should know about main drugs her patients take, as majority of them come to her from rheumatology. Also I didn't get upset because she circled the problem areas but because they are so many of them. Thank you for your post and kind words.
Take care,