You all seem so in control, how do you do it?

stickywicket

Northstar, all husbands feel we've lost the plot whether we have arthritis or not. That's their default position

Just go easy on yourself. You're used to coping with stuff so arthritis must make you feel very out-of-control. It does to all of us at times. You will cope with this, as with other things, but there will always be times when you don't and we will always be there when that happens.

dreamdaisy

I've just read Sticky's comment above (about husbands) and I am laughing fit to burst! Anyhoo how could you 'insult' us? You dont' know us or our backgrounds but I reckon we all know that feeling of being alone and the only one who is struggling. I found the forum in April 2010 and on that day my life changed for the better. It arrested the downward spiral I hadn't realised I was experiencing until it changed direction. DD

[Deleted User]

I completely agree with DD. I am sure you didn't insult anyone. It is absolutely normal to feel overwhelmed by it all when you're in pain and struggling with your every day tasks. We all get like that. And that's why we understand each other so well. I also had a ''shoe crisis''. I had pairs of shoes I couldn't wear any more, and I can forget about heels for the rest of my life. I cried when I was sorting them out to take to the charity shop. Some of them were barely worn. It was awful. But then you try to forget and move on.

suzygirl

Northstar I am so glad that the forum has helped you. I hear your distress over the shoes. That was the one thing that really got to me. Handbags was a loss as well, but I thought if I have to have an over the shoulder bag, then it is going to be a radley bag

You are obviously a strong person and you will cope. In the meantime, keep talking it helps. We all understand.

Take care

dreamdaisy

Hello Northstar, how are things today? DD

LignumVitae

Ahhh Northstar, your children haven't lost anything, they probably gained an even better role model. When I was growing up my Mum developed a horrendous form of excema (I can't spell) and I watched her deal with something so physically unsightly with a courage that made me gasp even as a kid. She was so strong. I know she fell to pieces sometimes and I know my brother and I had to do things a bit different to other kids at times but she showed me how to be strong without even knowing she was doing it. I am 32 and have had arthritis since I was 21. I kicked and screamed for many years and felt a total mess and wobbly screw up. In the end, I think I grieved and stuff but didn't realise I had. I just found myself living with it and I think some of that comes from finding routes through and mechanisms to help. I read your post and wondered whether you just needed a bit of a break and time to yourself so you can absorb things a bit without feeling guilty that others are missing out if you do that.

Please don't think there is some point you get to where things become all virtuous and serene, I still find myself in tears or kicking out at this damned thing at times. It still frustrates but no where near as much as it did. As a friend told me, these things eat at you and then one day, without realising, you find yourself singing whilst you are doing the washing up or something and you realise that you are meeting the challenge, you are doing ok. It sounds like you are underestimating how well you are doing, there are loads of people here that have blown me away with their support on here and it makes a huge difference to know you aren't alone so keep coming back and talking to us. Good luck LV xx

LignumVitae

I missed your mid post...I have had this since I was 21, I still have a beautiful collection of shoes (currently under debate as they are in the room that one day will hopefully house a baby one day but OH doesn't understand they are my babies too). I have heels that I probably wont wear again but a few years back, during a really bad flare I lined them all up and sat on the sofa trying them all on. I was beaming when I had done and then went back to the nice sensible roomy, comfortable flats/slippers that I could actually stand in. I have kept the whole collection for if I need that moment again. so are they collecting dust or waiting for that moment?! I say waiting for the moment you need them

PowerOn

Hello Northstar,
Difficult to know what to say, this being ill bizz is a real pain and of course you are right to be upset and angry but when does acceptance come? Maybe in fits and bursts?
Everyone has good or bad days the folks here (especially the humour) is a great way to kick arthurs butt when needed.
I have "sitting shoes" I can't walk in them but I can certainlly wear them out and sit and look good!!!!!!! I just either grin and bare the pain to/from the car or change into flats when I have to get up and walk- don't know if that helps, hope it does and you can sit and look lovely in your sitting shoes.

Northstar

I don't feel so alone knowing your all out there, thank you for you support and honesty.

Sorry not been able to reply to you inividualy of late got took into hospital on Tuesday only just got home and feeling drained. Had severe vomiting and dehydration doctors told me I had viral gastroenteritis and metabolic acidosis? not sure about the 2nd one they did not really explain. But with a limited immune system I could not fight off the infection, but the 12 liter's of fluids and god know what else seemed to help.

Whilst there they did 2 ECG's both showing up a problem; NSR, non specific T wave invertion. Just wondering if anyone else has had anything like this as I had an ECG around 2 years ago before all this PSA and it was fine. Does Methotexate cause heart problems or the disease itself, rather scared now.

Got to go for a heart (OPD) and a running machine test (ETT)??? That should be a laugh not ran anyplace for well over year and half.

Must dig out trainers...

stickywicket

I'm sorry about your gastro-enteritis, Northstar, but it's good that you're back home now. I'm afraid I don't know much about heart problems or if it's possible that there's a connection with either your arthritis or meth. I think you'd best ask your doc. I hope the test results are good.

tillytop

Hello Northstar

I am so sorry things are so very tough for you at the moment.

I understand why you are worried about the heart things but, if you can, try to hold on to the fact that it has been picked up and hopefully the forthcoming investigations will reveal what is going on and what might be able to be done to help.

Re the heart tests - I had some heart tests recently, including what they called an "exercise stress test" and because I wasn't able to use the treadmill, they were able to do the test by using a drug to stress my heart instead. Maybe they would be able to do that for you too if the treadmill isn't possible. Just thought I would share that because it might help to set your mind at rest a bit about the tests.

Thinking of you.

Tillyxxx

Northstar

Hi Tilly

Thank you for sharing that it was playing on my mind, how an earth would I run on a tread mill. The other test will be easier I believe, an echocardiogram I think they said.

Sooner they do it the better I can deal with it then, right now it's the unknown and that is so much worse.

I hope your results were for the good

Thanks Tilly

Northstar XX

knuckleduster

Can't really offer you any practical advice as I've got OA, but just sending my best wishes in the hope you will soon get the help you need and will feel a bit brighter soon.

Janet xx

applerose

Sorry you're having such a hard time Northstar. I've had RA for a couple of years and, although I have changed how I do some things, I wouldn't say I have accepted it. I had the heart test a few years ago where they inject a drug which speeds up your heart. I could feel my heart beating really fast for a few seconds and then they actually counted down in seconds for me to let me know exactly when it would stop. A bit of a strange feeling but not at all painful and much easier than using a treadmill. Hope it goes well for you.