A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually '
So I'm sitting on the edge of the bed pulling off my boxers and the wife says to me "You spoil those dogs"
Just had bubble and squeak for tea... Guess I'll have to buy the kids 2 new hamsters tomorrow
Got home last night and there was a note on top of the TV from the wife.
It said simply "I am leaving you - it's no good it just isn't working"
I plugged it in and turned it on, and the picture was perfect!!!
Bobs been a proffessional flasher all his life he was going to retire this august,but decided to stick it out for another year.
Researches have discovered that excessive **** can cause dyslexia .Hwoevre, tihs is onlt in etxreem caess of slef aubse.
A little boy and a little girl are in the bath
The little boy said, Can i duck you?
I doubt it said the little girl you can't even say it!
The man who took Ryan air to court for losing his luggage has lost his case
i went to my allotment last week & found someone had covered it with 2 inches of soil , i went again today only to find it covered in another 2 inches of soil !!! the plot thickens
WHEN GOD GIVES YOU LEMONS MAKE LEMONADE